The Weekend Send-Off

July 25th, 2013 - filed under: Furthermore » Feedback

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Hellooooo Friday! All I have to say is: “WHEW!” It’s been a long week, er, well, 10 days. Damian’s been away and oh-so-coincidentally, his trip coincided perfectly with our preschool’s “summer break”. So yes, it was a long and wild week/s for me.

I’m glad it’s the weekend. I’m glad to have made it through this period relatively unscathed, and I’m already missing my baby boy like crazy. Parenthood is such a trip.


So here’s something.

I’m going to take a week off from blogging. Or maybe two? I’m chewing on some big thoughts, thinking about some big life changes, and I feel like I need to make the space for that. This past year/year and half has brought so much transition into my life. I’ve grown a lot and the thing is, I’m just not the same person I was when I started this blog – when I was blogging the first time around.

And although I like myself better – love my life so much more now than I ever did before – I’m no longer sure exactly where this blog fits into the picture. Anyway, I just need to take a step back and figure some stuff out. I’ll be back soon enough.


And now I leave you, for my brief hiatus, with this happiest of notes -

Le Love List!

this week somebody did something for me that was so kind and selfless, so incredibly helpful, so completely changed the way that I was able to experience my week, that I’m still sort of reeling. I’m not used to that. I’m . . . thank you. thank you. .|. road trips with Waits .|. laughing with Waits, the way his eyes light up so bright and lock on mine .|. developing my wine palate .|. a heart-to-heart with my uncle, about my future, and letting his perspective which was off-putting at first, sink in a little bit and begin to take root. it’s good to gain another perspective .|. when being called out/criticized can make you re-evaluate. being willing to hear things that hurt because they’re maybe partly true .|. working to exhaustion, past exhaustion, but getting everything done so that I can actually really enjoy the down time .|. introductions that go so well, better than I could have hoped .|. hearing my neighbor playing live music outside in the warm evenings .|. clarity. conceptualizing a new future. you’ll know when you stumble on the right path, because you’ll want to begin to walk it as soon as you possibly can .|. my granny is so beautiful with her long white hair and bright red lips .|. meeting Bonzai readers, I still get nervous and flustered but it’s always such a pleasure to connect .|. *sigh* what to say? this week was big, full of big feelings on both sides of the emotional spectrum. this year has been a roller coaster. so much of the time I just feel like I’m flailing. or failing. I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life half the time, but I think I’m getting closer. and despite the confusion . . . well honestly, I’m just so grateful to be where I am now instead of where I was before . . .


Alright guys, now it’s your turn – let me know what you’re loving this week!

This happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, feel free to just introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!

Have a great weekend, and an even better week, my dears. I’ll catch up with you in August!

  • Lynn

    Have a wonderful week! I hope you find lots of clarity :)
    Love List!
    -A lovely night out with the girls, drink, snacks and a hilarious show!
    - Find out a friend is coming to visit next weekend :)
    -Great Book Club Meeting earlier in the week :)
    -My first night off in weeks, actually being able to sit down on my couch and watch a favorite tv show :)
    -Lovely romantic dinner with my husband :)

  • WookieWifey

    This may be the most random thing to post here, but THANK YOU for trusting and not underestimating your child!!! I see so many toddlers with water wings AFTER swimming lessons and it gets under my skin that people underestimate their children so much or just can’t be bothered to stay close enough to them instead of the wings if they are nervous (and in so many other things too). I had swimming lessons from right before I could walk and could swim as good as any adult when I could just barely talk. One of my earliest memories is an aunt trying to put water wings on me and me freaking out on her crying that I didn’t need them, haha.

  • coconutandberries

    Take all the time you need Sayward :) I can completely appreciate there’s been a lot going on recently, a lot of upheaval, change to process and decisions to make.

  • Christy Milford

    Sending you love, I can identify with the roller coaster-y feelings.

    My list:

    ~five minute thunderstorms & a baby that isn’t fazed one bit
    ~being immersed in local art & music
    ~super garlicky pesto
    ~discovering how much closer my husband and i can get, even after six years
    ~vegetarian sushi & surprise desserts with friends
    ~de-cluttering the house and the peace that comes from that
    ~my litte Ganesha statue holding it down in the kitchen window
    ~tears of release

  • Bianca-Vegan Crunk

    It’s totally selfish of me, but I hope you keep blogging ’cause I’ll miss you when you’re gone. :-) But you gotta do what feels right for you.

    - knowing that my daddy came through a big surgery okay this week
    - the love of family!!!
    - attending Memphis’ first Death Cafe and learning to be a little more comfy with the idea of passing (or with the idea of loved ones passing one day). – sounds totally morbid, but it was very inspiring!

  • Sara Howe

    I just got done studying for the MCAT and I’m excited to catch up on the past blog posts that I missed so I’m sorry to being on a hiatus! I hope you are well Sayward. Have a good vacay :) I’ve had a lot of big emotions these past few weeks, too. Certainly many were stress-induced but I know the feeling.

    Having time to cook again!
    The success that is my vegetable garden.

    Snuggling with my puppy.

    Being really silly with the little kids in my life.
    Sunset runs in the woods.

    Going to an old-school speakeasy, in a back alley, with a password and everything and swing dancing! So incredibly rad.

  • bitt

    it’s been emotional and tough week for a lot of people I know. something is going on bigger than us I think. I have to trust in that.
    blogging itself is different than a few years ago, times have changed, people are re-thinking privacy, etc.
    I am sure you will find a positive way to impact the world no matter your status on here.

  • Cathy

    Hi I totally found your blog by accident while lookin up how
    to make seed pots out of newspaper! I was totally hooked and
    I am not a vegan! I just loved reading about you and I missed you
    when you took your breaks but so happy when you came back!
    I just think you are so interesting! And because of you I have tried
    green juice and overnight oatmeal just for health reasons! And I like
    both very much and love experimenting with the recipes. So thank
    you for allowing me into your world! Have a good break and look
    forward to your return!

  • Taylor

    Have a good week or two. We all need space sometimes. I appreciate you for expressing that!
    This week I am loving:
    2-hour Skype conversations with my boyfriend (we’ve been in a long-distance thing for about 6 months now. I miss him dearly.); NPR; home cookin’; my friends!!!!; rain, rain, and more rain!; being sorta lazy; dream analysis; Ryan Gosling; meaningful conversations.
    Hope all is well!

  • Kylie

    It has been a week of reevaluation for sure. I wish you luck in your soul searching!

    This week I’m happy for sweet dog snuggles and movers.

  • Rebecca

    I sort of feel the same way about kids and water wings/swimming aids…parents def. need to stay NEAR their children and be very aware. Water wings (we call them floaties) give both the parent and the child a false sense of security.

    That being said, I recently heard about “dry drowning” and it absolutely terrified me! So now I feel that any extra safety measure is worth it in my eyes….oy…such a process finding the right balance of safety and just livin’ life. : )

  • Rebecca

    Thought I’d pop my head out of the lurking woodwork today.

    Always a bit sad to see when there’s a hiatus (your website is one of my first internet visit of the day!) but I think *everyone* in the Bonzai community always fully supports any breaks or re-thinks of the blog and how it fits in.

    Man…crazy year all around it seems. I, too, am in transition. Hard to say if I’m in a better place than last year or not. Strange, I know. In some ways MUCH better…but I’m not exactly in a comfortable situation right now so things are always simmering at a fairly tense level.

    So, let’s ramp up this positivity-train a bit:
    1. Being able to quickly get off the highway and have someone take over driving when I was about to have a panic attack (driving anxiety…blahhhh…such a hard one to tackle).
    2. Finally making a BIG and I mean *BIG* life decision. Still might be a year or two off and I honestly have no idea how it will transpire but I’ve made the decision to take the leap. So scary…like…soooo scary…but will be completely and totally worth it in the end (man, do I wish I had a crystal ball to see how I’ll pull this life change off!)
    3. Noticing synchronicities.
    4. Having the ENTIRE house to myself (except the pup of course!) for a WHOLE week! Starting Sunday…man…will that be nice or what??
    5. My doggie testing negative for Lyme after having had a level of 76 (!) awhile back (Over 30 is considered high and should be treated…76 was a year AFTER she had been treated!) Phew.
    6. Gua-sha. Seriously. Do it. ahhhhmmaaazing. Granted, I still am having good days and bad days but even a slight big of relief is MAJOR for a chronic pain sufferer. (On a not-so-love note: Trying to do it on myself when I couldn’t get to the practitioner—uhhh..bruise much?)
    7. Cleaning. Organizing. It is so funny–all my life I thought I was the “messy” one of our family. I was always labelled as such. Now, as 31-year old, visiting my parents, I realize it wasn’t me! I’m actually pretty darn organized and tidy : )
    8. Finding a new fruit and just having a ball playing with the name for the 2-hour car ride after picking some! Jostaberry! Seriously..say it and see if you don’t light up : )
    9. Heat wave FINALLY breaking. That was a toughie.
    10. Pinterest…this is really a love/hate..but man, what a pleasurable guilty pleasure.
    11. TV shows for the younger set that I still enjoy–still love those teen shows. Need a big of mindless entertainment every once in awhile.
    12. Coconut flour flatbread (that’s inexpensive AND low-cal). Totally addicted.
    13. Finding coconut flour and garbanzo flour for about HALF the price!
    14. New exercise videos that I SWEAR I’m starting tomorrow. The anticipation is half the fun, right?
    15. Minor online shopping. I have always been pretty anti-online shopping. I am not much of a consumer but I prefer the visceral experience of being in a store and seeing, touching, trying on the item. But finally biting the bullet for a few Amazon items has made the past few weeks like Christmas!
    16. Getting a crappy massage. Seriously. Started out with a tip envelope ON THE FACE CRADLE! What a way to start out an hour of relaxation. Went downhill from there…but–then talking with the owner and finding a space that I can rent per hour if I want to treat some clients AND being offered a free massage to make up for this one. Love that. What a sweet person.
    17. Getting 2 drawers for my clothes. Man, I love folding and putting things away vertically so you can just flip through them like a card catalog. So visually pleasing. I am happy each and every time I open the drawer.

    Small things in life, I tell ya. It doesn’t take much : )

  • Awarala

    Oh Lordy – so many of us feeling all of the feelings, huh?

    This week I love:

    – Spending time laughing out loud with my parents. Being older makes that so much easier. And more fun.

    - Going out to a dance by myself to prove that I don’t always have to have a date to have fun. And it turns out I had a blast!

    - Coming back from vacation. As great as tropical paradise can be, the real gift is when you are so excited about starting a new life, you can’t wait to get back :)

    Good luck with everything you are going through and need to go through!

  • Carrie @ Carrieonvegan

    Sayward, coming from a fellow blogger, I have an idea of how much time and energy you must put into your blog. Each post comes off as casually brilliant, but I know there is so much work behind the scenes. I have a feeling that whatever you devote your time to, it will be equally fabulous, inspiring, and effective for what you want to accomplish. I really love your blog so I (selfishly) hope you keep writing it, but I certainly think you’re right to take a step back and think about where you want to devote your passion.

  • Crystal Dicus

    Sayward, only good can come out of taking time to reflect and reassess. I am sure I’m not your only reader inspired by your writings about authenticity, and this is just another example of that. Wishing you clarity in figuring out the future of Bonzai Aphrodite and all your other endeavors!

  • Lindsey

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not leave this blog! I LOVE reading about your life, seeing your pictures, getting advice, etc. I look forward to what you are going to write next. You inspire me daily! I feel like you are my “friend” and because of you, I don’t feel so alone in this crazy un-vegan world, especially now that I have a vegan 18 month old son. Please stay here.

  • Emily

    I’ve stopped by a few times this week totally forgetting that you were taking some time off. You are definitely one of my favorite blogs, so I sure hope you decide to come back! But I also understand the need to step away sometimes and simplify. We probably don’t do that enough.

    Looking forward to having you back.

  • Elizabeth

    Loving that peanut sauce recipe you gave a few weeks ago–noms!!!!

  • Rosan

    What you posted a year ago was what I wanted, what you post now is what I want. I think I’m growing with you :)
    I love meeting up with people and having conscious conversations.