The Weekend Send-Off

September 30th, 2011 - filed under: Furthermore » Feedback

Oi! Hello there, dearest! HAPPY FRIDAY! Aren’t you glad it’s the weekend? Boy howdy, I sure am. I’m ready for Farmer’s Market and movie night and playing in my garden and mostly, relaxing relaxing relaxing the last of this sickbug away. What are you looking forward to this weekend??


I just wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU to everyone who’s left an Amazon review on The Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide. I keep wanting to respond [on Amazon] with a big sloppy “OMG THANK YOU!!!!1″ for each one of them, but honestly I always think it’s kind of awkward (and tacky) when authors get involved in their Amazon reviews. So I’ve restrained myself there . . . but not here! OMG THANK YOU!!!!1


And now, let’s get with that attitude of gratitude!

Le Love List:

Yeah, ALL of you! Can I just take a moment to tell you all how much I appreciate you? From the frequent commenters who have become my friends, to the silent lurkers who hang back (I know you’re there and I love you too!), I say thank you to ALL of you. Bonzai Aphrodite is a rare little slice of Internet real estate, because it’s always happy here. Comments aren’t ever catty, the drama pot never gets stirred, everyne is helpful and kind and there’s just this general sense of overwhelming positivity. That’s *not* because of me – it’s because of YOU GUYS, and the energy that you all bring. So sincerely, and with all of my heart, thank you.

2. The book Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic
I know I haven’t written about it much, but I’ve had quite my share of struggles as I’ve learned how to be a parent during these last 18 months. I think we all do, but my particular journey has been made the more difficult because 1) I am a type-A control freak, and 2) Waits, as it turns out, is what they call a spirited child. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka coined the term “spirited” (which replaced “hyperactive” and/or “difficult”) and this week, I was finally able to begin reading her book. And just getting into the first few chapters, I’ve already learned so much – about Waits, yes, but also about myself (I was also a spirited child!), and how that affects my own parenting.

I’m reminded of a time when Waits was a brand new baby. I remember looking at him and wondering how I could possible love something so much, and how anything could be so completely perfect. Suddenly, I imagined my own mother, and how she must have looked at me in that exact same way. And for the first time in my entire life, I saw myself through her eyes. Not with my own eyes – my vision obscured by self-criticism and impossible standards – but through the eyes of a mother. I saw my innocent self through the lens of unconditional love. This all happened very suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, and to be honest it left me in tears. But I’ll never forget that feeling.

That moment was an epiphany. It was a precious lesson about the role of perspective in the process of (self)love.

Anyway, reading this book is bringing about similar revelations. It’s helping everything to make sense, and it’s going to make me a better mother. I am just so grateful.

3. Planning holiday projects and presents.
I’m feeling really excited at the anticipation of giving this year, and I can’t wait to get working. What are your favorite homemade holiday gifts?? (Some past projects for reference: vanilla bean sugar, reusable “Java Jackets”, crockpot candles, and homemade tea bags.)

Also! The sun is back and I’m soaking it up, craft night with gin and girlfriends, gin and tonics holy crap I’ve missed you, soaking in baths that are seasoned with amazing Soapwalla scented salts, um – alliteration apparently (always!), that combination of a certain sight and a certain smell that just instantly takes you back to a childhood memory, and oh yeah tomorrow is VEGAN MOFO, yo!


Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!

My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend until tomorrow because it’s MoFo time y’all, and I’ll be POSTING EVERY DAY! But still . . . stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!

You guys are the best. Enjoy your weekend!

  • Catreinhardt

    For some reason I never do love lists, but this week I thought I’d chime in with
    1. Trying new things. A few months ago i metioned that i was super against the idea of fermented things and this month, I tried sat in my fridge a week before I took a sip, but then I just got up the nerve…And surprise…I kinda liked it …and would definitely have it again. So here’s to you and rotted um I mean fermented food. I would never have ever tried it if not for you.

  • Kate

    For the record, I’m a spirited adult.

    1. Philosophy friends. A fresh perspective that reminds you “hey, you should really be happy every day you wake up happy & healthy” is really fucking good for you.
    2. Temps under 100 two days in a row. (FALL! YOU’RE COMING!)
    3. “Wicked” Pandora radio station. Did I *know* that I knew the words to “Zero to Hero” from hercules? Nope. But this station reminded me.

  • Kate

    Also, I bought the book to read with you.

  • Melisa

    I’ve had a HELL of a week as far as parenting goes, so I’m relieved at the cyber-commiseration, and appreciative of the book recommendation.
    1)My hubs, who is smart, and sweet, and sexy (alliteration! yee-haw!), and hilarious, and all around totally wonderful.
    2)Autumn, how I love thee. I cannot WAIT for the pumpkin muffin recipe you mentioned!! I LOVE pumpkin everything, and since this is my first vegan Fall, I need to find new treats to replace the pumpkin pie blizzards and cheap, gas station pumpkin spice cappucinos, which I adored.
    3)Sweet, independent restaurants that make vegan dishes even in places like the midwest. I had an amazing vegan pumpkin risotto Wednesday, and am just so thankful.

  • Sara Ann

    I can’t wait for the post every day and the recipes!!

    My loves list:

    1) Finally getting in charge of my allergies. I can’t wait to be a better me.

    2) Homeade raw cashew cheese! (literally cut my tongue on the food processor, trying to lick it off…so good)

    3) Having my wonderful dog to come home to, even if she is a huge part of reason 1.

    Can’t wait for vegan mofo!

  • cheli

    you know, i have wondered, sayward, about your parenting adventures. i noticed you chose not to share too much. i figured it wasn’t really a parenting blog… but there’s so much “in the matrix” parenting babble out there, it might be nice to hear from someone else now
    also, that s really sweet what you said about the bonzai community. you’re right
    my loves:
    1. my mommy is in the country! she has ugly arthritis, which is limiting, and i wish i could discover somehting to help. but having her around, and watching her w the critters, so lovely
    2. flor is back! we’re dipping into college funds, but it’s so nice to have her stay w my oldest a few hours per week.
    3. and following up on that, having quality time w kittns (bc holding him is like having a bag of kittens in your arms). it s nice to actually spend time with your kid, with your full attention. more like sharing, less like crisis control
    4. booked a weekend family trip to an ecopark, for a families meet-up

  • Zerowastelifestyle

    As a type A control freak, 110% type personality myself, I have also found myself to be the mom of a very oversensitive and very demanding and often impossible daughter, now 9 and I have to agree that the book you mention is filled with revelations. I also highly recommend that book. Have you had any thoughts on sending your son to a Waldorf preschool/school in the future? I really think that the Waldorf approach greatly benefits the spirited child. Unfortunately we have no Waldorf school where we live and we have to work, so my girls are in a regular school, but I supplement a lot with Waldorf home schooling materials/a Waldorf approach at home/seasonal tableaux/ festivals and so on!

    When I think of the approaching winter, I have to say your stash of frozen broccoli comes to mind and makes me smile. What a delightful and practical idea.
    Best wishes

  • Laura Agar Wilson

    Really looking forward to your vegan mofo posts! I’m going to join in too and can’t wait. Things I’m loving this weekend is the return of the sunshine, doing a ‘healthy feast’ aka a little detox but I hate that word! and also finally getting my head around my finances. Hope you have a great one!

  • Kelly

    Ohmygoodness! I ADORE that picture of Waits!! It’s such a sheepish, “what can I say?” sorta look. Priceless!

    I also must say that I love positivity and lack of drama here. It’s so incredibly refreshing and something I’ve been trying to escape in my professional life. Not easy!

    I also love that I’m on vacation starting today. Woohoooo! Going to Burlington, Montreal and MA. Looks like there will be great vegan options for me everywhere I go. Joy!

  • Arianna

    Just so you know, I love your blog and you’re fantastic about updating :)

  • April

    My son’s 2nd grade teacher gifted me ‘Raising Your Spirited Child’ about 6 years ago. (He was labeled as oversensitive with ADHD, but that was 2 years before he was formally diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. ) This is one of those books I can pick up time and time again and find new inspiration because as our kids grow, the game continues to change. There are so many useful parenting tidbits, even for our not-so-spirited kiddos. I am so glad that you are finding it as worthwhile as I do.

    My Love List:

    (1) Celebrating Dylan’s first birthday on Monday. Has it really been a year already????

    (2) Vegan MoFo!!!! I continue to be amazed by the creativity of the vegan blogger community. Totally inspired!!!

    (3) Tom Waits/Cookie Monster Mashup – Dylan is a die hard Sesame Street lover, and giggles his little pants off watching this video. (My hubby is a huge TW fan and he loves it too!)

  • Selina

    I love:
    1.) It’s apple season, oh yes it is!! Right now I have about 25 pounds of apples in my kitchen…
    2.) My second try at growing a SCOBY was a success! I tried once this spring to no avail but I think my kitchen was too cold. But now I have a big jar of fermenting tea wrapped in a towel under the nightstand in my bedroom (my husband is SO grossed out :D)!
    3.) The parenting book rec. from you in this post! My DD is…shall we say, spirited and uber-smart (if I do say so myself), and I struggle with how to “deal” with her a lot of the time. I’m so going to check it out!

  • Kate in SB

    1. Starting a new knitting project, even just a small toy for my cat, just to get back into it. For me, fall is the time I start brainstorming homemade Xmas gift ideas, even if they ever come to fruition, it’s fun to plan and at least attempt.

    2. Seeing my friend still blissed out from her beautiful amazing wedding last weekend!

    3. I was having a not-good week with a lot of oddball small setbacks at work, and then PMS hitting, but somehow I finally took a moment to reflect on what I’ve accomplished in the last year and realized: wow, I’m doing pretty good.

  • Suzy Q

    So I’ve never commented here…but I finally wanted to speak up.
    Firstly, I LOVE your site! While I’m not Vegan, your site has inspired me in so many ways.
    Secondly, I just made those crock pot candles last week and I adore them!!
    Keep being awesome!

  • Meghan

    OH MAN IT IS SUNDAY. I’m not sure how much I was looking forward to this weekend, because I was planning (and have been) spending it working on a presentation for Tuesday. Definitions of music in treatises of antiquity and the early middle ages, wooooooo! Weekends are definitely different when I’m not in student-mode!

    Love list!

    1. The weather. Dude. Yesterday, as if right on schedule (October!) the high for the day was only in the 60s. After a hot, humid summer, and a rainy, humid September, the air felt so… crisp! yesterday! I think being from Oregon allows me to appreciate it more than some other people around here… I didn’t let the drizzle accompanying the crisp air ruin it for me!

    2. Apples and peanut butter.

    3. Lattes. French vanilla soy lattes, in particular. Tastes like a hot vanilla ice cream cone!

  • Meghan

    I’ve been making my own pumpkin spice lattes lately! I don’t have an espresso machine, so mine are made of French press coffee… to that I add an immersion blender whirred (for to make foam) warm soy milk, canned pumpkin, pumpkin pie spice, and sugar. So good! Also, if you buy the canned pumpkin pie filling (rather than just canned pumpkin) it is even easier since it comes pre spiced/sweetened.

    (I use about a cup of coffee and a cup of milk, with anywhere from 2 tbspn to 1/4 cup of pumpkin, depending on my mood. Sweetener and spices to taste)

  • Alexander Samons

    1. The guided imagery stuff we’re doing in stress management class. Most of this stuff doesn’t really work for me because I get distracted by random (usually history or food related) things. (meditate, meditate, when was Mansa Musa born?, meditate, which one was Henry VIII’s third wife, meditate, meditate, what’s for dinner?) But this one is interesting enough to keep my attention on it.
    2. My anthropology teacher’s accent. She’s originally from Romanian and I just found out that Romanian accents are awesome, how I could listen to Romanian music and not notice that is beyond me…
    3. Vegan MoFo! I was so excited leading up to this, I don’t remember what year it was but I’m pretty sure I found your blog during it and I love looking at food so, yay! (Now, if only The GVC would make a crazy Vegan Mofo 2011 comeback thing, that’d be awesome.)
    4. Another one because I’m in a really good mood right now. I just found out that when I transfer to a different school my English class will transfer (and get rid of my degree’s writing requirement), my math will transfer (and I can take one more and then I’ll be able to start straight into the required math course), and my anthropology class will transfer as one of my core major classes. YAY!

  • erosan

    1. Finally nailed the Dragon’s beard candy-making. First attempt was a misserable failure, but yesterday’s 2nd batch came out alright, and the 3rd one was pretty decent (although far from perfect, I’m happy with the results). Thread count: 8,192.'s+beard&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&biw=1041&bih=466

    2. Pumpking pie. Enough said.

    3. Bad night’s sleep, but feeling rested.

  • kristen

    i stumbled on your site when i was having an epiphany-less experience doing the master cleanse. i credited it to being vegan, and did a little interwebs search and…voila! here i am. completely enamored with your little slice of cyber-space heaven. you commented that this is due to your readers, and that may be, but credit where credit is due…you have a wonderful energy that is rather infectious. just wanted to let you know you are my go-to! oh, and that piece about seeing yourself through your mother’s eyes is beautiful…thanks for sharing!