Hello my Dears,
It’s good to be back, and I apologize for being gone so long. I hadn’t intended such an extended stay away, but sometimes life is unpredictable like that, you know? I hope you all had a magnificent holiday season, whatever it may have entailed.
Damian and I had lovely holidays (we celebrate Chanukah, Solstice, and Christmas, with various people) but it was not what we’d imagined. We had planned a long trip back to our home town – a whirlwind of visits and celebrations and merry making – but we ended up camped out on our big red couch instead.
On December 15th, at exactly 28 weeks pregnant, I began exhibiting some strange symptoms. Damian and I called the midwives and they had us come in immediately. After a day and a half of ultra-sounding, fetal monitoring, peeing into cups, bleeding into tubes, poking, prodding, and stirrup riding, I was told that I was exhibiting strong signs of potential preterm labor. I was put on complete bed rest, transfered to the care of an OB, and our holiday homecoming was canceled.
It was very frightening and I needed to take some time away from everything. Being such a logician, it was difficult for me to accept the answer, “We don’t know why.” I’m at risk for preterm labor because my cervix is too short, but why is my cervix too short!? No one knows. Apparently, very little is understood about preterm labor.
[ Just in case you were wondering (and I'm surprised how many have), this has nothing to do with veganism. And even though I knew that, I asked my doctor about it. He laughed in my face. Seriously. So yeah, this is not about diet. At all. ]
For the past week and a half we’ve been living a different life. I’ve had to quell my Hyper Productivity Disorder™ in a major way, and Damian’s had to pick up all my slack around the house. He has blown my mind with his support and his strength and in the midst of such a fearful situation, I can’t help but feel incredibly lucky.
So we’ve worked out the kinks and life is running somewhat smoothly again. I’m able to work from bed (or couch), but I’m mainly focused on eliminating stress, relaxing, and slowing down. My big internal hurdle of the last year or so has been around reconciling stillness. So, I’ve been joking, perhaps this is my final exam.
Our baby boy is absolutely amazing. He is measuring nice and big, healthy with a strong heartbeat and the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. He flips and kicks all the time, as if to reassure me that everything’s okay.
I feel physically better each day. I’m very optimistic that everything will be okay. My doctor agrees. He is a wonderful man, but when I reach 35 weeks I’ll be thrilled to transfer back to my midwives.
I continue to learn through this. I am humbled and I am grateful. My marriage has been tested and only strengthens; Damian and I are such an exquisite team. I almost can’t wait to begin this family of ours, but really . . . I can wait. At least another 8 weeks or so. =)
Lots of Love to all of you, and thank you for your support and your patience.
*** All photos of me were taken at 29 weeks 2 days, by Damian Rebhal ***