Posts tagged as: Sayward
It could be the turning of yet another season, or maybe it’s because my entire world has changed this year. Maybe it’s just this summer bug I’m fighting, but lately I’ve found myself especially reflective. And since it’s officially Get Out The Bonzai month, I figured it was the perfect time to share some of my thoughts. Afterall, I’ve always said that my role here is just to facilitate discussion. My goal is to create community and a safe space for growth. And the way to accomplish that is to be as honest and forthright as possible, yes?
It’s sometimes difficult to balance this blog, which is my passion, with other aspects of my life – namely earning income. It goes without saying that my family comes first, and mothering/partnering will be my number one priority. If only this blog could always be number two!
In the past I’ve been open about my ambition to monetize BA. It’s not my driving purpose here (of course), but I sure wouldn’t shy away from it. Every dollar required to live my life is time taken away from this space. If BA could do a bit to earn its keep, that would change a lot. And becoming a mommy has made my time more precious than ever. Sometimes I find myself asking a very difficult question: is blogging like this really sustainable for me?
I firmly believe in NPR (National Public Radio), PBS (the Public Broadcasting Service), and CSAs (community supported agrigulture), which is why I’ve been operating under a model I call USB – User Supported Blogging. That means that I’ve eschewed advertising dollars and instead relied on contributions from my readers (via my wishlist and the tip jar → ). I am so incredibly grateful for every gift I’ve received, but the undeniable truth is that donations won’t really bridge that financial gap.
Right now I work for my $crilla and I blog for love, and those two investments become competing factions in the ”War On Sayward’s Time”. And since family always come first, and since the sad truth is I do *need* to make money, in the end it’s the blog that suffers.
My ultimate dream is to someday marry my income obligations to that which brings me true joy. In other words, I’d love Bonzai Aphrodite to become lucrative, so that I could channel all of my extra energy right here. I have such Big Dreams and Grand Plans (yes capitals!) for this project, if only I could devote the time!
I’m not trying to get rich. I don’t make much money right now and I don’t need that much to maintain my lifestyle. But, well, a girl’s gotta eat. (And this girl’s gotta eat organic!) Life costs money, and I do need some.
So here’s where I would love some input. I’m decidedly disinterested in hosting advertisements, but I have been considering ’sponsorship’. Essentially, featuring a company whose product and ethics I can completely get behind.
Do you see a distinction between advertisers and sponsors? Do you think allowing sponsorship would compromise the integrity of the site? (Or conversely, would you appreciate being exposed to responsible, green businesses?)
I’ve also considered other avenues of income via BA, such as selling quality merchandise like tees and totes. (Which, personally, I think could be so fun!) How would you feel if I offered BA-inspired garments and goodies? Would you be interested in buying them, or do you feel like our relationship would change if I were “selling something”?
My integrity is more important to me than anything. I always want you to trust that I’m operating above board and in honor of the principles I advocate. So I put it to you, my readers, my community, my ’shareholders’ – what do you think?
This meeting is now called to order . . .
Yay Yay Yay! Happy happy day, Happy Veganniversary to meeeeeee!!! Last year I honored the day with a party hat and a piece of spice cake, but to be totally honest, I felt like poo! I was solidly into my first trimester morning sickness, and, well, we took a LOT of pictures to get that single semi-decent one.
But this year – this year was a true celebration! And would you believe that the cake up there is entirely RAW vegan?! It’s true – I made it myself!
No, this year there was no morning sickness. Instead we took our gorgeous little veg baby on a fabulous vegan picnic in the park. It was one of those magical days, Waits was all smiles and the weather was perfect and the conversation flowed so easily. Simpatico. Damian and I had the most amazing talk, the kind that leaves you feeling so fulfilled – challenged and heard and hopeful.
Our discussion ranged all over the map, but one central them was, of course, veganism. We spent a lot of time musing on our own, personal understanding of our veg*nism, which is quite different for the two of us. I love this sort of reflection because, at least for me, my relationship with my veg*nism is totally dynamic. It changes, it’s always changing, as I come across new information or reconcile ethical disparities or challenge myself to confront a difficult idea. I am definitely not the same veg*n that I was 2 years ago!
‘Buckwheaties’ gRAW-nola with fresh fruit and coconut water.
Orange chocolate cheesecake with coconut snow. Mmm yes I totally ate dessert for brunch. You get to do that when it’s RAW!
Over the past few months my diet has gone through another transformation. I’ve been so incredibly inspired surrounding food, in the realms of both flavor and nutrition. I’m completely in love with what’s around me – uncomplicated, fresh, seasonal produce in simple preparations. And simultaneously I’ve been furiously studying health and wellness, applying what I’ve learned in the ancient tradition of ‘food as medicine’.
I’m the happiest little witch in my kitchen, concocting the most delicious and nutritious magical creations. And, I feel so good.
But veg*nism isn’t just about food – there’s no such thing as a ‘dietary vegan’ (no one stops buying wool to lose weight, or skips the circus for their health). This is a lifestyle, and it impacts every aspect of living. Sometimes I forget how I used to be, all balled up and stressed out, carrying so much anxiety and angst. This weekend I remembered the gift that veg*nism gave to me – permission to relax into a more peaceful existence. Living each day with my actions reflecting my belief in compassion, unconflicted.
I’m certainly not perfect and I’m still working on figuring all this out. You’ll notice that I try to refer to my own lifestyle as ‘veg*n’ as opposed to ‘vegan’. It’s just that I’d rather not argue about the minutia, and so I’m more comfortable this way. I have mad respect for those who, for example, will trade in all their old leather as soon as they go vegan. But that’s not where I’m at – and I think that’s okay!
It’s a journey, to find our own truth, and then to actually live it. That’s the hard part of course – to be honest with ourselves, and then to live up to that. So, my veg*nism is a beautiful tool for me. A tool that keeps me thinking, and growing, and striving to be the best version of myself.
Plus, you know, look what I get to eat!
So happy Veganniversary, and here’s to many, many more!
The ‘Bed Rest Nest’ was where I spent the vast majority of Winter 2010.
AND HELLO SPRING!!!
This past Saturday, March 20th, was the vernal equinox that marks the first day of spring – and you better believe I was thinking of you guys on that day! I’m still technically on maternity leave, but I wanted to ‘come out of hibernation’, as it were, (how season-appropriate!) to acknowledge the passing of another winter. And to celebrate!
A very happy and very tired new mama, haha.
Here in Portland the first day of spring coincided with the first day of the 2010 Farmer’s Market. There was no way I was going to miss that! So we ventured forth – my husband, my son, my father, and I – for Waits’ very first outing (and first of *many* Farmer’s Markets, I’m sure)
And I know I’ve confessed to being a freaky autumn lover, but I gotta say: there’s nothing quite like a little sunny lovin’ after a long winter. So I’ve put together another love list, of things that make me excited for springtime!
My wee sunbather, the next generation of farm-fresh-food enthusiasts.
Why I <3 Spring
- BEING OUTSIDE! After 10 weeks of bed rest, birth, and then these quiet postpartum days, I’m so looking forward to getting out and being active!
- Walking my sweet boydogs. I’ve so missed my daily neighborhood meandering. Now I’ll be roving with the little one strapped to my chest, and it’ll feel so great to get back into shape!
- Garden Season! Oh, but of course. My plate is pretty full and I’ll have to scale back my ambitions this year, but that won’t stop me from getting my hands as dirty as possible. I’m planning a bigger and better patio herb garden, and I’ll be filling my planter boxes with tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes (lordy I’m ready for good tomatoes again!)
- Getting my vitamin D direct from the source.
- Backyard makeovers! While I may not be gardening as much this year, Damian and I have grand plans for a complete landscaping overhaul. It will be Damian’s next big project, and it’s going to be RAD.
- Sweet sexy sundresses. Unpacking my warm weather wardrobe, and hiding away all the coats and scarves. Bare legs and sandals and the delicious smell of sunscreen (which, to my mind, means grand adventures). Wearing light-as-air cotton, and glittery flip-flops, and . . . my son! =)
- Last Thursday, and First Thursday, and all the other magnificent art culture that Portland has to offer. My son and I will be making the rounds, to be sure.
- Foodie season! Oh man, I do love soups and hearty winter fare, but I’m so ready for FRESH veggies, RAW meals, and all the delicious VARIETY that we get this time of year. Asparagus, artichokes, berries (!!!), oh my. Can. Not. Wait.
- Making sun tea! With fresh mint, grown in my own yard.
- Nature. Playing at the river, hiking in the gorge, exploring the arboretum, and more more more!
- Green smoothies for breakfast. Eating really, really healthy.
- And mostly, taking the time to smell those fresh spring blooms, to slow down and really look around, to love on my new family, and to appreciate this incredible life!
‘Papa San’ calms his grandson. That’s my Dad – don’t we look so alike??
I hope that you’re all enjoying these first few kisses of springtime (or autumn’s invigorating chill, for those of you in the southern hemisphere). I’m going to go back into hiding now, and continue to enjoy these precious, once-in-a-lifetime first weeks, with my newborn firstborn.
For those of you interested, I finally finished writing my [incredibly verbose - would you expect anything less? haha] Birth Story, which you can read here.
For the visually-minded, Waits has his very own microblog (maintained by Damian), here, with tons of photos and even a few words.
And finally, some thank you’s are in order.
A huge and heartfelt THANK YOU to Matt J, the L family, and Barbara B, for the generous contributions to my tip jar. You guys help to make all this possible, and I hope you know how much your support means to me.
A special THANK YOU to Katherine D, who sent me a Neti Pot off of my wishlist. I’m so excited to finally have one, and just in time for pollen season too. You rock!!!
And the sincerest of THANK YOUs to Jacquelyn, who sent me and my son a package of beautiful handmade bibs and burp cloths. These are amazing, I’m so impressed with your craft, and so incredibly touched at the sweet gesture. They are treasures, truly.
So thank you again, and thank you to all of you out there. You’re all my inspiration. I hope you’ll bear with me on my hiatus, and I hope to see you still here when I return!
Now, my dears, what are YOU looking forward to in the coming season?
