Pictures Of Things + Le Love List

October 25th, 2014 - filed under: Furthermore » Feedback

Sayward Waits Rebhal

Gender-binary-reinforcing sunglasses twinsies! Whoops . . . (but so cute, no?)

Well, hello there. Two weeks + one day later. Hello!

As you might have noticed, I wasn’t able to post last week. To say that these are crazy days would be an understatement. These days are crazy, not just for me and mine, but – at least it seems – for all the sensitive souls of the world. I was talking about this recently with a small group of women who are very tuned into this sort of thing, and yes, it certainly seems that something cosmically, collectively, is occurring. At least with the ones who are open to it.

And it’s not necessarily good. *Or* necessarily bad. But it definitely . . . is. Everyone I know who’s extra-sensitive (and I do tend to surround myself with those sorts) is feeling pulled, frayed, moved, restless and rowdy. Are you feeling it too?

So many changes.

For me and mine, it’s bringing many changes. Waits is so big, like just enormous. And he’s been restless in his sleep, waking me up in the night with his dream laughter . . . or sometimes waking me up every 10 minutes to ask me nonsensical questions. He’s growing again. And Damian is going through a major career transition, and I’m so happy for him. But, well, change ain’t easy, and I’ve had to pick up a lot of slack. Which is fine, but it means much more on my already over-full plate. Which is also fine, really. Damian will come out the other side of this shift in such an incredible place, sensitive soul a bit battered but totally intact, and I am just so full of happiness for him. And then there’s my Jeremy. Hoo-boy, the changes with that one. More on that in a bit . . .

So yes, my little circle is all topsy turvy right now, each and every one of us. And fair warning, my posting may continue to be sporadic over the next few weeks. C’est la vie. Such is life. ♥

A few pics, from the past TWO weeks:

tequila brekkies

This is my friend Larry, who I recently enjoyed a long and lovely brunch with. Over the years that we’ve known each other, Larry has been my professor, my drinking buddy, my boss, and my friend. He came to my wedding, and he helped me through my divorce. And as I was walking to meet him on this particular day, I realized that Larry and I have been gathering for our our “tequila brekkies” for damn near 10 years now. A freakin’ decade. And on this particular day, we happened to be celebrating Larry’s 70th birthday. And man, I just feel so grateful, and so honored, that I have such a wonderful, diverse, and sometimes totally unexpected group of people that I call friend. Larry is a good one. So *cheers* to 10 more years.

old canon
CANON! On the pier during one of our morning walks.

old ford tractor
Antique tractor. Pumpkin patch. That razor sunlight. Autumn!

antique tractor pumpkin patch

antique tractor

pumpkin patch

art in the funk zone
Street art stapled to a telephone pole, down in the Funk Zone.

look up
Look Up!

pickled peppers
I made pickled peppers. Well, fermented peppers. Jeremy has been eating them by the fistful and now they’re gone. They were GOOD.

look down
Looking down.


And now it’s time to take a breath, to pause, and to practice a little gratitude. With Le Love List. And this week? It’s Le Love List. – long form edition!

// My Life. No but seriously. Look, life is hard. It’s HARD! And confusing and overwhelming and depressing and frustrating and ugh, so *confusing*. For all of us. But also? On a recent Friday night, Jeremy and I found ourselves sitting in the back yard. Sipping on tall boys of local IPA, at the table in the back yard. Harley on the ground between our chairs. A blankie over our legs. The Oriole’s game on his laptop, while he watched and did some work. While I watched and also read, and tried to understand, a science paper for class. And the sun was going down and it was autumn and the game was on in the back yard and the dog and the blankie and the beer and just . . . man. That’s a goof life, right? It sure felt good. //

// I went on a major Parenthood (the TV show) binge and I basically had a series of epiphanies about my life and I know that that is 100% completely ridiculous but also, it totally happened and it was legitimately eye opening and inspiring and life changing and I KNOW. Ridiculous! But good. Really good. //

// I got an emergency text from my preschool teacher at 3 pm on a non-school day. They had mountains of mulch to move and no way to get it moved before school the next day, but it was considered a fire hazard and HAD to be moved before school the next day. So Waits and I sped off to the school where I proceeded to shovel mulch for hours, until the sun was all the way down and I could literally shovel no longer. It was hard work. Farm work! It’s been a long time since I’ve done that sort of intense, under-the-gun, physical labor. It hurt my body and it felt really, really good. //

// Later, the following week, I went to pick Waits up at preschool and when I arrived there, I noticed that the hood of my car was smoking. And when I went to investigate, I saw that there was scary green stuff sputtering out, and oh dear, that’s not good. Apparently my radiator had decided to kick the bucket. *sigh* With shuttling Waits around, and getting myself out to school to teach, and all the other stuff I need to do to make my life work, being without a car is just not. a. freakin’. option. But, before I could even begin to have my impending panic attack, my preschool teacher, who has become a good friend, handed me the keys to her truck. And she was like, “Meh, I won’t need it for the next couple of days.” And just like that, crisis averted. I am so grateful for her kindness. //

// And then there’s Jeremy. Earlier this week, Jeremy quit his job. He quit the job he’s held for the past 8 years, which was stable and secure and paid him well. He quit the job that gave him insider access and endless opportunities for connection in his industry. The job that taught him so much. The job that he hated, and that was slowly destroying him, both physically and emotionally. He did it. He quit. He jumped right off the edge of the cliff; he jumped for his dream. And I took his hand and jumped with him. Because falling is so, so, so fucking scary.

But flying feels so good.

And I believe in Jeremy and his dream with every fiber of my being. This is a big huge gnarly risky dangerous step. And it’s so right. And I can’t wait to share it with all of you. In the meantime, we will be working our tails off ’round the clock from now until Black Friday. So maybe, if you have a moment, you could send some well-intentioned good vibrations our way? Think of the word “Still”, and send us a little love and support. We could use it right about now. Thank you so much.

To Jumping! //

Okay, now it’s your turn to share your love with the rest of the world! We all want to know what little things are making you smile right now, so please post your Love Lists down on the comments below, and let us share in the love.

And have a fantastic weekend!

♥ ♥ ♥

  • Rachel

    I’m glad it’s not just me this past week or so. My science brain is always screaming “coincidence,” but Mercury was in retrograde… ;)

    Love list: // 6 years with the same fella. When did *that* happen? // Reading, writing, slowly, surely. // Skypeing with other sensitive souls. Knowing I’m not the only one. // Health. // This poem ( // And this one ( // Cookies and Burritos. // Yoga. //

  • Sammie


    -Naturebox has turned out to be incredibly successful over at this household
    -FarMar goodies like pumpkins, apples and the most fabulous German white garlic
    -Autumn days with gray skies and bright colored leaves
    -Local beer; my neighborhood sprouts a new microbrewery or growler shop nearly every week it seems like!
    -Work friends
    -Despite a hugely expensive car repair, the reassurances that 1) the issue wasn’t due to negligence on my part and 2) my car’s in great shape otherwise!

    Here’s to Jeremy for leaving a job that wasn’t good for him (to say the least, it sounds like!). Those steps are scary and full of questions but they’re so, so worth taking. Sending all the good vibes to all of you!!

  • Bel

    God, absolutely, the world is shifting on its axis, and it is leaving me feeling completely squirrely. It feels like running down a steep hill and completely unable to stop under my own power.
    All the best of luck with your changes, and the changes to the men in your life. You’re all fabulous and you’ll make it. And any job that makes you feel less than you are needs to be left behind. Living a Life true to yourself is more important. Now if only I had the courage to follow my own words….!!

  • WookieWifey

    Totally agree with everything changing in so many ways and being just totally fucking terrifying.
    <3 I decided to try something new and found out apparently I have a knack for it
    <3 got enough jewelry made to start selling at the local flea market, so hopefully soon
    <3 dried goldenrod for fresh tea hanging from my living room ceiling.
    <3 watching the cats snuggled up in the most hilarious positions
    <3 hubs and how his appreciation for me keeps me going when I'm ready to give up

  • coconutandberries

    You are so courageous Sayward. I always admire how you manage to keep going through EVERYTHING. And not just keep going but still see the good things, even in midst of a storm. Sending all the good vibes I can!

  • stephie137

    Congratulations on jumping!

  • Lisa C.

    Such a relevant post….I’m sure for so many, in so many ways. It is for me. I just feel change, but not sure what. That probably sounds weird. Anyway, sending peaceful vibes your way and patiently waiting for what you are brewin’ up!

  • Meredith

    Oh my goodness. This. Post. Was. So. Needed. And SO spot on, I must be one of the sensitive souls, because, man are things changing! My husband has been saying this is the year of change since January, and he has been right. With a new house, a new business, a new car, newness is seeping out of our pores right now! It’s exciting isn’t it?! Cheers to change!

  • Lacy Davis

    you guys have totally got this.

    Quitting my teaching job to run Super Strength Health was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life, and also probably THE most rewarding. I love my blog space. I love my clients. I love the community, and I trust the hustle. Starting anew isn’t easy, but god damn it can feel awesome.

    Wishing you both all the joy and all the stillness <3

    Lacy Davis

  • Emily

    I’ve felt the same way about the show Parenthood. It’s good stuff! My love list: being home with my 11 week old baby boy / so grateful for my maternity leave / seeing what life is really all about / time to try lots of new vegan recipe / hours spent just me and my boy and finding my confidence as a mama / autumn in New York / soaking up the special time…

  • lysette

    Dream laughter :)
    This has been a particularly tumultuous Mercury retrograde. Now that it’s cycling forward we can all leap from the nest and stretch out our wings.
    ox list xo
    ~Hearing the completely un-majestic call of a blue heron which startled me, then tumbled into reams of laughter. I always assumed such an elegant bird would sound like a wood flute not a sack of clown horns being smacked on the ground.
    ~A letter from my mid-90′s grandparents who still live in their home, throw dress up parties, drink scotch and play cards.
    ~Finding dusty stacks of my journals and being charmed by my old thoughts and dreams.
    ~Reconnecting with good people from past times.
    ~Laughter that buckles the knees and makes me gasp for breath.
    ~Feeling like there is so much more and I’m starting to see, hear & believe it.

  • veronika

    Interesting post! And wow, talk about a full plate! Glad to hear that you are still rolling and on track. I always blame these feelings on changing seasons and the return of the perma-rain here in the PNW, but it’s amazing to get the reassurance of the shifts from others.

    Imma guess you and Jeremy are going into moonshining, and if so – awesome!!
    If not, and the “still” you are seeking is some kind of a peace and quiet, that’s cool too :)

    Best of luck!!

  • Angie

    Sending all of you love, prosperity, good fortune and the karma you deserve!

  • Sonja

    sending lots of positive vibes to Jeremy and you, Sayward! I quit my old job a while ago and never looked back. I totally believe in you guys and can’t wait to hear, what Jeremy’s plans are.

    My love list:
    - autumn sun
    - putting pumpkin in everything
    - the beginning of kale-season
    - cuddling up with my loved one on the sofa
    - doing lots of yoga and having sore muscles because of it
    - spending an evening with my dad

  • Judith

    reading your post and the comments gives me such a warm feeling (love list point no.1) This year has been all about change for me and my man aswell. He also decided to quit his (well-paid and not completely meaningless) job about a year ago, to become an organic farmer. And since growing vegetables has been a long-time dream of myself I joined him in attending a biodynamic farming school (without quitting my job). It’s been a rough year so far, getting used to the sort of “insecurity” of not having a regular income that can sustain both of us, but I wouldn’t want to miss any second of it, because we have learned so much, from each other, about ourselves and from other people (love list point no.2). More changes are about to come and I’m looking forward to them with curiosity and the confidence that everything will be just fine. So. ;-) Thank you so much for your openness. your post stirred something in me (love list point no. 3) ;-)
    Sending you much love and good vibrations!!!!

    the rest of my love list:
    - working less and winding down after a long and busy summer
    - the last months, full of work and sun and wonderful people
    - spending a sweet little holiday with my man
    - the new season
    - apple-cinnamon rolls
    - …
    - :-)

  • Michaela@The Lightweight Eats

    Thanks for this. I’m feeling it too and I’m not usually a sensitive soul.

  • jenn

    Oh Sayward, You’ve gone and made me cry, you hit a nerve within me. Gosh…I do, I feel that topsy turvyness right now, I feel so confused, lost and here I am at almost 40 thinking, believing that I can still figure it out, meanwhile I’m beating myself up for the mistakes I’ve made, urgh, I look at your blog regularly and mostly of all the others on my bookmarks page as inspiration, longing that I could have some of that wisdom, confidence that you possess and I know that in no way that is your intention, to create a disparity, only for you to be part of the conversation out here and to inspire and I don’t feel “bad” for not having what you have (really I’m ok) but I guess what it is is this: that I feel that I am lacking something in my life, within myself and I feel stuck within my dysfunction, and I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes and I do dream of that jumping off a cliff with the choices I’ve made with myself but then what?… Anyway what I do admire about you is that you get down and dirty and lovingly involved in your life so thankyou for sharing and inspiring and that kind of attitude and effort will always be reciprocated. xo Jenn (in Maryland right now)

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Oh my god Rachel that poem “Say yes” was absolutely fucking incredible. It totally broke me in just the right way. I needed to hear those amazing words and I needed to have that cry, too. Thank you so much.

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Thank you so much for sharing, Sammie! I love your love list which seems so perfect for the season (in many ways). I’m sorry you had a huge car repair too, those are never fun and of course, there’s no such thing as “good timing” when it comes to dropping large sums of money. ;-) But good to know it wasn’t anything you did.

    Hope you’ve had a great weekend!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Oh! Squirrely is such a good word for this collective feeling! And your simile is perfect. That’s just exactly the feeling.

    Your words are wise – you should follow them! =D

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Oh I’m sure you’re feeling it too, fellow sensitive soul. Glad you’re able to find so much goodness around you as well. And mmm, the image of drying goldenrod hanging from the living room ceiling is just so delightful!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Thank you, I sure don’t *feel* courageous much of the time. But thank you, it means so much to hear. And thanks for the good vibes!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Thank you!! ♥

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Doesn’t sound weird at ALL. I think that’s what most people are feeling . . . the winds of change, but not quite sure of their direction.

    Thanks for the good vibes, and I hope you find some clarity soon as well!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Oh my gosh Meredith, that IS a lot of newness! That much can be so fun but I know, also totally overwhelming because your life looks so drastically, completely unfamiliar. Hoping you’re able to stay centered and roll with all your newness, enjoying the ride. And congratulations on it all!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Thank you Lacy! I really do feel like we can handle it (even if it’s just barely). I love hearing stories from other people who have jumped and then succeeded, so thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. I like the phrase “trust the hustle”. Yay for jumping and dreaming!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Aww, those early days and weeks are so precious. I’m glad you’re finding your mama confidence (and hoping you’re okay with *not* always finding it, because lord knows that happens too) and enjoying your leave. What a wonderful time! And a great time of year to be nesting down with baby. Aww, so happy for you!!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Ahaha! I love your description of the Blue Heron call, it actually made me laugh out loud last night when I read it. I did my undergraduate research in a salt marsh, and I know that awful, “un-majestic” sound very well. And you’re so right, it sounds SO WEIRD coming from such a beautiful bird!

    Your grandparents sound awesome. This Love List made me totally happy, thank you so much for sharing. =)

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Good point Veronika, I definitely think the changing season has something to do with it. I was just commenting to a friend yesterday about how I’ve suddenly been super hungry all the time, like out of nowhere. And he said, “Well, yeah. Autumn,” and I was like “Oh duh, of course.”

    Moonshining! Haha, not quite, but you’re absolutely correct on the reference . . . ;-)

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Thank you Angie!!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Thank you Sonja, and yay for you for quitting and not looking back! I LOVE hearing that! And thanks for sharing your Love List. Hope you had a great weekend!

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Thank you so much for sharing this, Judith. Your words made me smile and I love getting a peek into your journey. This summer Jeremy and I toured a biodynamic winery and learned all about the practice – it’s so incredible! I love the mixture of science and mysticism that goes into it. Very cool stuff. Sending lots of good vibrations right back at you! ♥

  • Sayward Rebhal

    Maybe more sensitive than you think. ;-)

  • Sayward Rebhal

    We are all feeling it, Jenn. You are not alone in your topsy turviness! I am so familiar with the feelings you describe here, that sense of dissatisfaction, or like something is missing, but of being paralyzed and overwhelmed and feeling unable to know how to take action. I know that feeling, too.

    But I really love the phrase you used “get down and dirty and lovingly involved in your life”. Yes! I think that’s a good way to describe what I do. And I think you can do it too, I really do.

    Do you believe in God or the afterlife? I sometimes feel like my atheism helps me here. Because I really have this sense of “now or never”. It’s just this once, and then it’s gone. So what’s the worst that could happen? Someday we’ll all be dead and then it won’t matter anyway, whether we failed or tried or laughed or cried or just kept hurting and never moved on. We’ll all be gone. So I don’t know – might as well jump, no?

    Hugs to you. You’re not alone in what you’re feeling. ♥

  • vegyogini

    I’m also an extra-sensitive soul and, man, have I been feeling it! Lots of positive vibes to you, Jeremy, Waits, and Damian in your transitions.

  • Emily

    Taking a jump is always the right decision if it involves something you’re passionate about :) I recently changed my major from Nursing to Dietetics and while it comes with a lot less stability, it’s something I am so incredibly passionate about & am genuinely excited to study! <3 sending good vibes to you and your fam

  • jenn

    thanks Sayward! I’m not really a pro-technology person but I do like this where I don’t even know you but I can share in your life and vice a versa to connect, communicate, find tribe. I believe in a universal amazing greatness that lets me know that it’s alright, that I do have to put in some effort but that I’m not alone in my being here trying to figure out my hero story (what ever that might be :) ) I guess I feel the worst that can happen though is going crazy, which I have felt sometimes due to fear… Anyway… thanks Sayward… I have this alcoholic partner who I realized today that i need to leave but still not sure because we have kids together and I feel that I can’t do it alone, not with feeling like I have to be this person and then that person and… I’m babbling but thank you my dear for being here :)

  • Lisa B.

    “Say Yes” was phenomenal and, like Sayward said, exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, Rachel! I’ll be sharing this with many friends.

  • Alex Elser

    We have been in the same place too – so many changes and shifts which will take us wonderful places but are hard and stressful right now – I literally lay down on the ground yesterday and asked for all to stop, even though it won’t stop and would I even want it too? We are renovating and the bills do my head in but we are so blessed to be renovating and have that as our problem.
    My love list:
    - Chickpea burgers with extra caramlised onions with my husband
    - Walking all day with my mother’s circa 1970 53mm camera and black & white film
    - Development Approval and marks on the walls indicating that something will eventually happen – we will have a kitchen at least in 2015
    - Slowly building my strength back, with a vegan diet, after protein deficiency and a scary August
    - 2.5 weeks until holidaying in Spain

  • Sarah

    I cannot even begin to articulate how much I needed to hear that poem. This week, it’s felt like I’ve been at odds with the entire world, a sensitive soul in a decidedly opposite environment. This has reignited a tiny speck of hope – thank you so much for sharing!

  • Sara

    I quit my steady, dull, soul-killing job 8 years ago (interestingly enough, my last day of work was on Oct 31st that year) and have never looked back. Not that everything has been smooth sailing for me, but I’ve known all along that I was going in the right direction, even when other work and work places sucked. Now I’ve had my own small company for 1,5 years and I’m so happy. The scariest leap of all was venturing out on my own – even though my husband encouraged me – but it was so worth it! Not into making big bucks, I still make a nice living. :)

    I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I’ve been reading it for a couple of years now. You’re really a paragon of trailblazing for me – hope that doesn’t sound too dorky…What I mean is that having had my own challenges with staying vegan, I wholeheartedly thank you for having an open heart for all of us ‘non-textbook cases’ who need a lot of protein and fat in their diets. ;)

  • Rachel

    Hooray! Glad you all liked it as much as I do. So much truth.

  • Monika {windycityvegan}

    Okay, so I am probably the least sensitive/in-tune-to-my-surroundings person I know, but my husband is just the opposite, and he’s been especially wound up lately. I keep assuming any chaos in our lives is due to my attempts at balancing work-school-myself-family. Maybe there’s more to it?

    Hooray to jumping! Sending lots of good vibes your way. And hoping that whatever it is you and Jeremy are up to, it involves booze. :D

    Wrapping up my 42nd year (that is, turning 42) on Ocracoke island, camping under the stars // waking up in the very early morning on my birthday, family snoring away in the tent, and watching the Milky Way slowly melt into the sky as the first glimpse of sunrise, still a couple of hours away, began creeping up under the horizon // the fire-under-my-ass motivation that came out of nowhere when I thought I turned in a sub-par assignment // dirty chai coconut lattes // Nina calling me “old timey” – followed by hysterical laughter – when I told her I own Back in Black on cassette tape // Nina singing Sabotage to herself, but calling it Succotash. Best mistaken lyric I’ve heard in a long time! I had no idea what she was talking about until she suggested we wear wigs, mustaches, and polyester suits for Hallowe’en.

  • Monika {windycityvegan}

    Yes to kale season! And boy, oh boy do I miss having sore muscles from doing lots of yoga.

  • Monika {windycityvegan}

    You know, I have blue heron on my pond but I’ve never heard their call while watching them. I always wondered what that sound was. And I agree with Sayward, your grandparents sound like the greatest!

  • Kate

    If you guys need a kickstarter backer for whatever is coming, I’M ON IT.

  • Rebecca Carnes

    OMG, you nailed it right on the head! I though I was going crazy this last week or so just feeling overly sensitive and overwhelmed but not sure exactly why!Life definitely has its ups and downs… I admire you guys for taking that jump and at least trying to follow your passions! Most of us don’t take that step, so no matter where you guys land it will be on top:) Sending lots of positive vibes and thoughts your way :):) And thank you for your honest posts and for being an inspirational human being!!

  • Rebecca Carnes

    And PS….Besides the Walking dead, Parenthood is my fav!! I stay up late just to watch lol

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  • Sarah

    It might sound trite, but I wholeheartedly believe that life is too short to stay in a situation in which you’re unhappy. That belief has led me to take quite a few jumps of my own, and even when things have been wobbly for a while, I’ve never regretted the decision to rescue myself from unhappiness and stress. Change can be scary, but I admire anyone with the courage to break out of an unhappy situation and chase something better. Sending lots of happy thoughts and good vibes to you and Jeremy!

    My love list: My best friend, who took care of me while I was grieving and wasn’t taking care of myself ~ the book Lost Souls, which is currently making my inner 14-year-old goth very happy! ~ making plans to go back to New Zealand next year ~ parkin (a sort of ginger cake eaten in the UK around Hallowe’en) ~ homemade vegan smørrebrød ~ crisp Autumn mornings ~ nettle tea, always and forever!