Earlier this week I had an experience with a new friend. A liberal fellow, I guess you could say, and he just casually – albeit a bit awkwardly – made a comment to me that could only be taken as, well . . . as racist. But not the white hoods and burning crosses-variety racism, of course not that. It was the more everyday, covert, subtextual, micro-aggressive kind of racism that’s somehow okay to share? I guess? Like, with other white people?
And it sent me in to a tailspin. Look, I know that I’m about as radically progressive as a person can get, and usually I’m okay with that. Usually I’m strong. But every once in a while, maybe when I’m feeling fragile (I was this week – school starting and all that), the weight of my differences from everyone around me can seem just . . . crushing.
Isolating. And on this morning, after that comment and after I was back home and thinking about my belief system and how it compares to the belief systems that I see and feel reflected back at me daily, I just felt so completely alone. Do you ever feel like that? Like a radical atheist feminist socialist vegan freak.
But instead of wallowing (I did a bit – thank you to the Twitterverse for your love and support, you are AWESOME) I did something I don’t normally do.
I reached out.
I texted a mama friend and said this : Hello! I am feeling super isolated and like the only radically progressive person on the planet. Would love to have a play date if you have any time? It would be nice to connect with a fellow liberal looney.
And do you know what she did? She stepped up. BIG. She invited all of her craziest, crunchiest friends over, and we had a potluck dinner that night, and we all gathered – 5 fearsome females, all of us single moms, with our many wild and wonderful offspring – and we ate and we drank, and we were merry amongst our beautiful bohemian selves, gathering in celebration of our unconventional families and our nontraditional choices and our radical, revolutionary beliefs.
And I mean, do I even need to write a Love List now? Needless to say, it was exactly what I needed.
It was a good reminder for me, too. About being willing to reach out when I needed help. About being okay showing vulnerability. And about leaning on the people who care about me. All of them incredibly difficult for me to do, and all of them so very important.
And because there’s never enough love, let’s list some more! Le Love List:
Trying to garden with a reluctant 4-year-old. We needed to sow the buckwheat cover crop, which luckly only requires a 1/8-1/4 inch seed depth. So, we each took fistfulls of seeds and flung them in to the bed, and then we danced around on top to work them down. Hey man, a mama’s gotta do whatever works, right? // Being back home in my beautiful Santa Barbara. // This article on the ridiculous rental market in my beautiful Santa Barbara, which is depressing but also makes me feel better because geeze, it’s not just me. *Nobody* can afford this shit. // This video, a “Ray Rice-Inspired Makeup Tutorial” . . . actually, this is so good I’m embedding it:
// Self care (dry brushing + lots of green juice + getting enough sleep). // Peppermint tea. // The West Wing. // Meeting people and clicking right away. // Basically staying completely off Facebook – dang it’s good to be gone! // Exploration. // Downs. Downs are good because they highlight the ups. But downs are only effective if you *really* let yourself feel them. I believe that with all my heart, I really do. So this week, I am grateful for downs, and for my ability to fully embrace the entire spectrum of authentic emotion. Here’s to a well-rounded human experience! *cheers*
Alright guys, now it’s your turn! I’d love it if you share your Love Lists down on the comments below, if you feel so inspired. We all love to read them!
And of course, have the most wonderful weekend, y’all!
♥ ♥ ♥