When I started down this path, my life was wide open. I had just quite a job I hated, I was ambitious and excited and had all the time in the world to throw myself into my writing. I worked tirelessly, as has been my nature, and slowly but surely I pieced together this precious little space. My intention was to create a community of like-minded individuals, a network of action-oriented optimists to move and shake and make the world a better place. And . . . I think I did! We have done amazing things here, you and I. Whether you found Bonzai at it’s beginning, or whether you joined us somewhere along the way, or even if you just arrived last week, you’ve all played a part in making this place incredible. Thank you.

But there have been hard parts, too. For me, there are times when it’s difficult to live my life on display. At first I really appreciated being held accountable; it was motivating, and I loved connecting with people on a similar path. I found it empowering to feel like I was making a difference in the world. That may sound silly, but I’ve received enough emails by now that I do believe I’ve played some small but important part in changing a lot of lives. These emails light me up, and often bring me to tears. Every email, every single one, has filled me with gratitude. That has meant more to me than anything else, and has really become the force that keeps me moving forward here.

Over the years I’ve grown, and everything else has grown too. I’ve become a mother! Things have changed. My responsibilities and obligations, my day-to-day life and the way I use my time, and many of my priorities, have had to shift. And oh boy have I fought it! Often to my detriment, I have fought it. I can run myself ragged but the truth is, I no longer have the singular focus and endless energy to throw myself into this project. Bonzai is so much more than just a series of isolated blog posts, you know? Nurturing a community takes a lot of energy.

~~~

There’s a few things that you should know.

See, there’s this elephant in the blogosphere.
When I created Bonzai, I dreamed of a space that would provide for others what I’d wished I had for myself: a place to belong and to be inspired. A space for hope and positivity, for sharing ideas and spurring creativity, with simple mindful solutions for building a better, more beautiful life. I had nothing but the best intentions.

What I’ve since come to realize is that this is an unfair model. In the process of preserving Bonzai as a “happy place”, I’ve painted an incomplete image of my life. And although I always knew that it was only a partial picture, I realized (too late) that this [mis]representation – even coming from a place of caring – was having unintended consequences.

To be clear, this is a problem that goes well beyond Bonzai Aphrodite. The same thing is happening all over the blogosphere (especially with “mommy bloggers”), and it’s something I’d love to see addressed by the larger community.

The dilemma essentially is this: bloggers want to perpetuate positivity. To lift people up and empower them. We want to show you beautiful things. Or maybe I should just speak for myself. That’s what I want.

But in doing so, we paint an unrealistic, idealized version of a person – me – and of a life – my life. Again, just speaking for myself, I fear that I’ve created an impossible standard. A measuring stick whereby readers, trying to live up, will always believe they fall short. I know this because I’m also on the other side of it, with other bloggers, comparing myself to my perception of them, and feeling like I’m “less than”. And I know it because people write to me, feeling just exactly that way after reading Bonzai.

This is a real problem and it really breaks my heart. I don’t ever want to play a part in someone feeling bad about themselves.

It’s something I think about a lot these days, but as of yet I haven’t been able to see a perfect solution. (And it’s entirely possible that there isn’t one.)


Postpartum Anxiety.
So yes, there are parts of myself that I choose not to share on Bonzai. That’s pretty obvious I guess, since I’ve never gabbed about my sex life and I’ve never discussed the specifics of my finances. And along those lines, something that I’ve kept private is the difficulty I’ve experienced as a parent. Becoming a mother has been a really rough transition for me, actually, and I struggle with it . . . a lot.

It wasn’t even until a few months ago, more than 18 months postpartum, that I realized my suffering went beyond the normal aches and pains of adjustment. That it was more than just me being bad at this (which, sadly, is something I’d considered).

The problem is that they always talk about postpartum depression, and I didn’t feel depressed. I wasn’t sad or listless or losing sleep or extra sleepy or losing weight or extra hungry or any of those other signs of depression. I was just . . . anxious. All the time. And irritable and short-tempered and angry. As a pacifist and someone who deeply values compassion and communication and cooperation, this was pretty horrifying for me. It threw me for a loop and consequently, I’ve been cloaked in shame and self-doubt for a very, very long time. And all the while, I didn’t really realize it was happening.

I don’t want to get into the details of it here (this is an epically long post as it is), but if you’re interested in learning more about postpartum anxiety, you should read this blog post, because it describes what I’ve experienced to a tee. Like, exactly. I couldn’t have written it better myself.

I just want to say, now, that I’m so sorry for keeping this from you. At first I was just confused, and then it grew into embarrassment, and eventually self-loathing settled in. I know that mental health issues carry an unfair stigma and I wish I’d had more of a grasp on what was really happening to me, so that I could have shared my process with you. As it was, I hardly even realized it was happening, and mostly I was just trying to put my head down and hold strong, get through it, and put on a pretty face in the meantime.

I’m sorry.


But ultimately, my life is too full.
Since Waits was born I’ve written two books, maintained a thrice-weekly blog-posting schedule, and kept up with freelance writing work, all while parenting full time, trying to be a good wife and partner, keeping house, and making most of our food from scratch. Oh, and being a dog mom and chicken guardian and farmer/gardener. It’s a lot that I’ve been juggling.

Over the years, one of the most frequent questions I’ve received is: “How the hell do you do it all?” Ha! But I’ll tell you the truth. For the first time, I’ll actually answer the damn question.

It comes at great cost. In order to “do” so much and give so much of myself, I set aside the things which are the most important. I sacrifice my relationships.

I skip relaxing craft nights with girlfriends, and evenings spent on double dates, and unlimited afternoon reading time with my kid, and weekends away and weekends doing *nothing* at all and having the space in my day for a spontaneous picnic, and all the other moments that make life, you know . . . sort of actually worth living. Not that I never have fun, because I do, but so much of it – too much of it – is buried under a pile of stress and deadlines, pushed back with promises of “later” and “when/then”.

I. Am. So. Burned. Out.

I’m an atheist, did you know that? So no afterlife for me. I only get one shot. I used to believe that in my 100 or so years of existence, I had to make my indelible mark on the world. Do something great. Secure my spot in the annals of history so that I’d be . . . remembered.

But I don’t think that’s what it’s about, anymore. Because even the most important person ever – even Mozart or Einstein or Alexander the Great – even they are just a blip in the entirety of human history, and all of human history is just a blip in the entirety of the Universe. I know that it sounds like a 14-year-old’s acid trip “deep thought”, but for me, it’s been an epiphany.

If I only get 100 or so years of existence, I better make damn sure that I enjoy them.

~~~

So, why am I telling you all this?

Because I need to step away. I need to stop blogging. It breaks my heart and I’ve fought it for a long time, but I know, deep down, that it has to happen. At least for now.

I need to clear everything out so that I can really see. I need some quiet so that I can take stock. I need to slow down. I need to know what it feels like to not always live a week (or a month) behind at my life. I need to find my happy, because I seem to have misplaced it.

So this is my goodbye-for-now. This is my goodbye to Bonzai.

I’ll still be around the Internet though, sharing interesting finds and my freelance articles on my Facebook page. And tweeting my general musing, random thoughts, and silly silliness, through my Twitter. I’m sure I’ll continue to flood the net with photos of my kid, via @sayward on Instagram (or Followgram) (also Tumblr) And I’ll definitely continue to obsessively curate my little collections on my Pinterest boards. Bonzai will stay here, just exactly as it is now.

But yeah, who am I kidding. That’s not the same. And this hurts. I have a knot in my belly the size of Kansas and I feel like I’m letting everyone down, and I’m sorry, and I’ll miss you. I just really hope you can understand.

And I hope that I’ll see you ‘round the Internet.

And I hope you know how sincerely I cherish you. Thank you so much for being a part of this.

With all my love and from the bottom of my heart,

*** I’ve been absent lately when it comes to answering comments, questions, and emails. I’m sure it was just my way of keeping some [emotional] distance as I prepared for this post. But I want you to know, I *will* be going through and responding to everything. It may take me some time, but I will.

As well, I’m about halfway through my Great Grand Diet Trial. Im not one who likes to leave unfinished business, so I do plan to post the rest of that series. Eventually.

1. Green juice in the winter sun; 2. new vintage scores set my heart aflutter; 3. bread-stravaganza

Oi Oi! Hellooooo there, and happy Friday! LOOK OUT! *whoosh* that’s the sound of this week flying by. Right?? I can’t believe the weekend is here already!

~~~

And you know what that means! Without further ado, please bring on Le Love List!

1. Massage.
Massaged: I got it. Ooooooh yeah. But get this, it was actually my birthday present from LAST year, my 30th b-day, from Damian. But what with the book-writing and the toddler-care-taking and the blog-posting and with life being oh-so-life-y all the damn time, well, I guess it slipped my mind. Damian emailed me last week saying “Uh, this is gonna expire if you don’t use it!”.

And so I did. A year and a few days later, I got my 30th birthday massage. For my 31st birthday!

And let me just tell you . . . I came home from that appointment and promptly placed a mason jar on top of my dresser. “Mommy’s Massage Fund”. Ohhhhh yes.


2. Retail Therapy.
I used my “off night” this week to take a long (long!) stroll through ye olde Value Village (ha!), blew some birthday cash and scored a few new bags (oh I heart you cheapy cheap Value Village!) of awesome winter clothes. It was just what I needed and oh-so-fun. ♥

3. Waits, the little vegan.
Waits loves to mimic everything that we say and do. He loves to talk on the “phone” (which could be anything from a wooden block to an apple), and one of his favorite phone calls is “ordering Thai food” (what does this say about Damian and I? haha). For a few weeks now he’s been picking up his “phone” and saying, “Hello! Thai?” . . . “Tofu” . . . “Mice!” (that’s rice)

But this week: “Hello! Thai?” . . . “Mice” . . . “No EGG!” . . . “No FEESH!

Ahhhhhhhhh! My head pretty much exploded at the sweetness. Also with that video up there? He is too much, I can’t take it!

Also! winter sun // dreaming and scheming with girlfriends // planning slumber parties // a 4-course, all-local, communal dining experience // reading Plate to Pixel and feeling so inspired // bright yellow // polka dots // finding new blogs and reading them “cover to cover” (what’s the blog equivalent?) and then feeling creepy because you have totally developed a one-sided “friendship” (COME ON WE ALL DO IT!) // but really, finding a blog worth reading like that is a rare and wonderful thing . . .

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


I hope you all have a sunny (or at least sunny-in-your-heart) weekend!

Good food . . .



Good times . . .



Good kid . . .


(and it’s a good thing he can’t read!) (that’s my old college calculator – his new favorite toy. ha!)



Oi Oi! Haaaaaappy Friday! I had a long week full of highs and lows, and I’m so glad that the weekend’s here. Bring on the fun times! Do you have anything fun planned for this weekend?

~~~

I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ve updated my Juice Beauty review from Monday. The kind folks at Juice Beauty are offering a special gift plus free shipping to Bonzai readers! Very cool – check it out!.

~~~

And with business out of the way, we move on to the goodness, the greatness, Le Love List!

1. This article.

“It’s helluva hard, isn’t it? You’re a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She’s my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime.”

I don’t usually put things like this on my love list, but this one really resonated with me. I think it will resonate with the rest of you parents, too. And just in case you’ve ever wondered – yes, I relate to and have felt EVERY thing expressed in that article. Yup yup.


2. New friends.
Awesome women coming into my life these days, from all directions, just when I need them. Thanks for the talks and the coffee and the coffee with vodka, for the baby wrangling and the longer-than-we-needed drives home, for the commiseration and the understanding, and for letting me look like an ass (literally) when I showed up with the ass of my shorts split wide open (unbeknownst to me) (NOT my finest moment). But really, thanks.


3. MY BIRTHDAY!!!
Sunday is the day, but the whole weekend will be for celebrating. Yay! Fun times! BRING IT ON!

Also! walking and talking in the rain with my baby zipped up completely under my sweatshirt // Grey’s Anatomy marathons that go past midnight . . . every night // our weekly trip to the library to pick a new book // Waits starting to make sentences // planning for future endeavors (what to do, what to do???) // dreaming of fermented adventures // snow // MY BIRTHDAY . . .

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


I hope you all have a spectacular weekend!

My week

What a week! And it’s Friday night and it’s after 10 and I’m just now able to sit down and write, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Straight into . . .


. . . Le Love List!


1. Dentist!.
It’s been over three years, oh god, and I was scared. But I have NO new cavities and I have EXCELLENT bone health and my gingivitis is minor and a direct result of nursing-related hormones (ie, will clear up when Waits weans). Fixed a cracked crown. Polished up the ol’ chompers and whattaya know, underneath the green juice and coffee stains, they’re still pretty pearly white. Wahoo!


2. Midwife.
All’s clear on the southern front! I also relinquished eight or so vials of blood for various hormone, nutrition, and general health tests. Results are trickling in but so far my thyroid is spectacular, my hormone levels all seem normal, and my serum B12 is in the upper range of normal, yay! (I use this spray, by the way) So far so good (great, even) but I’m still waiting for a few tests. I’m quite curious about my vitamin D levels . . .

NO I’M NOT PREGNANT! haha

Ironic apron for the win.

3. Bread From Scratch
Last weekend I baked my first loaf of soaked and soured (ie fermented) bread, using the sourdough starter I inherited from my father-in-law over the holidays. I can’t quite describe the feeling I got from baking my own bread, lovingly getting it started late the night before, waking up early with Waits to knead together on the kitchen floor, checking in on it throughout the day, and then finally, that smell that crept through the whole house as it warmed in the oven for dinner. It was maybe the best bread I’ve ever had, and making it made me feel indescribably, inexplicably happy.

There will be more bread, oh yes but there will be more bread!

Also! raw lemon bars // Waits riding on my back as I crawl around the house on all fours // long walks with the ones I love // triple batches of my raw tahini dip // Waits getting giddy over “burfs” and “fwaps” (burps and farts, of course) // Waits starting to string multiple words together // spinach salad with kalamata olives, red onions, raw garlic, nutritional yeast, and grated carrot, oh my god I just can’t get enough! // the couch which is calling my name . . .

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


Have a wonderful weekend guys!

Now that the holidays are over and done, the madness has finally died down, and winter is really setting in (except not, hello temps in the 50s in January!), I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend of puttering around the house. Snugs with the family. DIY home improvement projects and midnight crafting. Some day I’ll start going to bed by 11 . . . but not today. Yay weekend!

~~~

And now let’s get to the good stuff: Le Love List!


1. Gardening in January.
The weather this week has been wild, reaching up into the mid-50s, and sunny. Squee! Waits and I took full advantage and finally were able to put the garden to bed for reals. Pulled out all the dead and dried plants, and spread some hay for good measure. Waits really, really loves to garden and seeing his enthusiasm is just such a pleasure.


2. Being featured on The Huffington Post.
!!!

No really, !!!

I’ve been taking on some freelance work these past few months, and this week one of my articles made it onto the Huffington Post. Ain’t gonna lie, I’m pretty proud!


3. TCB
Taking Care of Business, as Elvis used to say. Dental health, mental health, and the health of my girly bits too. Life Insurance. Harley’s tumor. Smog check.

T. C. B.

Also! road trips // lavender satchets // hummus and olives // watching the hens mud bathe in winter, they’re so cute and happy! // watching Waits try to have a conversation with Siri (the iPhone’s “intelligent personal assistant”), which is absolutely adorable and hysterical // Pinterest // cooked greens and raw desserts // my cast iron pan! . . .

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


Happy weekend guys! Make it a great one!

My little family is hitting the road for Ashland, Oregon, where one of my closest friends will be getting married – in a little used book shop! – on new years day. The couple is made up of two writers and I think the idea of binding their union amongst the books is so freakin’ sweet. It promises to be an awesome weekend and I can’t wait!

~~~

And now, the goodness, the greatness, the best tool in your kit for practicing positivity, Le Love List:

1. Finally having a proper Hanukkah, the last in the line of awesome holidays we observed this winter. Or, alternately, Being An Atheist.
Everyone is different and I can only speak for myself, but I feel really lucky that I was able to grow up exposed to – and participating in – all sorts of customs and religions and beliefs. I never had any sacred dogma pushed on me by my parents (moral yes, religious no) and that allowed me to make my own connections to various spiritual and cultural rituals. Now as an adult, I love that I get to celebrate lots of holidays, and each one has it’s own cherished meaning to me. As a mother, I look forward to providing the same opportunity for Waits.


2. Fashion.
It comes in such spurts for me! Sometimes I couldn’t care less about clothing and I feel so totally lost about how to dress myself and what might appeal to me. Other times, like recently, I’m completely inspired by everything, delighted to play dress-up each morning and empowered by feeling I get from putting in a little extra effort. I’ve been poring over fashion blogs (alas, there aren’t many that match my style – I never claimed to be trendy!) and tumblr feeds and Pinterest. What excites me most these days is multi-toned candy-colored hair, Helsinki street style, vintage frocks, awesome leg wear, and overalls done right. Where do you find your fashion inspiration?



3. Deliveries!
The website Raw Food World had a special holiday sale (discount code Holiday18, not sure if it’s still good) that I just couldn’t pass up. They offer “at-cost” specials and with the coupon on top – whooo boy! I was a very happy camper when this box of goodies arrived! I got: 1 lb Maca, 1 lb Mesquite, 1 lb Irish Moss, 3 x 1 lb bags of kelp noodles (they last forever in the fridge and they’re really expensive here in town), some Rawmesan “topping” that I’ve always wanted to try, a 1000-tablet pack of Chlorella tabs (great for traveling!), a jar of Spearmint Tooth Soap, and 2 tubes of Hurraw! raw vegan lip balm.

Now I’m stocked up and super excited for superfood smoothies, supergreen cereals, and a super high-raw winter!

Also! reflecting and re-centering before the new year // lists! // black cherry lip balm, mmmm // finding the shiny side // knowing that happiness and success and relationships take work; working // Harley snuggles for Glee marathons // the amazing readers here on Bonzai who never ease to touch me and inspire me and brighten my life // road trips! . . .

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


Happy weekend, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~~~

And now, because isn’t there just so much to be thankful for? Le Love List!

1. Taking Care Of My Family
I spent every night this week staying up laaaate, wrapping presents. (It’s so strange how every day, I do things that my own parents did for me, but for some reason, being on “the other side of the Christmas tree”, makes me feel like *such* a parent, know what I mean?) Anyway, I spent a lot of hours lovingly packaging gifts, getting super creative, determined not to purchase any wrapping products. Re-using and repurposing for the win!

On Friday I made the dogs a big batch of Christmas treats. Tonight I cooked a vegan feast for all my in-laws, and everyone loved it.

These little acts, so very simple, fill me up with so much love. Yay holidays!


2. Daydreaming of Tropical Vacations
Hawaii in January for my birthday? Perhaps? Or Merida in February? Why not?

Damian and I have been scheming and dreaming and looking up flights for a little winter getaway. Okay, so it probably won’t happen. But that’s okay – sometimes the imaging is enough!


3. This Video.
Not safe for work. From Funny Or Die – and definitely funny!

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


Have a wonderful, love-filled weekend my friends! Happy Holidays!

New favorite toy: menorah, er, “mah nee nee” // New favorite dinner: matzo ball soup!

Oi there, hello my dears! Another week has come and gone and we roll ever onward into this holiday season. I’m so excited! Everything’s stacked on top of each other this year, just BAM! BAM! BAM! one after another. Hanukkah, then Solstice, then Christmas, all in a 6-day span. Woo-Hoo! It’s going to be a busy weekend . . .

~~~

So, you may or may not know that I am slowly (VERY! SLOWLY!) working on a side project: CompassionateFamilies.com. This will be a comprehensive web resource for all things veg*n family, from pregnancy through to the teenage years. It’s going to be RAD, featuring static resource pages, a blog that’s made up mostly of individual contributions, and a whole honkin’ discussion forum for people to meet and help each other out. Like I said, RAD!

But it’s going to be a while. In the meantime, here on Bonzai I’ve backed off on writing specifically about veg*n pregnancy and child-rearing, because I’ve wanted to “save” that stuff for Compassionate Families. However, I’m thinking of changing that. I have an idea for a series, called “My Vegan Pregnancy”, where women share their own personal experiences. Anyone interested in submitting their story? Contact me! info AT bonzaiaphrodite DOT com.

~~~

And now, one big fat cherry of gratitude to top off another wonderful week. Le Love List!


1. It’s heeeeere!
Rawesomely Vegan, the uncookbook that I contributed to, arrived in the mail this week. It’s so purty! I can’t wait till it’s officially on sale mid-January!



2. I’m Featured in VegNews!
I’m in the current issue of VegNews (which isn’t quite out yet? I think?) I haven’t actually seen it – just this picture – but apparently it’s a full page (???). It’s for a new feature where they ask people to give a little write-up of their most recent vegan-related reads. And they asked me! Squee! So crazy.

3. This Video.
No really, just watch it.

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


Happy holiday prep, happy weekend, and happy happy days to you!

At the start of our solo 10-hour travel day . . .

Nearing the end, 9 bleary-eyed hours later!

Oi there, hello hello! We made it through our first week back, which is aways both a challenge and a pleasure. I love returning to normal life, of re-establishing routine, and, to be honest, just puttering puttering puttering about my domestic duties. But it’s also difficult! With a toddler, “routine” is a relative term, an ever-evolving abstraction. So let’s just say . . . Thank God It’s Friday!

~~~

***UPDATE!***

Late last spring I shared that I’d taken on a new project: curating a collection of recipes for an upcoming raw foods “cook book”, tentatively titled Rawesome! The announcement was met with a lot of support and enthusiasm, but then . . . I sort of never wrote about it again!

That’s not to say I haven’t been working my little tuckus off. I’ve been an un-cooking machine! My role in producing this book ended up being that of a consultant and contributor, which was quite demanding (and suited me just fine). Now, many many months later, Rawesomely Vegan! is almost ready for release. It’s an epic volume that boasts over 300 recipes – and over 100 of them came directly from me!

Rawesomely Vegan! hits the shelves on January 18th. I CAN HARDLY WAIT!

~~~

Another little announcement, this one from the vegan community. As many of you know, I’m a serious podcasting junkie. And my current favorite show is the brilliant, the inspiring, the perfect blend of intellectualism and humor that is Our Hen House. This Saturday (tomorrow) marks their 100th episode, and will feature two incredible figures in the vegan/animal rights movement: Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Peter Singer. It’s going to be an awesome show (just like all their shows) and I hope you’ll give it a listen! Our Hen House episodes are available on their website, but are also free for download on iTunes. Enjoy!

~~~

And now, the best way to kick off an incredible weekend, Le Love List:

1. Cooking Classes . . . RAW Cooking Classes . . . RAW DESSERT Cooking Classes.
Yessss! This evening I’ll be joining a good friend for a super-fun class taught by none other than Natalia KW (from the raw cupcake book of course!). Need I say more? Yeah, it’s gonna be pretty amazing. I’ll take lots of chocolate-y pictures!

2. Free To Be You And Me.
I can’t stop listening to this! Was anyone else here raised by hippies, growing up listening to this record (yes, I had it on VINYL when I was FIVE, ha!) It’s a children’s album from the seventies, and it’s a whole collection of fantastic propaganda designed to teach children about equality (mostly gender issues). It is SO WONDERFUL, in a delightfully outdated and tacky way, but the messages are still spot on and the music is just plain fun. Waits loves it and I love knowing that he’s getting a bit of an education while we rock out.

The whole album is available on Spotify, and it’s also floating around (in pieces) on YouTube. The above is one of my favorite, and also this poem:

You know, there are times when we happen to be
Just sitting there, quietly watching TV,
When the program we’re watching will stop for a while
And suddenly someone appears with a smile,
And starts to show us how terribly urgent
It is to buy some brand of detergent,
Or soap or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
To help with the housework.
Now, most of the time it’s a lady we see,
Who’s doing the housework on TV.
She’s cheerfully scouring a skillet or two,
Or she’s polishing pots till they gleam like new,
Or she’s scrubbing the tub or she’s mopping the floors,
Or she’s wiping the stains from the walls and the doors,
Or she’s washing the windows, the dishes, the clothes,
Or waxing the furniture till it just glows,
Or cleaning the fridge or the stove or the sink,
With a light-hearted smile, and a friendly wink,
And she’s doing her best to make us think
That her soap, or detergent or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
Is the best kind of soap, or detergent or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach,
That there is in the whole wide world.
And, maybe it is, and maybe it isn’t,
And maybe it does what they say it will do,
But I’ll tell you one thing I know is true.
The lady we see when we’re watching TV,
The lady who smiles as she scours or scrubs or rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans,
Or whatever she does on our TV screens,
That lady is smiling because she’s an actress,
And she’s earning money for learning those speeches
That mention those wonderful soaps and detergents and cleansers and cleaners and powders and pastes and waxes and bleaches.
So, the very next time you happen to be
Just sitting there quietly watching TV,
And you see some nice lady who smiles
As she scours or scrubs or rubs or washes or wipes or mops or dusts or cleans,
Remember, nobody smiles doing housework but those ladies you see on TV.
Your mommy hates housework,
Your daddy hates housework,
I hate housework too.
And when you grow up, so will you.
Because even if the soap or cleanser or cleaner or powder or paste or wax or bleach
That you use is the very best one,
Housework is just no fun.
Children, when you have a house of your own,
Make sure, when there’s house work to do,
That you don’t have to do it alone.
Little boys, little girls, when you’re big husbands and wives,
If you want all the days of your lives
To seem sunny as summer weather,
Make sure, when there’s housework to do,
That you do it together!


Oh, and this one is just spectacular:

3. Working On Waits’s Bedroom.
Slowly but surely, little bit by bit, we’re piecing together a bedroom for the bubs. He hasn’t really needed one yet, since he co-sleeps and and all. He’s already got a lot of toys in the guest room and we play in there all the time. But now we’re making it official! He’ll have his very own space, which is important, and it’s so fun to plan! I want to make it just the awesomest, most funnest, most wonderful little boy bedroom ever! Hey, a mama can dream, right?

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


Happy happy weekend, please take good care, and do something extra special for yourself!

“It’s cool guys, no worries. I got it from here!”

Happy Weekend!!!

~~~

And now to slip on that attitude of gratitude, that ever-essential weekend send-off, Le Love List!

This week has been so full of so many things to love that I can’t possible rank them or name them all, but here’s a solid attempt:

GREEEEEEEEEN JUUUUUUUUUUICE // my big beautiful family of both blood and bond, I am so lucky to have you and I’m thankful every day! // being emotionally open; showing vulnerability; being supported there // cruising Whole Foods with my amazing incredible spectacular boy child, sharing green juice chatting our way through the aisles. he is growing up so damn fast // today I had a raw lemon mini tart by Hail Merry and it was easily the best store-bought raw dessert I’ve ever eaten // two amazing women named Kate, who each inspire me in different ways // watching almost an entire season of Ru Paul’s Drag Race in one sitting, with vegan pizza delivery and spicy seasonal beer – now THAT’s a mother-effin’ vacation! (so much love to my girl Kate!) // walking around dowtown SB, narrating my youth to Waits “see that? Mommy used to work at that coffeehouse! and see this? this is where Mommy climbed up to do that crazy photo shoot in high school! and over there, in that ally there? that’s where Mommy used to smoke . . . er . . . well never mind about that! Mommy used to have a lot of fun there *ahem* moving on” // the beach the beach the beach, and how every time we go outside now Waits says “beesh! beesh!” // very dear friends-of-the-family who tell me stories about my mother // oatmeal with roasted almond butter and jam // daiya-corn tortilla quesadillas // missing Damian // feeling totally, utterly sun-soaked and ready to face the Portland winter // dreaming up Waits’s Christmas list and feeling excited about Christmas for the first time since I was a kid // getting ready for Hanukkah and getting ready for “veganized matzoh-ball soup”, attempt number 2! // AMAZING emails from Bonzai readers that light me up and touch my heart and gosh, I hope you guys know how much you mean to me // driving the backroads of my home town, with Waits napping in the back, with the radio on, with the sun shining bright, with my mind at peace, and thinking “Yeah, I think I could be happy living here again” (no actual plans of moving, I promise you’d know!) // conceptualizing a redesign, a Bonzai 2.0 // making this for non-vegans (let alone RAW vegans) and getting rave reviews // gaining a few pounds is always a sign of a good vacation, right? HA . . .

~~~

Alright guys, now it’s your turn – tell me what you’re loving this week!


My darlings, this happy little post will stay at the top of the page all weekend, so stop by any time to leave your Love List, ask a question, or offer some feedback! Or if you’re new, please introduce yourself and say ‘Oi!’! This is your community, so get involved!


Much much love my dears, and a wonderful weekend to you!