The Test
In April, I eliminated all grains.


The Theory
More so than in previous months, April’s experiment was almost exclusively borne out of curiosity. Grain-free? It’s pretty drastic, but I couldn’t help but wonder. I knew that most of my issues were related to either digestion or blood sugar (or both), and I knew that I already felt so much better after cutting out wheat (THE main grain) and processed sugar.

There are some healthy-eating folks who will argue against the inclusion of grains in any diet. The “primal” or “paleo” crowd insist that the advent of agriculture was the beginning of a nutritional degeneration of sorts. A relatively recent addition to the human diet, grains can be difficult to digest and hard for the body to handle (they are broken down into simple glucose, which can produce the spike-and-crash blood sugar effect). As well, most grains contain anti-nutrients if not properly prepared. Grains – especially refined grains – can even cause inflammation throughout the body.

So what would happen if I ditched them altogether? It seemed to work wonders for a lot of other people, so I figured I’d give it a try. I was rockin’ without the gluten and the sugar. I thought I had nothing to lose . . .


The Results
There’s something to be said for quality of life.

Eating a grain-free vegan diet can be tricky, and trying to eat out? Total pain in the ass. Which is okay with me, to a certain degree. I don’t mind a “pain in the ass diet” when I’m reaping great rewards from it (ie, RAW!), but the problem here was that . . . I wasn’t. I didn’t feel any different and I certainly didn’t feel any better. I’m pretty familiar with grain-alternatives already, so eating at home wasn’t as much of a problem. I can wrap my sandwich fillings in lettuce leaves, serve my burrito innards in cabbage cups, and spoon a stir fry over spinach. I just had to eat a little more volume to compensate for the missing calories, but overall, it was okay.

Eating out, on the other hand, was tough. And you know what? Eating out is fun. But suddenly each of our favorite spots was a no-go. Thai is full of rice and noodles. Mexican relies on rice and tortillas (both wheat and corn) (yes, corn is a grain). Ethiopian isn’t the same without that glorious spongy injera. I could do Mediterranean – minus the pita, minus the falafel, minus the tabbouleh. Super. Sad. Trombone.

It was an interesting experience, because it wasn’t “hard” in the same ways as the other challenges. But it was infinitely more frustrating. Because it felt so . . . pointless. Deprivation for deprivation’s sake just isn’t my bag. After three and half weeks I threw in the towel. Even neurotic me didn’t feel the need to finish out the final week!

However, the month wasn’t a total wash. Quite the opposite in fact – this experiment helped me begin to form the foundation of what would eventually become my over-arching food philosophy. Since I *didn’t* have the same reaction as other people reported (ie, great benefit) from dropping grains (ie, going low-carb), it really hit home that different people require different macronutrient ratios. And now I firmly believe that this is why such divergent diets work so well for various people. Which has got to be at least part of the reason that there’s so much conflicting nutritional research out there! I don’t know why so many people – both professional and layman – seem to ignore this.

[Edited for clarity: when I say "different diets work for different people", I am referring ONLY to macronutrient ratios - fats, carbs, and protein - all of which can be adjusted as necessary within a plant-based diet!]

Anyway, that’s mostly what I got out of April, and I’ll consider that a success. Plus, next month was May, and May meant one of my very favorite changes . . . but we’ll get to that next time!

Edited to link in the rest of the series:
Introduction
January
February
March

The Test
In March, I practiced portion control and mindful eating.


The Theory
When I undertook this massive endeavor, it was with one purpose in mind. This series of dietary challenges were meant to facilitate a “dialogue” with my body. Not just to listen (being mindful), but also to talk back (via the experiments). This metaphorical “conversation” would help me determine how to best nourish myself, both physically and emotionally.

But I had developed a couple of really bad habits surrounding food, and there was no way I was going to be able to hear what my body was saying, if I wasn’t staying present when I was eating. Here’s an example of the sort of thing I’m talking about:

Our afternoon -> evening -> night routine involves me being with Waits all day, then Damian getting home from work and taking Waits while I jump immediately into dinner-making, then me taking Waits back while Damian eats dinner, then me feeding Waits while Damian has a few minutes to relax, and then Damian taking Waits and me finally getting to eat and chill out (pretty much for the first time of the day).

And so, subconsciously, I was eating more than I needed, just to get some extra down time! Damian would play with Waits for as long as I was eating . . . so I just kept eating. I wasn’t listening to my own true hunger cues, but I was using food as a way to check out, chill out, and steal some much-needed alone time. Because of this, and a few other smaller-but-similar daily incidents, I was very out of touch with my own sense of satiety.

[Can you think of any similar situations that might lead to this sort of disconnect, in your own day-to-day life?]

So my plan for March was simply to practice portion control – and in the process, to refrain from mindlessly munching, while attempting to eat intuitively (very hard to do at first!).


The Results
This was HARD. The most difficult challenge I’d had to date, by far. I struggled, especially on the weekends, and I had to lean heavily on Damian to help me with my mindfulness. We talked a lot about strategies for staying present, as he is a natural and experienced intuitive eater. Some of the answers were as simple as realizing that I could just ask for some after-dinner quiet time, instead of feeling the need to justify my time by filling it with food.

I also feel like I was able to rely on the groundwork I’d laid back in January, which was so helpful. I continued to note which foods affected my blood sugar, which ones led to difficult cravings, and which ones left me hungry again an hour later. The lessons I’d learned in January made March so much easier to navigate.

By the end of the month I was super tuned-in to my body. I’d reconnected with my fullness feelings, and my true hunger feelings, and that made portion control come naturally. Sometimes I still overeat, but when I do it’s always mindfully – sometimes something tastes amazing and I just want more! Which is fine, as long as it’s a conscious choice and the exception instead of the rule.

Overall, March was a huge breakthrough month for me, the one that really paved the way for the healthy, happy relationship with food that I now enjoy. Like I said, this Great Grand Trial is not just physical. There’s an important emotional component to eating, and to ignore that is to only see one part of the picture. So for me, March was a big piece of the big-picture puzzle. Which was great, since April turned out to be an abject failure . . .

Edited to link in the rest of the series:
Introduction
January
February

April

The Test
In February, I eliminated sugar and wheat.


The Theory
Ah, sugar. If there’s one thing and one thing only that all the dietitians and all the nutritionists and all the doctors and all the alternative health practitioners can actually agree upon, it’s this: sugar is baaaad!

And since I suspected that my underlying issues stemmed from erratic blood sugar levels, it made sense to make processed sugar my first target. In my case, for this experiment, “sugar” meant: white sugar, cane sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, raw sugar, evaporated cane juice, sucanat, rapadura, jaggery, etc. It did NOT include: maple syrup, molasses, raw agave syrup (I trust my source), or the natural sugars found in fruit/coconut water/etc.

[I know that agave is a contentious product, but that's another discussion. Please just know that I've done my research and I feel comfortable using agave in moderation. I also know from experience that in MY body, agave doesn't cause an insulin spike the way that other sugars do.]

Concurrently, I cut out all wheat. There is a certain school of nutritional thought (the primal/paleo crowd) that argues against the inclusion of grains, especially wheat, in the human diet. They believe that because wheat is a relatively new food (only ~10,000 years), our bodies have not evolved to properly use and digest the stuff. This was one of those researching “throw-your-hands-in-the-air-everyone-says-something-different-dammit!” moments that I’ve written about, but I have to say the theory really intrigued me.

Mostly, it resonated with me intuitively. I knew my blood sugar stability was, well, unstable. I knew it was related to food but I hadn’t been able to pin down the cause. However, it certainly seemed like on mornings when, say, I had pancakes for breakfast, I would spend the rest of the day struggling with intense “sweets” cravings, eating and eating and never feeling full. Or, if I had a big hunk of bread with dinner, I would go to bed kind of cranky and “down”. Since refined carbohydrate (even “whole grain” products) are converted into “simple sugars” (glucose) in the body, it seemed to make sense that wheat was a possible blood sugar trigger for me.


The Results
During February I allowed myself free reign of RAW desserts, without restrictions, to get over the no-sugar hump. Refined sugar is seriously addictive and coming off that shit is HARD! I sweetened my coffee/tea and ate my RAW desserts with abandon, and it worked like a charm. By March I was measuring a more modest amount of agave into my drinks, and dessert was relegated mainly to the weekends.

I found a lot of helpful substitutions for wheat, like gluten-free cornbread, raw crackers or rice crackers, corn chips or rice cakes, corn tortillas and cabbage leaf “wraps”, and tamari soy sauce (standard soy sauce is made with wheat).

Eliminating sugar and wheat definitely improved my overall well-being. My blood sugar was more stable (though not completely so) and my moods dramatically improved. Like, dramatically. I very much believe that cutting out sugar is one of the best things a person can do for their mental health . . . but that’s just my opinion!

It was hard, at the time, to parse out which effects were due to removing sugar and which were the result of the missing wheat. And in fact, I didn’t figure that out until many months later. But we’re not there yet! At the end of February all I knew was that I was feeling better already. And so far, it hadn’t been too hard at all . . .

. . . but of course, March would change all that!

Edited to link in the rest of the series:
Introduction
January

March
April

The Test
In January my goal was simply to Make The Healthier Choice.


The Theory
Heading into the new year, I was coming from a place of poor health and poor food choices. Which made sense of course – I was coming off the holiday season! Ugh.

I’m usually a “diver” type, but starting out on this great grand diet trial, I decided to wade in slowly. I was going for sustainability, after all, not impact. So January was all about:
1) reconnecting with my food intuition
2) tuning back in to my body.

After the sugar-shocked and over-indulged era that marks the winter holidays, my palate was completely skewed and my body’s expectations were unrealistic. Which meant I had to work to make the healthy choice become my new habitual choice.

“Leftover pumpkin pie for breakfast?”
“Hmmm, how about pumpkin-spiced oatmeal instead?”

Those was the sort of iterative improvements I was making. Nothing too drastic or ground-breaking. This was about being mindful and conscious in my food choices, and you know what? That can be hard enough.

But mindful eating is not just about making a good choice and then calling it a day. True mindfulness requires follow-through. Let me explain.

We all notice a physical change after drinking a cup of coffee, right? Or having a glass of wine? (or two?) These are normal responses – prompted by caffeine or alcohol – and since they’re expected, we’re aware of them. But what if you tried to notice the changes that occur after having . . . a green smoothie? A bowl of beans? Does your body react after drinking green juice? Does your mood shift at all in the minutes after you eat a sugary pastry? What about an hour after eating a sugary pastry? How do you feel when your dinner is mostly fresh? How do you feel when your dinner is mostly from a box?

There’s a lot of talk about “listening to your body” in the health word. “Listen to your body language!” the gurus like to say. But I think that’s only half of the equation. How much can you really learn from just listening???

I decided I needed to stop listening – and start talking back! So in January, that’s what I practiced – having a conversation with my body.


The Results
I learned a lot in those four weeks – enough to direct my investigations throughout all of the following months. I didn’t come away with a set of conclusions, but I did secure a series of important threads to pursue.

I know (I guess I should say I believe, since I can’t prove it) that different people require different proportions of macronutrients. With this in mind, I was able to observe how my cravings, emotions, satiety, and stability would change from day to day depending on the amounts of fat/protein/carbohydrate I was eating.

As well, I learned how to read the difference between a “tongue” craving and a “body” craving. That is, an emotional craving versus a nutritional one. Once that difference became clear, the question of whether or how to honor the craving was so much more straightforward.


January came and went. But it left in it’s wake a lot of promise.

Next up: February, and the fun really begins . . .

Edited to link in the rest of the series:
Introduction

February
March
April

Despite my recent quarrel with Lady Luck, I do so love autumn . . .

Yellow split peas . . .

Mirepoix in the crock . . .

Pumpkin chunks!

Fresh baked gluten-free cornbread . . .

. . . aaaaaaand perfection, bathed in coconut cream.


Good night friends! Hopefully things will be back on track sooooon!

But, I think this journey has been pretty interesting, and I’ve learned a whole lot, and ultimately, I’ve been able to take myself from a piss-poor state, to a really amazing place. Maybe others will find solace in my story? I hope so.

But first, some background.


My Relationship With Food
I have never had an eating disorder. However, I also haven’t always had an easy relationship with food, and I think that at times my behavior could have been considered borderline “disordered”.

I’m not any kind of -rexic and I only ever made myself puke one time, when I was 17, and that was way more about drama than it was about food. What I can be is an emotional eater, though I’m not convinced that “emotional eating” is, by definition, always unhealthy. For example when I quit smoking, I made the completely conscious decision to use food as a coping mechanism (quitting was incredibly emotional and very stressful for me). I went into that situation with my eyes wide open, and I used food as a tool . . . and it worked! I’m really not so sure that I would have been able to quit smoking otherwise (at least not with my lifestyle/relationships in tact). So part of me feels like there is a place for mindful emotional eating, though I’m certainly no expert on the subject.

To be clear, I’m not talking about full-on stress-induced indiscriminate binging, which is unhealthy under any circumstances. And in those situations there seems to be a physiological, as well as a psychological, component. I know that in my own experience it’s always a combination of the two, but seems predominantly driven by an actual physical response (more on that later). But when I say that emotional eating may not be unhealthy, I’m not referring to binging. I’m talking about . . . getting to the end of a very long, very hard day, and thinking “I would really love to curl up with a cookie and a cup of cocoa”, and then being comforted by doing it. Is that inherently unhealthy? Your thoughts?


Why The Experiments?
After Waits was born my wellness took a nose dive. A few weeks after giving birth, I had developed an internal Candida (yeast) infection, my hormones were all over the place, my moods were up and down, and I was tired all the time. A lot of this is typical “new mom” stuff, but everything was exacerbated – and rooted in – what I knew was a problem with the way I was eating. I was plagued by a cycle of blood sugar spikes and crashes (physiological), seemingly out of my control, which wreaked havoc on my emotional stability (psychological). I was quickly reaching a breaking point.

As all this was happening, I was saturating myself nutrition literature, and I quickly learned of the contradictions and inconsistency that run rampant in the health world. Was I suffering from a sluggish thyroid? Metabolic disorder? Gluten allergy? Adrenal fatigue? No one agreed on anything! And even if they did, they couldn’t agree on the cause, and they wouldn’t agree on a treatment!

That’s when I decided to take matters into my own hands. Drawing on all my research, cutting and pasting theories to create a general framework, I pieced together my own mish-mash of an agenda. The new year seemed as good a time as any, so on January 1st, I began my testing.


Why I Didn’t Blog It
Honestly? I was worried about being judged. I worry the same way about posting my food journals (WIAW). I mean, I know what’s going on in my head and I know that I’m alright, but I also know that people perceive things in wildly different ways. Do people look at me and think I’m crazy? Do they think I have an eating disorder?

Truth: there IS a lot of disordered eating in the “healthy living” blogosphere. Period. But it’s not always so cut and dry.

Orthorexia is defined as “an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy”, but do you see the problem with that definition? Um, doesn’t the premise assume that we’ve agreed on what “healthy” means? Because, you know, we haven’t!

Orthorexia is an accusation that’s hurled around a lot these days, the en vogue ED of our day. But I’m not sure I buy orthorexia as anything more than a subset of anorexia. What seems normal and “healthy” to one person may seem extreme and insane to another. That’s a slippery slope. For example, I’ve read articles where the author (a professional, mind you) insists that all raw foodists – even all vegans! – are de facto orthorexic. And certainly, if you’ve got yourself convinced that grains are evil, gluten is satan, soy is toxic, sugar in all forms causes cancer, processed foods are pure poison, and on and on until all that you’re eating is organic raw kale, well then yes, you have a problem. But really, if all you’re eating is [calorie-deficient] raw kale, then isn’t your problem actually just anorexia? Am I wrong?


Anyway, the truth is that in the world of diet and nutrition, there is someone who will tell you that anything is dangerous. If you can eat it, then somebody somewhere will tell you not to. Its easy to see how someone could become frightened and thus misled, writing off more and more foods as “bad”, until there’s very little left that feels “safe”. That’s why, in my opinion, there comes a point where seeking guidance outside of yourself is simply ineffective. (note: I’m not suggesting you forego actual treatment for actual disease)

For me, I had to trust my body and do my work from the inside out. And I did. Over the course of the last nine months I’ve gone from feeling horrible and unhealthy, to experiencing sustained energy and vibrant health. I cured my Candida. My blood sugar is almost always stable. And my mood swings, when they do occur, can most likely be attributed to my lady bits and their monthly cycles (damn it!). Best of all, I have an awesome, positive, easy and enjoyable relationship with food, choosing my meals based on what makes me feel the best. Most of the time that takes the form of foods that most people would deem as “super healthy” (I just call them yummy), and some of the time that turns out to be . . . coconut ice cream! Or whatever. I don’t stress about it, because finally, FINALLY, I’ve found my balance.

It’s a beautiful thing. And over the next few weeks, I look forward to sharing how I got here.

Edited to link in the rest of the series:
January
February
March

~~~

On my veganniversary, I woke up in bed with my little veg*n family. I kissed my husband goodbye and sent him off to work. He commutes 10+ miles by bike every day. He is plant-strong and even as a sleep-deprived hard-working daddy, he has abundant energy and is in the best shape of his entire life. And he looks good.



On my veganniversary, I strapped my toddler onto my back and we picked our breakfast from our garden. My little penguin ate fresh strawberries with his oatmeal, and there was lots of swiss chard for the blender.

On my veganniversary, I treated myself to a decadent black forest smoothie. Farmer’s Market bing cherries and raw cacao. It was divine.





On my veganniversary, I took my son swimming in the gorgeous summer sun. My boy is tall and muscular and fiercely intelligent. And he makes quite a splash!


We met some friends there at the pool, on my veganniversary. Katie has been vegan for over 12 years, and she was the one who helped me in the beginning. Scarlett has been vegan for all of her 11 months.


They’re totally gonna get married some day.


On my veganniversary, Waits and I took the spotted furbaby on a long meandering walk around the local marsh. He, too, is becoming veg*n.



In the evening, I had a delicious dinner with my little family, and we talked about what veganism means to us. Our annual “state of the vegan” meeting, if you will.

~~~

I’ve written in the past about how my veganism is always in flux, ever evolving. It grows like I do and it will always continue to change. As it should.

Right now, today, 1096 days in, all I can say is that I am so thankful to be vegan. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to have found this lifestyle. I feel proud and passionate and blessed to be able to live out my values of non-violence,
taken to their only logical conclusion,
in completion,
every day.


And I cherish the gifts that veganism gives back to me:

The good health and strong immune system and boundless energy that I experience, which makes me an adventurous mother, and an attentive wife, and a productive writer.

The self-awareness and mindful reflection, the inward honesty that comes from living in truth; free from cognitive dissonance. It’s harder this way, but the rewards are richer.

The openness. The compassion that reminds me to be kind to all animals, including the human ones. Including myself.

These are the lessons that I want to pass on to my son. These lessons that I still struggle with learning, myself.

These are the lessons that veganism teaches to all of us.

~~~

This book is the sum of everything that I’m passionate about, and I am so joyful and so proud to put it out into the world. This book was an absolute labor of love, and most of it was typed with one hand while my son was asleep and nursing on top of me. And truly, this book was only possible through partnership with other incredible people, people who see hope in the world like I do and who work to make it all happen. Thank you so much Josh and Michelle “Herbivore”!

~~~

About the book:

“The Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide is a fun, informative, and totally comprehensive reference manual. Leave the heavy textbooks at home! This is a “pocket guide” with quick answers to all your most pressing pregnancy questions – from straightforward nutrition information and strategies for maximizing meal plans, to tips on choosing cruelty-free antacids (by brand name) and advice on how to throw a vegan baby shower. Written in an upbeat and casual tone, reading The Vegan Pregnancy Survival Guide is like having an awesome conversation with a super-supportive and super-positive girlfriend . . . who just so happens to know a ton about vegan nutrition and pregnancy.”

~~~

My dears, I’m just excited beyond words. So what are you waiting for? Go get your copy now, woo-hoo!!!