Hey, How Ya Been?

February 4th, 2013 - filed under: The Farm » Family

Alrighty, time to play catch-up! And my friends, we have a LOT of ground to cover. So if you’ll forgive my hasty hello, let’s just dive on in to 2012, shall we? Starting from the beginning . . .

On the first day of February in 2012, I announced my sabbatical from blogging. Well honestly, at the time I wasn’t sure exactly what it was. But now, almost exactly one year later, I think “sabbatical” is fairly accurate.

sabbatical year
1. Also called sabbatical leave; a year of release from normal duties, as for study or travel.

Yes, I think that’s just the right word. Here’s what happened next . . .

Winter in P-town is pretty bitter, but you do what you gotta do to get outside. February saw lots of playdates with our best pals, all scarlet noses and frozen knuckles:

And to be honest, February was really tough. Winter is so draining on the psyche. I was desperately trying to de-stress (oxymoron?). I was very sick, still with no clue what was going on. I had just quit blogging, something that I truly loved, in pursuit of answers and maybe some peace.

I knew that I needed to cut out all the extraneous stressors, all the unnecessary obligations. Bring everything down to the bare minimum. Start from scratch. Rebuild.

Paring down seems like a simple ambition, but it’s much more difficult in practice. I knew that things needed to change – really change – but I was so caught up in my routine. That routine had kept me anchored through the chaos of my over-ambition, but now it was only weighing me down. I would get to the end of each day, determined to get some work done in the quiet of night; clean out my inbox and tie up loose ends, so that I could really start fresh.

But instead I would just eff off. Every. Single. Night. In February I watched tv and surfed the web, crocheted a rag rug out of old sheets, and generally ignored the main cause of my stress (all those little loose ends). In retrospect I think I just really, really needed to decompress, but at the time it was frustrating because I still had that constant nagging anxiety of unfinished business.

This was a happy thrifting coincidence.

But mostly, life ambled on. Waits continued to be delightfully adorable and fantastically awesome. Early in the month he discovered chlorella tablets.

Monster mouth! He’s a little obsessed. Super healthy, sooooorta messy.

And finally, I found some time to dye my hairs! In progress:

And finished:

At the end of the month I got to see my very favorite satyrical lady rapper Leslie Hall perform live – and in the company of the fabulous Miss Kittee, no less. It was only my second night out on the town since Waits was born, and man, I needed it!

But like I said, mostly February was sort of a limbo: wanting to settle down and simplify // feeling restless and unsettled and unsure of what to do. Yeah, winter can be bitter in Portland.

At least I had this guy to keeping me smiling . . .

March coming soon . . .

  • Anonymous

    OH MY GOODNESS! Seyward I am SO SO SO very glad to see you back and posting. I didn’t remove you from my blog reading list in hopes that one day Bonzai Aphrodite would resurface.
    Wait is just as beautiful as ever and I hope that you are feeling better. Welcome back and I cannot wait for future posts.

  • Anonymous

    Sorry in my excitement I spelled your name wrong…my apologies :)

  • Bianca

    So glad you’re back! Your blog has long been one of my faves!!

  • http://chewonthisvegan.tumblr.com/ Monika {windycityvegan}

    Love all the pictures of Waits, especially the one of him sleeping. And that you include chrocheting a rag rug out of old sheets a way of effing off. For me, that would be an integral part of destressing!

  • Tenise Rae

    This is fan-freaking-tastic!! I’m so glad you’re doing this!! I’ve been meaning to email and ask a few questions. Looks like your ‘year in review’ posts might just answer them. :)

  • http://twitter.com/fridgescrapings Lou

    Waits is such a groover – love the chlorella munching :) So nice to have you back posting again!

  • Caitlin

    SO happy you’re back! Your blog has always been my favorite, and I’ve missed it so much!

  • Kim

    I completely agree about winter being tough! I am trying to slog through right now. I hate getting out of bed everyday, I have no energy, and do not want to do anything. Really wishing I was a bear in hibernation right now.

  • Annie

    Your hair looks great! And Waits is so cute!!

    Random sidenote, I remember reading about seedling mix on here, a mix of perlite and peat moss. We were doing a similar thing, but through some reading, found out the peat moss is a bit environmentally iffy. Apparently coconut fibre (known as coir) works just as well is and is more sustainable (which makes sense, given that it’s kind of a waste product otherwise, except for upholstery stuffing and hanging basket linings) . We’ve been using it with great results. You can get it in compressed blocks, and you just wet it down in a wheelbarrow until it’s a mussy kinda coarse soil-looking mess.
    Anyway, just thought i’d share :)

  • G

    Thank you for coming back to blogging and gifting us with these absolutely adorable pictures of Waits! A baby who drinks green juice AND munches on chlorella tablets? Dyyying from cuteness overload!

  • andrea

    Waits is so cute :))) and fire red is a perfect color for you!

  • Fran@BCDC

    So glad you’re back!!

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Thanks Rachel, it’s soooo great to be back!

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Aw, thank you Bianca!

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    That rag rug was super fun, definitely made for some great down time. =)

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Yes, hopefully all will be answered. But if not, of course there’s always email. =)

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    yeah, he’s pretty much the coolest! And it’s great to be posting again!

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Thanks Caitlin, I’ve missed it too. ;-)

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Ugh, I hear you, it really is the worst. I’m sorry, but you just gotta keep in mind that IT WILL END. And eat lots of oranges and take extra vitamin D. Have you ever tried a happy light?

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Thanks for the info Annie! I’ve heard of problems with pet moss but never looked into it. I’ll definitely check out the coir – all the more reason to heart coconuts!

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Haha, thanks G. He is pretty darn groovy, that one. ;-)

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Thanks Andrea!

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    Me too Fran!

  • Annie

    It’s kind of grey, but I guess if you can avoid it easily, why not, if there’s a high possibility it’s not that great for the earth.
    I kind of hate the term ‘super food’ because it’s misleading to the nutritionally ignorant and a horror for globalization and overpricing (note: coconut water at the supermarket etc round here at the moment, 3X pricier than when I used to get it from the thai market last year), but coconuts are amazing.
    I’m coconuts for coconuts!
    … Dad joke for the win.

  • Annie

    Just want to clarify – I’m not being elitist when I say ‘nutritionally ignorant’, I just meant every day folks that don’t really know much about nutrition, and they read “berry/fruit/veggie/coconut water” super food trend stuff, eat heaps (and BUY heaps) of it thinking that it’ll make them into superman and cure their ailments, when too much of anything is a bad thing. I just really despise any massive marketing on any food, especially when it people’s fears about health. Bah, food politics /boring-preachy

  • Nat Smith

    Im beyond excited that youre blogging again. I found so much inspiration, mom ideas and amazing eating habits from you and your blog :) Thanks in advance for all the future blogs :) You got me thinking about getting some blood work done (im almost vegan, so close) and it came back good, except for vitamin D (thanks winter) but anyways, im glad youre feeling better and thank you again :) sending love to you and your family!

  • Scaredofeverything

    First off, I’m really glad that you’re back! Reading this post (and all the others) is awaking a lot of understanding in myself, as I too feel that there has been a shift in my mood since giving birth. That was 2 years ago but I haven’t really felt the same since, especially hormonally. I know most people might find this silly but I feel safe saying it here–Portland in the winter makes me feel like I’m going crazy. Literally. I shift from being placated and okay to being completely miserable. I’m on anti-anxiety meds but they barely help and I cry a lot and rarely have the energy or motivation to do anything productive. I want more children and to give my son a sibling, but I feel like it will suck everything that I have out of me and I don’t know if I can. Sounds melodramatic, I know. I’d love to look into naturopathy. I wish my health insurance covered it, I’d go in a heartbeat. All the doctors have “helped” me with is given me pills. So many pills. And needless to say, it’s hardly even a band-aid. So much to say but basically, I’m really glad you’re back and I’m happy to have the chance to read your life and your words. In all it’s authentic goodness that you rarely get when you read lifestyle blogs. Most lifestyle blogs only make me feel like shit about myself honestly. Too many reminders of what I’m not. Too many reminders of what I am. A lot of it is beautiful fluff, a manufactured life, not really real. I see the lure in them, and they are fun, but they make me feel less than. Thank you for keeping it real and for all the beauty you radiate. You are an inspiration to me. xo

  • http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/ Sayward Rebhal

    I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling, and man – I relate to almost everything you’ve said here. How long have you been in Portland? You know the truth is, my naturopath helped me SO MUCH and got my hormones and health back under control, but the final piece of the puzzle didn’t fall into place until I left Portland. I got out before winter came and I moved back to sunny SoCal, and I think that was absolutely essential to my own version of sustained well-being. I think I’m just not built for the Pacific Northwest, and you know, I’ve talked to SO MANY PEOPLE who say the same thing – some version of “I love Portland, I love everything about the culture and the people and the city, but for some reason I was just never happy there and once I moved everything changed and I didn’t even realize how miserable I really was until I started feeling better, etc etc”. It sucks, but it does seem like P-town just isn’t for everyone. I love that city to death but I am so thankful that I got out when I did. Just food for thought.

    You may want to check in with doctor Lasse in Portland, she is amazing and very willing to work with you and your insurance company or work out of Network at a reasonable price. i don’t know, it may be worth at least checking into.

    Good luck with everything, please keep in touch!

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  • Brandy

    chlorella tablets, bad link.