And speaking of computer messes … Firstly, I want to say THANK YOU. Thank you guys so much for the kind and supportive words, for the encouragement and the commiseration and the virtual *hugs* (of which there were many, and much appreciated, every single one). I know I’ve been very up and down lately – well mostly down – and I can’t tell you how much it means to me that I’m able to be honest about that. Vulnerability is terrifying. But it’s also, as I’m finding, something that unites us. So many of us feel vulnerable and scared and for some reason right now, this year or this season or this economic period or this astral alignment or whatever it is that’s causing it, well something is going on in a big sort of way. Almost all of the sensitive people that I know, both in real life and online, are struggling. And so many of you have reached out to share that you’re struggling too, or reached out to express how comforting it is to read that somebody else is going through the same thing right now. So yes. There’s a lot of us that feel vulnerable and overwhelmed and maybe a little beat down by life. But those feelings can lead us to finding each other, our community, our sensitive soul tribe of like-minded green-living justice-seeking Love Warriors. Hello there! The gangs all here. ♥
But not every one of you out there is down-and-out. Quite a few of you are through the abyss, on the other side, wiser and stronger and willing to look back and share your wisdom. I appreciate that so much. I’ve received such kindness and such inspiration from those of you who have dealt with depression and conquered it, who have taken on a new business or freelance career and have achieved financial freedom, who have found a way to keep dreaming BIG despite the onslaught of BS that life likes to throw in our paths again and again and again. You guys are awesome. Thank you.
But also, I can’t take your money. Yes, many of you suggested that I set up a donor page or a GoFundMe or something like that, so that readers could contribute to helping me buy a new computer. It was so incredibly sweet and unexpected. And I completely understand that it’s coming from a sincere and loving place. You guys are good people. Generous people. And the fact that this community is made of YOU – of those kinds of people – well that means absolutely everything to me.
Which is why I can’t take you up on your generous offers. Because I don’t want to tarnish the relationship that we have with each other here.
I really love that I’m able to come to this blog and be authentic. That I can come here and rejoice when things are great, and that I can come here and spill my guts when things are hard. But if I came here and spilled my guts, and that gut-spilling led directly to financial contributions from you guys, well it seems like it could be a very slippery slope to a very different kind of relationship. It seems like it could start to feel like I was complaining in order to garner sympathy. And then you might feel manipulated. And I’m not willing to give up being able to come here and say “OMG YOU GUYS LIFE IS HARD AND I’M SAD!” If money entered the picture, it wouldn’t ever feel like pure authenticity, I think. At least I worry that it wouldn’t, and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take. This space, this community, and the relationship we all have here, is waaaaay too important to me.
But truly, from the bottom of my heart, please know that the offer means so much to me. And actually, there will be times in the future that I *do* ask you for financial support, for new projects. I’ll just make sure that those are kept completely separated from my more emotionally honest posts. That’s how I feel comfortable, and I hope you understand. I hope that makes sense!
Anyway, thank you all so much. You really are the best and I’m so grateful to have you all. Thanks for always being awesome.