Facing Failing Health As A Vegan

January 20th, 2013 - filed under: The Food » Food and Health



I have been trying to write this post for ages, and I do mean ages. I’ve spent enough hours staring at this blank page, blinking cursor, to have written it many times over and still been able to bake a gluten-free vegan cake. Okay maybe that’s not true, but you get my point.

You’d think it would be a relatively easy story to transcribe. It’s a linear progression of factual events, right? Well, sort of. There are actually a number of ways I can tell this story, is the thing. For example I could very simply lay out the series of events, the way I got sick and why, and how I got better (I did). But that would sort of miss the point.

Or, I could write a scathing assault on our modern medical system which refuses to look at holistic health or even to pause at the quiet insistence of a new mother saying “No really, something is wrong.” Yeah, I could definitely write that story.

Or I could muse about the fascinating interplay of mental and physical health, wax New Age-y about the mind-body connection; wonder which causes which and ponder where it all begins (though I don’t think I’m the girl to write that article, ‘cause I’m not all that New Age-y and it’s all just Ouroboros anyway.)

Obviously, this is going to be a long post, can you tell?

The truth is that there’s only one way it feels right tell this story, and that is to contextualize it in the exact way that the entire thing was contextualized in my own life. It’s a story you don’t hear much in public, but I sure have heard it over and over in confidence. And I feel like it’s a story that needs to be told.

So this is my story: the story of how my veganism, held in deepest conviction, hit the wall of health crisis, and cracked with doubt.

~~~

Before I begin I want to acknowledge that I leave some things vague, mostly when it comes to my blood tests/numbers and what led to my diagnosis. This is because, well, it’s in the past now and I’m just not up for debating the specifics of how or what I could have done differently. I know everyone on the Internet is an expert (hey, me too!) but please respect that I don’t wish to argue about what I did or didn’t do.

I can imagine about a million and one ways in which people might be offended by what I’m about to say. I can also imagine another million and one ways in which people might want to invalidate my experience (Psychosomatic! Placebo! Armchair RD!). And you know? That’s fine. I’m not here to defend myself. I can’t please everyone, eh? I’m just trying to speak my truth and tell my story, exactly as I experienced it. Here goes.

Breastfeeding in a farm field. You now, like you do.


So, everything started a few months after Waits was born. But it was hard to get a handle on at first, because I was a) dealing with postpartum anxiety [certainly intertwined with my health issues], and b) a first-time mother who was attachment parenting a colicky baby, and c) still trying to “do it all” [ie maintain my blog and speed-write a book while keeping on top of all of the mom/wife/house stuff]. Which is why it took me so long to figure out that something was really wrong.

It began with the fatigue, and I don’t just mean that new mom exhaustion that’s born of too many sleepless nights. This was different, so that on my “bad” mornings my limbs were like lead, and moving into my day felt like so much work, it almost seemed unbearable. Like I said, the physical and the mental stuff was all tied up together.

The fatigue was often accompanied by a splitting headache, and after that came the rashes. My skin was suddenly hyper-sensitive. I had to stop using all lotion and even coconut oil – everything caused me to break out in itchy little red bumps. But even without any stimulus, the rash would come. Often it would be a fatigue day followed by a fatigue + headache day, with the rash setting in a few days after that. Or sometimes the rash would just show up, unannounced.

All of this compelled me to talk to my doctors; first to a midwife and then to an MD.

The midwife said that it sounded like typical new mom stuff. That I should come back if it hadn’t cleared up in a few months. It felt like the brush off.

The MD suggested that I had picked up a virus, any one of the many (like fifths and that cohort) that are common among small children. I asked about the strange recurrence, almost like a cycle, and he said that it could happen with these viruses. Even when I spoke to him again, six months later and it was still happening at regular intervals, he said it was just a virus. I felt like he wasn’t hearing me.

There were other symptoms as well, things that at the time seemed like maybe they were “normal” (in that new-mom sort of way), but as the year wore on and they all got worse, a bigger-picture of the problem began to emerge. My skin was often itchy and dry. I had these extreme mood swings. EXTREME. Often they seemed related to food, which was part of what prompted The Great Grand Diet Trial of 2011. I would get hot flashes, too. Clammy skin. Intense sugar cravings. And of course, anxiety and depression. Lots of anxiety, lots of depression. And eventually by the end of it, complete self-loathing.

This continued through the second half of 2010, and on into 2011. It only got worse. But my symptoms would ebb and flow, enough so that over and over, I would think it maybe had passed. I would feel better for a spell, and I would begin to believe that it had ended. Then, one evening my skin would feel a bit dry, and my heart would sink. And sure enough, the next morning, I would wake up with that same extreme fatigue, feeling like I literally couldn’t get out of bed.

That was the worst part of it all – the over and over up and then down, hope and then despair. That roller coaster, it wears you away. Does damage to the psyche.

I would have done almost anything to feel better. Anything. And when you’re vegan, eventually you start to wonder if your diet is part of the problem. Or maybe, everyone else wonders for you. But I couldn’t help it – I wondered too. I talked to my father, who is a well-respected doctor of Chinese Medicine. He advised eating meat. My Qi was weak, he said. “Just a little bone broth?” or, “Maybe some fish?

No” I repeated over and over. “Dad, I can’t do that. I’m vegan.” It became a point of contention in our relationship. He saw his daughter suffering and he wouldn’t accept my refusal of his solution. I felt like I was suffering and he couldn’t step outside his narrow paradigm to try to help me. But I’ll admit, his words and the words of everyone else wiggled in, and I worried that they were right. Was I making myself sicker because I was stuck in this ideology?

In March of 2012, over a year and a half into this, I spoke again with the MD. He still maintained it was a virus. Or, “Sounds like typical new mom stuff to me.

I felt completely alone. I felt like I was screaming for help and nobody was listening. And I felt like I was living a lie, blogging about the good stuff in my life (trying to practice gratitude, trying to be positive), while omitting this enormous struggle. It felt disingenuous and contributed to my shriveling self esteem.

In February of 2011, I quit blogging. I needed to figure out how to get myself better. Because I was truly, completely, hopelessly miserable. And I’m having trouble walking the line as I write this now, not wanting to sound melodramatic, but needing to express just how horrible it was, and how much it affected me. Quality of life? I had none.



Finally, in April 2012, I made an appointment with a Naturopathic Doctor.

I’d held off for a lot of reasons, mainly because of money (insurance doesn’t cover most naturopaths) and also I don’t know, maybe a sort of prejudice? I mean, I’m a hippie girl at heart, raised that way and totally accepting of alternative modalities. But homeopathy is something I could never really get behind (it just DOESN’T make sense to my scientist’s brain) and since I have both an MD and a Chinese Medicine doctor in the family, I just never really looked into Naturopathy.

But this was different, because I wasn’t getting the help I needed and very simply put, I was desperate.

I found a list of naturopaths that were covered by my insurance, and cold-emailed the ones that sounded like a good fit. This is what my email said:

“Hello, I’m wondering if you are currently accepting new patients. I am
dealing with lots of weird health/mental health issues which have come
up following the birth of my son. He is 25 months and the problems
started around 5 months postpartum.

I am “medium crunchy”, which means I’m actually very crunchy and
prefer alternative medicine techniques, but I’m also very grounded by
traditional science. You sound like you have a similarly balanced
approach and I’m wondering if we could have a consult and see if we
“click”.

Thanks so much! Cheers,
~Sayward”



Dr. Lasse called me back within a few hours. She left me a message, laughing at my “medium crunchy” remark, and sounding so kind. I felt right away that she could help me.

My first appointment was at the end of April, and I wept as she did my intake. I cried A LOT in that first session. I just felt such relief at finally speaking to somebody who looked me in the eye, who said “Yes, you’re obviously sick, let’s figure out why.” I had hope, real hope, for the first time in ages.

I told her my story and she agreed with my suspicion that my hormones were the underlying issue. The cyclical nature of the symptoms – and the symptoms themselves – seemed to indicate a hormonal imbalance. She was alarmed to hear that I wasn’t menstruating, something I hadn’t paid much attention to. I assumed that since I was still nursing I was just experiencing lactation-induced amenorrhea. Also, I hadn’t had regular periods in years, since way before getting pregnant (and since before going vegan, in case you wondered). I wasn’t actually menstruating when I got pregnant with Waits.

But she felt strongly that I should be, and so this became a starting point in our initial treatment plan. I left her office that morning armed to the teeth with a battery of the crunchiest crunchiness you ever did see. Herbal tinctures. Bitters for digestion. 3 different homeopathic remedies. Castor oil. A “prescription” to eat certain seeds on a lunar cycle in order to induce menstruation. I know! And of course, orders for a whole battalion of blood tests.



Two weeks later my blood work was back. Let’s pause and take a moment now. Try to imagine the absolute worst, the most ridiculous, the most comically ironic diagnosis that a vegan could receive.


No, it wasn’t B12. My B12 and D were great.


However, my cholesterol was abysmally low. And on top of that, I had blood markers for protein depletion. Seriously.

Cholesterol
Cholesterol is a type of fat found only in animal foods. Vegans do not intake ANY dietary cholesterol. Human bodies do produce cholesterol, however, that’s only if the body is healthy. Cholesterol is produced in the liver. My liver had been abused by many years of drinking, smoking, caffeine, and then eventually, pregnancy.

Cholesterol is the precursor to all sex hormones (like estrogen, progesterone, etc). Without adequate cholesterol, the body cannot make hormones.

Protein Depletion
You’ve probably heard vegans (and pretty much every vegan “leader”) scoffing at the protein question. “The protein myth!” and “How many cases of Kwashiorkor have you seen this year?” they’ll quip sarcastically. Basically, “neener neener, duh” is the attitude towards people who question protein.

But you don’t have to develop complete protein deficiency to be protein-depleted. And I, living an active lifestyle, nursing, and eating a sometimes-high-raw, always-vegan diet, was protein depleted.


I was devastated. Devastated. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. To hear “cholesterol” and “protein” as a vegan, well it just shook me to my very core. I was reeling.

My naturopath knew that I had some rescued hens, and she suggested that I start eating their eggs.

And maybe you’re thinking the same thing? It sure would solve all my problems, right? That’s a perfect little packet of pure protein and cholesterol, right there. In my very own backyard. Guaranteed cruelty-free.

The thing is though, it wasn’t about me. Because, sure, I could eat those very specific eggs that I don’t necessarily have an ethical objection to, and it would probably help me. Maybe even heal me. But then . . . what would that mean?

If I had to eat animal foods in order to get better, then that would mean I was not capable of being vegan. And if I was incapable of being vegan, then that would mean that the vegan ideology was fundamentally flawed. Because if I HAD to eat animals to be healthy, then eating animals could NOT be morally wrong.

So do you see? That this wasn’t just about me? Wasn’t just about my own health?

Veganism is the cornerstone of my life. It is my framework, it contextualizes my actions and informs my every decision. I believe in kindness and non-violence with the wholeness of my being. This is everything to me.


Those next few days, I was in a stupor. I cancelled a speaking engagement at the Mad City Vegan Fest, an event I’d been so looking forward to. How could I stand in front of a room and talk about veganism, when my own health was failing and my own faith was in crisis?

And then one night, just a few days after I received my diagnosis, I was making dinner and listening to a very popular vegan podcast. The host is one of my greatest mentors, and her discussions always calm and inspire me. This newest episode was all about talking to people who might misuse our words: people who call themselves vegetarian but eat fish, or people who call themselves vegan but eat occasional “humane” animal products, etc. And, there was a section on people who stop being vegan “for health reasons”. What a coinkidink.

One thing I’ve always loved about this speaker is the compassion that she seems to radiate in everything she does – it’s something I’ve worked hard to emulate. She’s just got a way with non-judgment, which was why it came as such a shock to hear the callous, almost mocking tone she took when speaking on this particular topic. She seemed to imply – no, she definitely said – that if someone gives up veganism for health reasons, it’s because “. . . they felt inconvenienced . . . ” and “. . . [they] didn’t really embrace it enough . . .”, ending with, “. . . and so the easy way out is an excuse that appears legitimate.”

This is, essentially, victim-blaming people during their most vulnerable time. And hearing this from someone that I so admire? Well that was just sort of my breaking point.

You don’t know!” I wanted to scream. “If you’ve never been sick you don’t understand! I would do practically ANYTHING to stop feeling like this!

So that’s the night I found my anger. And oh boy, was I angry. I resented everyone, everyone I’d trusted. All the vegan leaders and vegan doctors and vegan gurus who’d insisted over and over that I was eating the healthiest diet on the planet. They lied to me! FUCK THEM!

Well, that lasted about 12 hours. I’m not really one for anger and thus my self-righteous indignation didn’t make it past morning. The second I let myself remember why I was vegan in the first place, was the second my anger melted away (literally). Because, remember, it’s not about me.

I am vegan for the animals.

Period. I’m not vegan for the leaders and doctors and gurus, for the approval of my mentors or even for my own health. I’m vegan because I believe with all my heart and soul that it is wrong to inflict violence and suffering on innocent beings. Period.

So that was that. I’d uncovered my reserve strength. And now I had to find a way to get better while staying vegan. I mean, if anyone could possibly re-imagine, get creative, and think outside the box for a nontraditional solution, well I think that I’m just the girl for that job. I’m pretty freakin’ persistent.



I came to my next appointment with a renewed sense of purpose. “We have to make this work within the framework of veganism” I told my naturopath. She was supportive. We devised a plan.

I’m not going to go over every detail of my particular treatment, but in general it went something like this:

• Seeds. Within 3 weeks (seriously!) of starting the cycling seeds program for hormonal balance, I got my first period in over 3 years. I don’t even know what to say about this because it makes the scientist in me raise such a skeptic’s eyebrow, but listen. Dudes. It worked.

• Liver support. We wanted to help my liver efficiently make its own cholesterol. The regimen included castor oil packs, omitting alcohol, coffee, and black tea, and omitting refined sugar. I also cut out gluten because it very much exacerbated my most troublesome symptoms (fatigue and moodiness).

• Fat. Eating as much saturated fat (coconut products, cacao butter) as possible (SORRY NOT SORRY, DR. CAMPBELL) because saturated fat stimulates cholesterol production. Also, eating plenty of other healthy fats, like olive oil, nuts, and avocados (SORRY NOT SORRY, DR. ESSELSTYN). [Of course, I’m just being playful “apologizing” to these amazing doctors. I mean no disrespect – these are great men. But, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that although I believe a low-fat vegan diet is excellent for reversing and curing many chronic diseases, that does NOT mean that it’s the right diet for everyone. A diet for healing is different than a diet for maintenance, is different than a diet for building (pregnancy) and is certainly different than a diet for growth (children). I feel like a lot of vegans, and vegan leaders, overlook this important point. And in my own anecdotal experience, the vegans who most often get sick are of the low-fat and/or all-raw variety. Maybe this warrants it’s own post in the future, eh?]

• Protein. I made a conscious effort to include plenty of protein in my daily menus, with the aim of eating something protein-rich with every meal. During my intensive healing period, I was eating high-protein foods all day (beans, tofu, tempeh, quinoa, lentils, and more beans beans beans) and fixing myself a “protein & saturated fat” shake every morning and every night before bed.

• Additional emotional/physiological support, via herbal tinctures and homeopathic remedies. Because well why not?


And the results? Following this protocol, my progress was so immediate and so monumental, it felt like nothing short of a miracle. Within just a few weeks I felt like a different woman. I could hardly believe it.

And as the months passed, I only continued to improve. I was able to lay off some of the stricter guidelines (reintroduce black tea, drop the late night shake, etc). There was a lot of other very difficult stuff going on in my life back then, but my health remained strong and continued to gain strength, and that made all the difference in the world. Much of my anxiety and depression was relieved just by physically feeling better. So much.

When my blood was retested in September 2012, my cholesterol had moved up into the healthy range, and the markers for my protein depletion had mostly normalized (still room to improve, but much better). By the end of October I felt like both my physical and emotional health had made a complete recovery, and I scheduled my last session with my naturopath.

In some ways, I really feel like she saved my life. For those of you in the Portland area: Dr Raina Lasse, ND. I simply cannot recommend her highly enough.

~~~

These days I feel strong. I am healthy and I am happy. It’s actually not something I think about much anymore, which is more of a relief than you can probably understand. When you have your health, you just don’t realize how much you have to lose.

As for my current diet, I still eat coconut products (saturated fat) more often than most folks, but not every day. I’ve also retrained myself in the way I approach my meals, so that I always include some protein (it’s become second nature now). I do believe that every person requires a slightly different diet/macronutrient ratio, and that there’s no one set way that is a guarantee for good health. Some people only need very little fat, others don’t do well with carbs, and still others require lots and lots of protein. VIVE LE BEANS!

But all of these individual needs, I think, can be accomplished within the framework of a vegan diet. I do believe that now. Because I’m proof.

“I adore myself and everyone else.” Affirmation on the mirror at Cafe Gratitude, Hollywood.


If you are vegan and sick, please know that you are not alone. This is happening to others. This is even happening to leaders in our community. I know, because I’ve talked to them.

And you know what? It’s is a damn shame that there is such a stigma attached to this, that people feel the need to suffer in silence. I mean I get it, I do. As vegans we deal with enough skepticism from the “outside” world, and it can start to feel like you need to be a shining example of vegan health and perfection at every moment, or else you’re damaging the cause. But it’s a mistake, I think, that the leaders and bloggers and writers and others, are not sharing more of these sorts of struggles. Because we cannot fault people for giving in and going back, if they have no examples of how to persevere.

If nobody shares their stories, then everyone feels alone.

And if I, a deeply committed ethical vegan with a reputation and career on the line, living in freakin’ Portland Oregon, can actually consider going back . . . well, then I can’t blame isolated vegans in small towns who have no support system at all, for doing the same.

Losing your health is the scariest thing. When you’re sick, it consumes everything. But you don’t have to feel like hell just to stand by your beliefs, and you don’t have to stop being vegan in order to feel better. Find a medical practitioner – whichever type you prefer (I’m naturopath-for-life now!) – one that will actually listen and really wants to help. Get your blood tested! Don’t play guessing games, just pony up and pay to know what’s really going on. Then educate yourself, reach out to experts, reach out to the online community, find support, and work with your doctor to figure out a treatment plan that will fit your needs.

Once you’re better (and you will be), share. Leaders and bloggers and writers and everyone else, please share! We will never be able to figure out the whole puzzle, until we are looking at all the pieces. This is not a matter of veganism failing; this is simply a failure of information.

~~~

So that’s it. That’s the story of how I got sick, had a crisis of faith, found my strength, and fought my way back to health and happiness. My hope in telling this story is that it may inspire you to stand firm in your own convictions, whenever those convictions are rooted in love.

So with all my love,

*cheers*

To your health.



Edited to add: I am completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I have received today. Thank you all so much! It is downright scary to put yourself out there, but you have all reaffirmed my intuition that this was a story that needed to be told. And I am honored to have been able to share it.

As of now, tonight, this post has garnered almost 10,000 hits. Amazing! Please, keep sharing, because it’s obviously resonating with people out there. Again, I’m just so honored.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to respond to each comment individually, but please know I have read and appreciate every single one. Thank you so much again – it feels great to be back! ♥

  • Lee

    Nothing to do with her diet.
    Except when she changed her diet she was ok.
    Hmmmmm.

  • Holly

    I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease about a year ago, and I’ve had to work really hard to maintain a vegan diet since I can’t always digest veggies, legumes, nuts and whole grains. It can be really difficult to defend a vegan diet to other people when your health is failing, even though there are millions more people in far worse health that aren’t vegan. Thank you so much for writing this- being a vegan with health issues can be really isolating, and it’s so encouraging to know that there’s someone out there that fought to get better while sticking to her ethics. This story really gave me some much-needed encouragement. <3

  • Meghan

    I am incredibly grateful for this post. THANK YOU for being open about your health issues…I had been experiencing similar, although less adverse, symptoms this past winter and was at a loss as to what to do. My western MD suggested a hormonal imbalance, yet gave me no advice other than to start taking estrogen supplements. I refused, and was still miserable. Unable to afford a ND, I was at a loss…I had been doing independent research but nothing seemed to fit exactly what I was experiencing, until I read your account. After reading this i began researching low cholesterol. WHY DONT PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS??? I had no idea this could potentially be an issue, although it makes complete sense. After lots and lots of reading I realized that my liver was ultimately the culprit, coupled with low body fat percentage. I began incorporating avocado, coconut oil/butter, nut butters, etc into every meal and doing various detox/liver cleanses in effort to revitalize my liver. I can’t tell you the difference I felt in just 2 weeks. I got my period again, I no longer felt depressed, I wasn’t experiencing extreme mood swings, I didn’t feel as tired all the time…I was amazed. 6 months later and I feel great! Still working on keeping myself on track and keeping my liver healthy but I feel confident that I have overcome my health issues for the most part. so THANK YOU! so, incredibly much.

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Wow Meghan, thank you so much for coming back here and posting this follow-up. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear that I may have really helped someone who was otherwise as lost as I’d been. It’s the greatest thing I could here and one of the main reasons I decided to tell my story. Thank you!!!

  • Sillama

    You’ve really served us very well by telling what happened to you. I SO appreciate your frankness and thorough description of the whole situation and your progress back to health! Thank you!

  • Stephanie Pearce

    Hello Agacz..I was reading through these comments, when up came yours..very similar to my life for many years..I have gone back and forth between vegan/vegetarian for the last 15 years now, after being diagnosed with (among other things) IBS. extreme fatigue,depression,painful body everywhere..just about anything you can think of, I had it. Then 6 months ago my daughter was found to be gluten intolerant, and I started to investigate the whole wheat thing…I found we shouldn’t actually be eating it at all except for an ancient grain called Eikhorn as it has been altered so much that our bodies cannot deal with it(also pasteurised dairy etc)..so I gave up wheat. 3 weeks ago now..it is amazing..my IBS has vanished entirely along with many other things like numbness in hands and feet, pain, bloating etc..yesterday I found myself dancing to some old tunes I had loved..amazing..give it a go..I hope it works for you too x

  • Patty Shenker

    While reading this, i kept anticipating that you would stop being vegan or even vegetarian so it was a wonderful surprise to read at the end that you maintained your moral beliefs and actions of veganism and regained your health. This is a very important article that is so human and humane and realistic but still idealistic and spiritual & i hope many many people read it and learn from your struggle. Thank you & enjoy your baby & your health & your life!

  • madonna816

    Inspirational & needed! Thank you SO much! Continued health & blessings to you!!!

  • Grendelica

    I really want to thank you for this post. I am at the moment in the same condition (with a different illness, I have thyroid issues and I am still feeling bad, tired and unhappy all the time). Many around me – including myself at first – are blaming my vegan diet. I also experienced the same feeling of betrayal and rage, but I never stopped being vegan because of the animals. So, you’ve inspired me: I’ll go and see another doctor, because the key element here is that you found someone who understood you and helped you. Thank you for sharing, and I am glad you’re feeling better! It gives me a lot of hope.

  • karen

    This was a great post! And so unlike other posts by “former” vegans who leave being vegan because of failing health but who don’t give the whole story. I really appreciate you posting your story and sticking to veganism! I have read so many stories lately of high raw vegans whose health is failing so they decide to ditch veganism and start eating animals. I know the diet may not be right for everyone, but simply eating meat for day is not going to miraculously cure your ills like so many former vegans have claimed. It’s so great that you stuck to your “guns” and beliefs to help show that you can stay vegan and get beter.

    Even many of the early proponents of a high raw or all raw diet have changed their thinking and started incorporating cooked vegan foods. Viva le beans and tempeh is right! So glad you are feeling better and your health is on the rise.

  • mike

    Can you give some examples of these societies that derived most of their calories from plants?

  • disqus_tP9XtpeUcH

    How does eating an unfertilized egg harm any animal. You have a politically correct eating disorder that sounds like religious zealotry. I feel bad for your kids. They don’t have a choice and that might harm them.

  • Ann

    Excellent post! I tried eating low fat vegan and could never stick to it more than a few months! When I finally tried Dr. Fuhrman’s vegan plan this year, with a lot of protein and daily nuts and seeds and plant fats (guacamole!!! yeah!) I suddenly felt wonderful, thirty excess pounds that I couldn’t lose no matter how low fat I went just dropped off, and my dry skin quit cracking! I would strongly recommend anyone who is struggling with veganism take a look at putting more plant fat in the diet – and I’m so glad to hear you are feeling better!

  • Cathy

    Brilliant post. So glad you’re feeling better x

  • sugar

    Im more flabbergasted by the comparison! Interned, starving, Auschwitz Jew stripped of all property, choices and meaning =privileged, statement making, Portland vegan who got sick and run down post-partum, wouldnt listen to western drs, her dr daddy, or visit a naturopath because her insurance wouldnt cover it.

  • Sofie

    Thank you so much for this post and for informing about seed cycling! I hadn’t had a period for 10 months, the doctor said I was pre-menopausal, and my oestrogen levels were low, but after 6 weeks of seed cycling I suddenly got my period again, right on time at the new moon! Amazing!!

  • Sofie

    By the way, should add that I’m 39 years old, been a vegan for 1,5 years.

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    That is amazing Sofie! Thank you so much for sharing, I love hearing stories like that!

  • Vibeke Kale Vale

    Hi. This post was recommended to me by a reader on Facebook. I have low B12 and low iron and my normally vegan supportive naturopath recommended I start eating animal foods to boost my intake. So I ate eggs from an Amish farm, organic chicken and some organic beef. A few times each, but my heart bleeds for the animals and my brain screams at the hypocrisy. I run a vegan catering/personal chef business, I regularly post about animal rights and the health benefits of a vegan diet. I follow the same people you do and I know the dialogue. I am trying to find a solution to my problems that does not include compromising my morals as a plant-based eater. I’d like to return to my egg, dairy, and meat free existence as a whole person with excellent health. I’m on that journey now.

    I have not had a period in eight months, I am only 44. In the previous four years I’ve had maybe eight periods, so I know where you’re coming from. Definitely suffer from liver issues too.

    Thank you for writing this post. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone.

  • Anna Chek

    I have just started trying to be a vegetarian. I am from Portland Oregon, lived there for over 40 years, and recently moved to Paris, France. Believe me, the affordable food here holds no candle, none, to Portland! I see Dr. Jesse Butler ND in Milwaukie OR. I, too, cried at my intake. Not sure if I will make it to veganism, I hope so. I do wonder about the lovely little eggs your rescued hens produce. What happens to them? I bought my eggs from my hair colorist’s mom, who lives in Molalla, and those hens are spoiled free-range babes! So I still eat eggs and butter. It’s a process, and I’ve only recently begun. Dr. Butler, too, had me on the seeds, etc. cycle, even though I am post-menopausal. My MD told me that even after menopause, our bodily hormones still cycle monthly, just as it did pre-menopause. Thank you for your honesty.

  • Fred

    These are the Hunza people, they eat very little animal products, yet they live to their hundreds. http://www.ionmicrowater.com/info/Hunza.aspx
    http://www.alongerhealthylife.com/longevity-village/hunza-pakistan-longevity-hotspot/what-hunza-people-eat-longevity/

    Here is a link to trligious societies that are mostly plant basedhttp://veganismisthefuture.com/veganculture/

    20%–42% of Indians are vegetarians, they also have a history of buddism with many traditional dishes made without animal products(with the exception of dairy and egg). Also those who do eat meat, eat it infrequently.

  • ecobutterfly

    Thank you for your post and letting people know what you went through. I am a Vegan. I have been for 8 years now. I went Vegan because of my health. I started to get thyroid issues like many paternal relatives, including my younger sister. She not only developed thyroid disease, but thyroid cancer as well, which is very rare. My testing was showing the same signs and I was determined not to go down without a fight. I got better fairly quickly. I also started to feel better all the way around. Before going Vegan I would ask my doctor if having a bowel movement every 5 days was normal and he would say yes. I never believed this even though I didn’t know any better. Within the last two years I was getting sick. I didn’t know what it was. I always tried to keep up on issues about the Vegan diet and things that could go wrong. What I didn’t realize was how damaging high oxalate foods can be to your body. Different people had different ideas about this so I didn’t really ever pay enough attention. After all, how bad can Kale and spinach be for you? Apparently pretty bad if you are consuming about 1500-2000 mg of oxalates in your average day, every day. I ended up doing a real number on my self, but luckily my kidneys were screaming out for help and I paid attention. I am still detoxing from high levels of oxalates. It isn’t easy, but at least I found the answer. Before I did, and even while I was detoxing I was questioning my Vegan diet, but I believe that is perfectly normal. It can just be more difficult to find the answer. After all, in the world of SAD, people pop a pill with a list of side effects longer than my arm to make them feel better temporarily so they do not have to search for a real answer…. and that is the way that big greedy corporations want it to be. I absolutely refuse to play that game knowing what I know about health and diet.

  • Lin

    Please see Plant-based evidence / paleo diet (all vegan). Many LFRVs are thriving. I know that cooked food causes my skin and hair to be dry, but LFRV including an avocado here and there is optimal. Serum B12 tests can give false positives. See B12d.org.

  • Min

    This is happening to me

    I already eat heaps of coconut oil (when I first came across it, excessively) and consume around 100g of protein a day. But I’m tired all the time, coconut oil gives me a rash when topically applied, my skin is dry and itchy, I have headaches, anxiety and depression daily. I feel spaced out constantly too, which isn’t relieved by food, water or sleep.

    It’s getting worse, I’ve been sick one week on one week off, and a few weeks ago unexplainable hot flushes started. It’s affecting my life terribly. That’s why I started looking for answers…

    Thank you. You have given me so much hope.

  • LisaM

    Thank you for this post!
    I’m not a vegan, or even a vegetarian (yet), but I believe in these lifestyles. I’ve been transitioning for years from an unhealthy omnivore to a pescatarian and hope to make the switch to veganism one day.
    I’ve come across skepticism and challenges to this lifestyle. I was just reading a blog post about someone who transitioned off a vegan diet to cure the ailments of her child, and it worked. She even said that veganism is legit, but it may not be for everyone. Your post has proven to me that there are many cures, and that we don’t have to pick one that goes against our values.

  • Olga Singh

    This post gives me incentive to strive to become a vegan! I was afraid of malnutrition on a vegan diet and this post just gives me hope. Thank you!

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  • Brittany Lane

    Thank you for this post. I’m sitting in my office at work, unable to concentrate because I know how sick I am. I feel awful. I read several articles before yours, all of which were written by people who went back to omnivore. I was so emotionally charged because I felt like I was going to have to make a choice between my health and veganism. I’m going to try the seed cycling and morning/evening protein shakes as well as get off of the refined sugars and processed replacements to see if it will help. I also need to get dark leafy greens in my diet, like today! Thank you again so much for giving me hope that I can recover and remain vegan.

  • nanase

    It is also possible that you get sick and cannot recover, no matter what you do. This happens to vegans and omnivores, it can happen to anyone. It is not always something you do wrong or you did or didn’t eat. I think it is very important to keep that in mind. You did a great job in finding a solution that worked for you. There is, however, no guarantee that this will always work. Health is a gift that everyone will only have for a certain time, if at all, and sometimes it’s not in our hands. I feel like people sometimes forget the fact that we are all mortal and many many things just are beyond our control.

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  • Ryan

    this post also makes me want to cry. i’ve been searching the internet for people who have experienced what i’m going through. i’ve had the fatigue you were mentioning for almost a year now, along with absent or irregular periods any time i am not on the pill, disappearing sex drive (which makes so much sense if it’s linked to cholesterol and i’m not getting any), the mood swings, the multiple doctors saying it’s nothing. i did have my blood tested and everything came back normal except my vitamin d, but even after increasing it, i haven’t felt any changes. my mother has been telling me to go to homeopathy but i’ve just been putting it off due to insurance as well. but i feel so much better, and so hopeful after reading this, i’m going to start calling around today.

    thank you so so so much for your amazing story!

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  • Lu

    I really don’t understand why her “privilege” has to be brought up- other than it being a liberal-fanatic buzzword used to shame people.

  • kipani

    You have given me something to look forward to. I will continue on my journey to figure out my perfect balance. Thank you for taking the time to share. Sharing your experience is making a difference, one reader at a time.

  • erin

    Amazing post. thank you for sharing! I have a question about the seed cycling. As my period isn’t regular, I don’t know what day of my cycle I’m on and therefore what seeds to eat. How can I start the seed cycling as a result? Thank you! Erin

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Use the moon! Assume the full moon is when you’re menstruating, and start there. That’s what I did and lots of women have success this way. =)

  • Grace M

    Thank you for writing this! You are so brave and inspiring I will share it with my vegan friends.
    Hopefully one day we’ll have more balanced approach for different nutritional needs writhing vegan paradigm :)
    As you said: we are vegan for the animals :)
    Xoxo

  • Alice O’Malley

    this is fantastic! i’m a new vegan (4th week, going well so far) and i have to say i’ve been a little nervous already as to whether or not i’ll end up getting ill or not. I’ve decided that working out whats going on in my body before symptoms hit is the best course of action, so i’ve booked in for blood tests for a few months time. That way I hope to get into a good food routine as quickly as possible. I have to say though, I’ve noticed already that there’s a lot of ripping each other apart in the vegan community. There’s a lot of “you’re either just like us or you’re not in the gang” and i have to say its off putting…everyone needs to approach things in their own way, surely its enough that we all have the same basic morality and passion for the rights of animals? but anyway, i’m rambling. brilliant article. i’m so glad you manage to improve your health without compromising your beliefs. i hope you continue to be happy and well x

  • Rachel Liekhus

    Moral of the story – don’t kill your liver with too much booze. But seriously, I was really impressed that you went through the effort to stay vegan. Most people would have just eaten the eggs and told everyone that the vegan diet is flawed. I am really proud that you stood firm in your convictions and found a way to work within the frame of the vegan lifestyle.

  • Jacinda

    Thank you so much for posting this. I’m so sorry to hear that time you were told all that nonsense. I know how you feel too. I’ve had some issues I’ve worked out but still have a few I’m wondering about.

    Just like any human we all get sick. We just have to do our diets the best we can. I mean, I am right there with you doing this for the animals. All the other pluses come on top of keeping the animals safe.

    I know we all have times where we just don’t realize we’re not getting what we need to be getting. I’ve had a vitamin d deficiency and low iodine levels and got that back to normal too.

    Anyway, thanks for writing about this. I am glad you’re better!

    Cheers,
    Jacinda

  • Anya

    I’m 13 (vegan) and my parents are showing me a bunch of scary articles about vegan teens dying and parents getting arrested for letting them be vegan. I’m really scared because I have a lot of health issues (not sure if they are related to veganism) and I am in a lot of pain every day. Should I just become vegetarian until I finish growing or should I try as hard as I can to stay vegan if it means lots of fights with parents and possible permanent damage to my body… please help I don’t know what to do

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Hi Anya,

    I’m sorry you are in such a difficult situation. It is hard enough to be vegan, but it must be terribly difficult when you are a dependent minor and living with unsupportive parents. I understand your conviction to remain vegan and that is amazing – a beautiful thing. But remember that your health is the most important thing, especially at the age you are right now. Please see a doctor who is familiar with vegan nutrition, or contact a vegan dietician. They will be able to help you determine if your illness/pain is related to diet, or if it’s something entirely separate. Either way, if you are sick/in pain, you need to get help to feel better! You can search this website for vegan-friendly doctors in your area – http://www.vegdocs.com/

    If you can’t find a local doctor who can help you, I really urge you to contact a vegan RD online. They will be able to advise you in a way that I am not qualified to, and I’m certain they would be willing to help you free of charge. Here are a few great vegan RDs, I can vouch for all of them –

    Ginny Messina http://www.theveganrd.com/

    Jack Norris http://jacknorrisrd.com/

    Matt Ruscigno http://truelovehealth.com/

    Good luck sweetie. Please do get some professional help – you deserve it!

  • Ana

    I appreciated your story. Thanks.

  • Anya

    hi… thanks so much, my parents are making me take pills with gelatin but I just cut off the gelatin outside and pour the contents in a shake, they seem to be helping. I have a very bad jaw and knee problem too so that may also be a cause of all the pain but i am supposed to get surgery for my jaw soon and i am doing physical therapy exercises for my knees (I also am constantly on pain meds). I will show the people you mentioned to my parents and I hope they listen because although they are ok with it me being vegan they want me to have the healthiest and most normal life possible (and they think this is only possible with animal products) which I understand but i don’t think they realize how important this is to me. Once again thank you for taking the time to help, it really means a lot

  • Danielle

    Hi! Great article. :)
    I have started seed cycling, but I can’t find a place with enough information out there to ask questions. Since in the first two weeks you take pumpkin and flax for omega-3, and the next two weeks sunflower and sesame for omega-6, are you able to add in other things like chia or hemp? will that upset the balance since I know chia is good for omega 3 and hemp 3 and 6?
    The other thing I wonder is if it okay to get that much omega 6 for two full weeks with the sesame, sunflower and EPO supplements? I know everywhere you look drs and articles everywhere talk of the importance of omega-3, partially because we already consume so much omega 6 in our diets without trying. I hope you have some insight since it worked for you and I am not quite ready to give up on it. Thanks!

  • Ernest Fultz

    In all honesty when a vegan dies do you really think the worms question the morality of eating them? Its a cycle of life thing. truth be told you weren’t doing it for the Animals. You just didn’t want to be wrong lol. After reading your article seems to me you put your health at risk and your baby mother health at risk because you didn’t want to go a simpler route. I don’t think you’d be here to write this article if your plan would have failed. Because in all honesty you got pride issues not vegan issues or none vegan issue. Birds eat worms, Lions eat gazzels, Fish eat smaller bugs. Bugs and worms eat us. You would think that just because of how you fill about something it makes it true. Hello reality check.

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    I take a DHA supplement and eat chia pretty regularly. For me, I just added the seeds but didn’t adjust the rest of my diet to coordinate with the seed cycle. And that worked for me! I’d say try it the east way first, just adding the seeds, and see if that does it.

    I didn’t use the EPO because of the omega 6 issue. I just did the seed part and like I said, that was enough for me!

  • Jackfruit

    Your post is very interesting. But I have some question to ask you…

    If you have had such health crisis being vegan and knowing that you’re a scientist… How can you continue to have an so unnatural food diet? Think about people who work 12h a day in maquiladoras for example. Have they sufficient time and nutrition knowledges to have the same diet? Does it mean that your ethical view based diet is only for rich and educated people? Are poor people cruel by nature? There are no vegan tribes. So, are indigenous people who live in the Amazon a bunch of cruel people? And what about the possible medical issues like osteoporosis you may will have in few decades?

    There is no evidence that links meat consumption in a balanced diet between an increase of non-communicable-diseases most recent studies say. Humans have been eating meat for more than 2 Millions years. Our digestive tract is not one of obligatory herbivores. Meat consumption aided us as human to have higher encephalization and better physical growth.

  • Ilse Singer

    Thank you so very much for writing this. I too faced an inexplicable health crisis with an undiagnosable set of auto immune like symptoms, that came on overnight and without any linkable cause, for over a year. There were days I couldnt leave the house and it landed me in the hospital on mega doses of steroids on several occasions. Everyone said, “but your a vegan, your supposed to be so healthy” (eager of course, to find proof that vegan “doesn’t work”) My acupuncturist, my allergist, my doctor, ..all suggested meat. It took a while but I finally made the connection, in my deepest place of knowing, that the years of being a nightclub bartender and consuming copious amounts of ..damaging substances (all the while eating tempeh and rice), as well as leading an extremely high stress life, had left my endocrine system and liver in need of deep healing. I went from a very clean vegan diet, to a healing vegan diet. And thankfully, my body responded. Thank you again, this piece is very important.

  • Jack in Maryland

    Hi, Sayward – guess Im abit late to the conversation, but I must say I found your personal journey very helpful and enlightening. Ive been veg for about a year, and am currently reseraching whether going vegan would be a good next step for me.

    Overall, my biggest takeaway from your story (and other readings) is that healthy veganism is only possible with very careful attention to diet, and by taking supplements. Which, in turn, makes me think it strays to far from our inherent nature as omnivores. I mean, if our health suffers unless we follow a strict carefully planned diet and take supplements, how can it be a moral imperative to live only from plant products? Please dont misunderstand – I applaud the vegan ethical ideal. Im just concerned over its viability – at least, in my own view.

    As an alternative, I wonder why more attention and energy isnt paid to ethically acceptable eggs and dairy? Perhaps, ascribing to Vedic practices, which forswears slaughter and preserves natural environments (and love and respect) for the creatures? There’s a farm like that, run by Hare Krishnas, in the UK. Im currently researching similar sources in the US.
    Any thoughts on this?