I wish I felt more like I look in that picture up there. But the truth is, guys, it’s been a bitch of a week (month?) (year?) and I’m glad the weekend is finally here.
I’m spread way too thin right now, with way too many commitments and I’m just desperately trying to keep all my balls in the air . . . with limited success. This week, I’ve been completely absent when it comes to answering comments here on the blog, and I’m really sorry about that. I’ll do my best to go back and answer the questions at least, but it may take a while. I’m definitely overwhelmed.
So the thing about me is, I am a pretty damn intense person. I’m driven and I’m practical (perhaps to a fault), so I don’t tend to get caught up in my own emotional experience. I’m not a dweller, or a wallower. I’m more the “put your head down and plough through it” type, which is why, I guess, it’s easier for me to lose perspective. To lose touch with my greater emotional context.
Today I realized that not much more than 6 short months ago, I was living with my husband in Portland. With my husband. Six months ago.
And I thought, “Oh yes, well there’s that!” Sometime (most of the time) I need to remind myself that I am actually in the middle – like, right in the emotional middle – of a divorce. And it’s okay that I can’t keep all my balls in there air, and it’s okay that my house is a mess (all I want for Mother’s Day is a clean bathroom, truly!), and it’s even okay that I’m sort of a total mess.
So I’m trying to remember where I am in the grand emotional scheme of things, and where I’m coming from, instead of always focusing on where I’m going. Gotta go easier on myself, gotta go easier on myself . . .
//end authenticity rant.
Musically, I am still hopelessly stuck on Macklemore. His last album, The Heist, is so amazing and there is more than one song that – I swear – was written for me. Or about me. I mean obviously not, but dang, it resonates so deeply. So anyway, I think you’ve heard enough Macklemore from me, but I don’t have any other music to offer this week.
So I thought I’d share this video instead. Waits and I made it as part of a contest over at Vegan Cuts. We’ve been getting our Vegan Cuts snack box for a couple of months now, and Waits gets SO excited when the package arrives.
This is our “unboxing” video – hope you enjoy! (I am not affiliated with Vegan Cuts in any way, and I pay each month for my snack box)
Alright, I’m going to try to shake off this funk and muster my gratitude for . . .
Le Love List!
1. Focusing on what’s important.
Waits is happy, and he is healthy, and he is whip smart to boot. And all that “spirit” which makes him so hard to parent, well, that difficulty is nothing in the face of those three things. He is happy, and he is healthy, and he is smart. I am so thankful for that. A gift.
2. Art projects with Waits.
We made his daddy a big birthday card covered in crayon, paper scraps, and glitter. Waits isn’t usually into art (he’s a much more musically-minded fellow), so it was a real treat to sit together and complete a project, start to finish. A treasure.
3. Waits, throwing his arms around my neck and squeezing tight.
Yes, all three are about Waits this week. I guess when you’re down in the dumps, you can clearly see the thing that shines the brightest.
My baby boy and I, well it can be tough for us (we’re both spirited, see). But when he runs at me and throws his arms around my neck and squeals “I love you mama!” . . . well, that washes it all away, in that brief beautiful moment. A blessing.
Alright guys, now it’s your turn – let me know what you’re loving this week!
This happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, feel free to just introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!
Hope it’s warming up where you are. Have a great weekend!