It’s a bit of a long one, and tangential too, but please bear with me because this story encapsulates basically everything I love about being a random lump of flesh floating on a green rock in outer space, about this beautiful Universe, about happenstance and coincidence and chances, about synchronicity and everything sacred, and also, about really nothing at all.

It’s about how my little family ended up traipsing across the wild and desolate California desert, in the middle of literal nowhere, following one of my wildest dreams and hunting for 26-million-year-old crystals. I don’t believe in fate, not for one second. But I do believe that we all have the power to drive forward into our own fantastical futures.

So here’s the story of how I drove us into this one. And it starts on an airplane, in 2013, with this really annoying businessman who kept buying rounds of drinks for the entire row . . .




LA to Portland. It was a late-night flight. He’d probably already had a few in the airport bar. I was excited, returning to Portland for the first time since I’d moved away, and for the Vida Vegan blogging conference no less. I was in for a week of old friends and new friends and great food and so much fun, so even though I’m antisocial by nature (introvert power!), on this particular flight I was feeling a bit chatty. I was seated on the aisle, then in the center seat was a woman, and then next to her at the window was our libatious benefactor. He just kept buying rounds. So we chatted.

The woman. Kim. She’s hard to describe. Kim is VERY intense. Kim has opinions and you’re going to hear them. And she’s a real badass. Of the “No, I REALLY don’t care what you think of me” variety. And you know she means it. At the time, she was working overnight security on the Metro, Portland’s public transit system. Basically, Kim is fuckin’ metal.

We talked all the way to Portland. Don’t ask me why. I never talk to people on planes. Never. Like, as a policy (introvert power!). But something was different that night. I talked with Kim, and sort of with Drunky McDrunkersons, for the whole flight. And by the time we were landing, she and I were becoming Facebook friends. Another thing I just don’t do.

My sister picked me up at the airport, and I went off on my merry way. I never saw Kim again. That was 2013, remember.

But Kim and I stayed Facebook friends for 5 whole years. I followed along with her life and she followed along with mine. We shared a lot of the same politics, and she’s very outspoken. I appreciated that. So even though we’d only met the once, she somehow made it past all of my [many] Facebook friend purges. 5 years!

And somewhere along the way, Kim began posting handmade jewelry. By then she had moved out to Las Vegas, and she was learning how to silversmith — making her own jewelry. And she was fitting the pieces with crystals that she had mined herself, in the desert.

I was enthralled.

Then, one day in February, 2018, Kim posted some photos of these deep purple amethyst clusters that she had collected the day before. I commented on the photos, asking where she found them. “A mountain,” she said. “I can’t say where …”

I replied that I understood, it was just such a dream of mine. Maybe someday. And to my total shock she responded “You can totally come with us! You just can’t put the location on social media.”

Oh my god.

That was in February, and it just so happened that we were deep in the process of planning our Spring Break Desert Road Trip for the end of March. With a little reconfiguring, we might actually be able to make that happen.

Oh my god.




And that’s how it came to be. This thing, that I never in my wildest dreams thought was possible. It actually happened.

That March, Waits and Jeremy and I woke up at dawn in a strange, surreal little truck stop/casino on the California-Nevada border. Our trunk was stuffed with pick axes and shovels and Gatorade, just as Kim had instructed.

We met her, and her husband Brandy, in the parking lot. A reunion after 5 years. And then we were off, caravanning into the desert, to a secret location. To a mountain. In the middle of absolutely nowhere.

We had to hike for miles just to get to the right place. Carrying everything.

Waits was such a trooper. It was a full day of work, dawn to dusk. Hiking and digging, it was aching work under the relentless desert sun. No shade, no respite.

And we loved every single second of it.

It’s hard to describe the majesty and the magic that I felt out there. Absolute quiet. Heat like a heavy blanket. Screaming muscles. Stillness. Standing shoulder-deep in a vein, covered in dust and sweat and sticky prickly plants, broken fingernails and scraped skin reaching deeper into the earth. Wrapping my fingers around something so pure and precious, 26 million years in the making.

It was so powerful. Indescribably powerful. Transcendent.

So, that’s my story.

I never would have imagined, when I accepted that drink from that annoying businessman and started talking to the loud, no-bullshit lady next to me, that the story would have led me to this day.

You just never know. You just never, ever know.

Belize is the most beautiful snorkeling and diving destination you’ve maybe/probably never heard of. The majority of people I talk to have only a very general sense of the country (“Is it somewhere in Central America?” (yes) and “They speak Spanish there, right?” (no) is how the conversation usually goes). I feel like Belize is sort of still a secret, which is why I’m so excited to share my Belizean adventures here. I fell completely in love with this country, and I want to share that love!

Belize is an equatorial paradise, with a rich melting pot of people and culture, lush tropical jungles full of incredible wildlife, pristine Mayan ruins, that crystal clear Caribbean water, and of course — some of the very best snorkeling and diving in the entire world.

The barrier reef off the coast of Belize is the second largest in the entire world. But even though it’s a developing country with limited resources, Belize has taken great care to preserve and protect the integrity of the space. This reef is practically pristine, because there are strict regulations in place to protect it. It’s inspiring!

You can access the reef from many parts of Belize — it essentially spans the entirety of the coastline. We were in the north, staying on the tiny island of Caye Caulker, and we did a lot of research for our snorkeling trip. With over 1,200 reviews and maintaining a 5-star rating on Trip Advisor, Caveman Snorkeling Tours was the clear winner.

We booked the full day tour, which promised a minimum of 7 stops. It didn’t disappoint.


First Stop: The Coral Gardens

Perfect for our first dip and to test our gear, the Coral Gardens is a sprawling and diverse collection of corals in relatively shallow water, with a mellow, gentle current. I didn’t even know you could see so many different types of coral all in one place.

Alas, none of my pics could accurately capture the beauty of the wildlife. So, no flora and fauna photos here.

However I did learn an important snorkeling lesson: your mask will seal fine, you don’t need to make it THAT tight.

Hol Chan is Mayan for “little channel”. The Hol Chan Reserve is Belize’s oldest marine reserve, and was established by Belizean conservationists who were concerned over the unchecked fishing and diving on the reef.

This stop was absolutely incredible: a 45-minute guided snorkeling tour through the reef. We saw barracudas and moray eels and sharks and turtles and rays, dozens of beautiful and brightly colored tropical fish, and about a hundred different types of corals.

Chatto’s Place is a shallow area in the middle of the ocean, where an old conch fisherman (that’s Chatto) used to come every day to clean his catch. Which means that the entire sea floor, in this one particular place, is covered with discarded conch shells.

We didn’t get any pictures from this spot, but it was totally unique.


4: Shark Ray Alley

Another spot in the middle of the ocean, this is an area where all the fisherman used to congregate to clean their catch. The sharks learned to come to the sound of the boats idling there, knowing that the water would be full of the fishermen’s throw-aways. And now, so many years later, they still come.

YOU GUYS! It was an actual sunken shipwreck! I die.

All of my life I’ve dreamed of swimming with manatees. They live all along the coast of Belize, but they’re transient and seasonal, so you never know if you’re going to get to see them. And man oh man, I sooo wanted to see them! Crossed all my fingers and all my toes, and then there at the very end — there they were!

There were two more stops on our trip — one to hand-feed giant tarpons, and one to visit a seahorse preserve (we saw wild seahorses!), but I didn’t take any pictures of those. Bad blogger. Sorry!

All in all, this day was absolutely magical and completely exceeded my expectations.

It was a long day in the sun with tons of swimming, and by the time our boat docked, we were utterly exhausted. Jeremy and I wandered out to the farthest point on the island, found a large stump to sit on, and watched the sun set over the Caribbean.

Perfect.

When I was just a wee baby blogger, I wrote a Love Letter to autumn. To quote: “I want to curl up with a strong cup of coffee and write and write and write. I want to put on moody music and map my future on scented stationary. Today I want to pen my manifesto, find myself a bullhorn, and sing my dream to the world.”

Gosh I was young, back in 2010.

But of course, autumn still does that to me. Not that I’m curling up and penning manifestos these days . . . But at work every day after lunch, I take a long walk at Campus Point. Out along the bluffs, dusty and dotted with ice plant, and the occasional twisted evergreen stretching itself so far out over the ocean, just daring the cliffside to crumble. I love walking high above the beach. Watching the waves toss pebbles onto the sand. Autumn oceans are turbulent; brilliant cobalt blue but capped with heaving whitewater. It’s not the still sea of summer. And I love it. I may not be unholstering my bullhorn these days, but autumn still fills me with fire. I’m reflecting. Reflecting on everything.

It’s a good way to go into winter. I’m ready to set some new intentions. Ready to hibernate for a spell, cocoon myself up and grow some pretty new wings for spring.

And I hope that you are too! Are you still out there in Internet land? I mean, of course you are. And whether you’ll find this blog post, or whether you never do, I hope you’ve had a really wonderful autumn. ♥

Okay, here are a few of my favorite moments:

And that brings us to now. November. Deep autumn, readying for winter. Dreaming of solstices and holidays, long dark nights and lots of cozy time. I’m really looking forward to it.

Okay, now it’s time for the one, the only, Le Love List! I’ve been saving it up on my phone again, a little list of happy that travels with me wherever I go . . .

Being naked. // Not getting sick. My strong-as-hell immune system. // Waits helping me cook, and his enthusiasm for it. // BABIES! (still) // Feeling genuinely impressed with myself. // Doing guided meditations for Waits at bedtime (early autumn). // Waits reading himself to sleep every night, wrapped up in his blankies with his little headlamp to light the pages (late autumn). // Intentional parenting. Working on that — getting better at that. // An old friend called me up, while he was driving back from his young daughter’s back-to-school night. He had met all the other parents there — all these good, smart, nice, normal people. And he couldn’t connect with anyone. He said “Everything that came out of my mouth seemed to just hang in the air. I felt like everything I said was weird and everything I did was wrong. I’m an alien. I don’t fit in with normal people . . . So I just wanted to call and talk to someone who really knows me, and loves me.” I know the feeling, my friend. And I do love you. So much. ♥ // My sleep mask, which allows me to sleep in late, no matter what. Preeeeeecious. // My home apothecary, which makes me so proud. // The way that Jeremy laughs over, and over, and over again while watching this gif. // The last few months at work have been so intense. I joined the team less than a year ago, and now I’m leading the whole team while my boss is on maternity leave. It’s a huge endeavor with a million balls in the air at all times, with ~1,000 students depending on me, with so much pressure and very little room for error. Three months ago I imagined that at this point I wold pretty much be holed up in my office, hiding under my desk weeping and eating my feelings. Or something equally disastrous. But instead, it’s just . . . worked. I’ve worked it. It’s all gone so smoothly, and I’m in charge, and I’m doing it, and it’s all working out. It feels pretty freaking awesome, man.

So alright, that’s it for now. I’m hoping to be back here soon with a holiday DIY tutorial (is it too late for “homemade holidays” tutorials? Did I already miss the boat on that one?)

As always, thank you so much for reading. Thank you for being out there, and for checking in here. I’d love to hear from you in a comment below! And I hope you have a really wonderful winter.

If you ever want to see what I’m up to, check out my Instagram. I’ve recently discovered Instagram stories and I’m preeeeeeetty obsessed.

Lots of love!

♥

Helloooooo! Hello hello, it’s been a long time! I hope you all had a wonderful summer, the kind that relaxes your spirit and fills your cup right up to the top. We sure did! So I thought I’d pop in, and say hi, and make a little “Pictures Of Things + Le Love List” type post, for old times sake.

First a little update: When I stepped away from blogging last spring, I did so with some very specific goals in mind. I wanted to live more completely and intentionally, to relax and remain present instead of always feeling swept along in the daily labors of my life. I wanted to spend more time with my family — real quality time. I wanted to deepen my magickal practice, and to increase my real-life activism, and to be a more involved mother. And I really wanted to focus on nourishing and deepening my friendships.

I’m so happy to say, looking back on this summer, that’s just exactly what I’ve done.

It’s working. I miss blogging and I sure do miss this space, but at least I’m getting exactly what I’d hoped to gain. So here’s what summer 2017 has looked like, at least in little bits and pieces. I’ve actually been terrible about taking pictures (a by-product of renouncing the title of “blogger”, I guess), but these are a few of my favorite moments:

Waits and I took a trip to Portland, just the two of us. It was really special to travel together for a whole week, and even more special because it was Waits’s first time back to Portland since we’d moved away!

That’s right, 5 years later wee Waits Rebhal made his Pacific Northwestern return. IT WAS SO FUN. He reunited with so many of his little weegan pals, and it was truly a beautiful reunion (no seriously, click on that link, it’s heart-meltingly adorable), and we also got to spend some much-needed time with family.

The second half of the summer seemed to mosey right along, nothing too spectacular and everything easy peasy. It was a lemon squeezy kind of summer.

And then, so suddenly it seemed, it was all coming to an end. It was the very last weekend of summer vacation, and we were camping again. With the same adventure mama and her wee adventure boy, and Jeremy too this time! A summer sandwiched neatly between two epic camping trips. It was perfect.

It was a wonderful final weekend; a respite and a chance to recharge before diving back into the chaos. Waits was starting second grade (!!!) and I was also starting a new beginning that Monday. My boss had gone on maternity leave, and I was stepping into her position for a few months.

I’m the boss, now. (sometimes I look around and wonder — how did I actually get here???)

On the final Sunday morning, the same ritual. A new set of intentions. Written in magic, inked on leaves. Our dreams for autumn . . .

And now, it’s time for the one, the only, Le Love List! I’ve been saving it on my phone all summer, adding little events as they occur . . .

Impromptu family dance parties in the kitchen. There have been quite a few of those, actually . . . // Jeremy introducing Waits to Bruce Lee. // BABIES. All my friends are on “round two” it seems (haha, oh 30s) and my nearest and dearest are pregnant or with newborns, and it’s soooo good. I keep catching baby fever (not good) but spending time with the wee ones is enough to set me straight. I’ll be wacky Aunt Say to a whole little crop of witchling children, and I’m so excited. ♥ // In that vein, I really did catch Baby Fever like whoa. And Jeremy and I did a lot of deep soul-searching, long late-night conversations that lasted weeks. But finally, we came around to the place we’ve always been: one and done. So now we’re dreaming and scheming of all the thing we’ll get to do instead, and that’s pretty dang fun as well! // After completely burning out a few years ago, rediscovering the glory of the massaged kale salad. NOM. // Waits walking around the house in his little miniature plaid boxers that Jeremy bought him, because he wanted big-boy boxers just like Jeremy. ♥ // Wine on the beach with girlfriends. Like, weekly. // Saying the words “It’s going to be tough, but it will be really good for my career” for the first time because really for the first time, *I have a legit career*. And holy shit that’s an amazing feeling. // The woman who owns my neighborhood Botánica. She always knows which candles and powders and charms I need, and she always tries to undercharge me. She is one of the kindest women I’ve ever met. // Dinners composed entirely of chips and salsa and guacamole and refried beans and margaritas. That’s pretty much my eating-out summer standard. // Feeling confident. No, I mean *really* confident. For the first time in my entire life. Feeling like I’ve finally arrived at this place I always wanted to be — where I’m strong and happy and kicking ass and having fun and doing good work and living authentically. It’s real. This place is real.

So alright guys, that does it for me, for now. Thanks for reading. I hope with all my heart that all of you have had an incredible summer. If you feel compelled to leave a Love List, I’d love to hear it!

Happy Monday, happy week, and happy impending autumn. I hope it brings you everything you wish!

♥

At the beginning of the year I announced, sort of on a whim, that I would be doing a “Pictures Of Things + Le Love List” post every single week in 2017. This one was supposed to be 20/52. But instead of hitting publish that week, I just stalled. And procrastinated. The truth is, I didn’t know how to put into words this thing that I’ve come to realize. I don’t know how else to say . . . I don’t want to be a blogger anymore.

I’ve been trying to find a gentler way of expressing that. And I feel like I owe you guys an explanation, so I’ve been trying to find the right words.

I still don’t think I have them, but here goes nothing.

I’ve been blogging for a long time. I mean, a really long time. And over the course of these 8 years, I have had the opportunity to do so many amazing things, and to travel, and to learn and grow. I’ve shared my highs and my lows, from birth to divorce, and pretty much everything in between. It’s been beautiful, for me, to be able to do that.

And it’s been beautiful to meet all of you. Over the years I have talked to hundreds if not thousands of people. People from all over the world. Interesting, inspiring, unique, fearless, fabulous people. And I am so grateful for that.

Back when I first started this blog, I really felt like I had a lot to share. I was practically bursting at the seems with it, so excited to learn and to grow and to play — and to do it all in public, sharing my process with anyone willing to pull up a keyboard.

But along the way, that feeling has changed for me. And especially over the last half a year or so, I’ve really felt myself transitioning into a new phase of life. And that phase feels, in many ways, a lot smaller. It also feels so much richer, and so much fuller, than my life has felt in a long time. But I’m definitely turning inward. And I just don’t feel compelled to share it in the same way that I used to.

This poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay has been my sort of creed for the past decade:

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—
It gives a lovely light!

I’ve always reveled in my frenzied life. A million projects, a million ideas, a million plans. My most frequently asked question from readers is “How do you do it all?” And I don’t know. Honestly I don’t, it’s just always been my way, to overfill and then deal with the consequences (be they good or be they bad — or often, be they both).

But the truth is that a lot of sacrifice goes into living that way. Sacrifice that I was happy to make at the time — I was fine with forfeiting the things that felt less important to me, back then. But those things I’ve forfeited have grown more important to me as I’ve gotten older. I guess my priorities have just changed.

So over the past six months or so, I’ve been paring down my life. I graduated with my masters degree, and said goodbye to graduate school. We closed the wine bar, and Jeremy closed his retail shop. I scaled back my hours in the school gardens, and last week my contract ended. I won’t be renewing it next fall. And although I miss all of them, every single one of these things that I’ve removed has ultimately made my life infinitely more enjoyable. I feel like I have room to breathe for the first time in, well, forever.

So I’m sure you see where this is going. I don’t want to keep burning the candle at both ends. My relationship, my motherhood, my friendships — these are the places where I want to funnel my energy, right now. I want as little stress and pressure as possible, so that I can just enjoy the people and the things that I love.

This is a very different way of being, for me. But it’s how I need to be right now. It feels so right. So I’m going to stop blogging, at least in any formal capacity.

I really love having this space, as a record of my life and my kid’s life, and as a way to record our adventures. I look up recipes on here all the time! I love flipping through old posts. These pages hold such visceral and important memories for me. So the site isn’t going anywhere.

And I’ve loved interacting with all of you. I’m not disappearing completely. I imagine I’ll blog a few times a year, maybe even more. But I’m saying goodbye to blogging as “a blogger”.

And I hope that makes at least a little bit of sense.

And now, the one, the only . . . and probably the last for quite a while — Le Love List!

Making our first Meadow Tea of the season. Feels like summer! // Coworkers who bring me tangelos (my #1 favorite citrus). // Budgeting like a BOSS. // College bathroom graffiti. // Fellow share-parenting mamas who are on the exact same schedule, so we always have our kids together, and we always *don’t* have our kids together. Beach babes for sunny-baked days with our boys, or a sunset and a bottle of wine for those breezy beachy nights when the kids are away. Our schedules alway match and it makes it all so easy, and I am eternally grateful for that. // Coworkers bringing me homemade coconut yogurt, wow! // When Jeremy cooks for me. // Having a whole day to just putter around the house. Bless those day, ooooh bless them! // Calendula salve = skin magic. // Stability. // Bringing my coworkers big bundles of beautiful rainbow chard from my garden. // Daydreaming of doggos. I really want a dog. // Having a clean house. // Waits and I were on a bike ride and suddenly he hollered “A bird pooped on me!” I was afraid he was going to freak out, but then he started laughing, and he shouted with glee “Mom look! It’s good luck! I’m gonna get GOOD LUCK!!!” And it was so adorable. He’s such a little optimist, and that’s just what the world needs, I think. A little more optimism. ♥

And with that, my dears, I bid you all adieu. At least for now.

I know myself and I know that old habits die hard, so I imagine I’ll be posting more on Instagram now, as a way to stay connected. Who knows, maybe I’ll just move to microblogging completely. Either way, I’d love to see you there. @sayward

Alright, farewell friends. With love and gratitude,

~Sayward

♥

So, I recently realized that I wrote this post just a little over a year ago. One year! It’s hard to believe what just one year can bring.

One year ago I was slogging my way out of a serious depression. Feeling helpless and hopeless and like a forever-failure, it seemed as though my life was perpetual spinning of wheels, always exhausting but never actually getting anywhere. And with a string of bad luck on top of it all — just one thing after another after another.

One year later. My life feels so completely different these days, it’s hard for me to believe how far I’ve come (how deep I had sunk, to be honest). And it just keeps getting better. And so, I’m going with that. Onwards and upwards! These days, I work really hard, but I see rewards for my efforts. And I also have down time, and play time. Family time that feeds my heart and friend time that fires my soul. It’s just indescribably different than it was one year ago.

And this is what it looked like, this week:

And now, it’s time for the one, the only, Le Love List!

Super fun pizza parties with fellow vegan families! Making friends with another vegan family here in Santa Barbara has been so nice, for me but especially for Waits. We had a pizza party this week and it was such a blast! // When I step outside my office and get hit with the smell of the ocean. // Finding two baby skunks in my garden one night. Finally, confirmation! I always suspected it was skunks because of the scratch pattern and the way things were disrupted. Damn them! But also . . . awww so cute. // Spending time with old friends is soul medicine. // Waits telling jokes. // Visiting new friends and being greeted by the entire household welcoming committee — two excited kiddos, two dogs all up in my lap, and even both of the household cats rubbing my legs and mewing for attention. It was an absolute raucous pile of creatures, and it was awesome. // Homemade green juice. // Harvesting pine nuts, like actual pine nuts from an actual pine nut pine (!!!), and eating them fresh. // C L A R I T Y

Alright guys, now it’s your turn! I really love reading your own Le Love Lists, so please leave them down in the comments below. What are the little things in your life that make you smile this week?

I hope you had a truly magickal weekend, I hope you have a most wonderful week!

♥

Sleep, school, work, pick up the kid, make dinner, take a bath, take a hike, ride a bike, drinks with friends, tidy up, fix our lunches, fix the leaky faucet . . . repeat, repeat, repeat. I used to think that this phase of life sounded so, well, tedious! But now that I’m in the thick of it, I just keep looking around and thinking — yes.

I’m starting to reflect on what my thirties will mean in the greater scope of my life. If my twenties were all about pushing boundaries and chasing experiences, then I think my 30s will be about building and strengthening and settling into my power. My family, my career, my friendships, my activism. It all seems to be falling so beautifully into place, in a way that I kind of never thought it would. Strange, that.

Anyway, here’s what it all looked like, this week:

And now, it’s time for the one, the only, Le Love List!

Pu erh tea. // Bringing buckets and buckets of nasturtiums into the office, for everyone’s desk. // Salty peanuts (the Trader Joe’s ones are soooo deliciously salty!) // Science podcasts for kids, which we now listen to every day on the way to school. // Willie Nelson just released a brand new album, and it is so good! // Sunday morning snuggles. // Friends who also work at UCSB, and meeting up for lunch and lunchtime walks along the lagoon. // Making my office and work space feel more like my own. // Budgeting and saving money. // Attending a meeting with the superintendent of the SB school district. Getting involved feels so dang good. // Gardening the stress away. // We were going to a restaurant for a friend’s birthday and as we were leaving, Waits stooped down in the garden. “Ooh! Mint! Let’s bring some mint to garnish our food!” Honestly I have no idea where he comes up with this stuff, but I think it’s hysterical. He picked two leaves of mint and brought them to the restaurant, plunked one in his lemonade, and tore up the other one to sprinkle over the plate. You do you, kid! Always do you.

Alright guys, now it’s your turn! I really love reading your own Le Love Lists, so please leave them down in the comments below. What are the little things in your life that make you smile this week?

Happy new week, and I hope that it’s a wonderful one!

♥

Most people don’t know it, but Earth Day was actually born right here in Santa Barbara (true fact!), so this city takes the celebration very seriously. It’s a whole weekend-long affair, spanning two full days, filling two entire city blocks, with speakers and workshops and demos and vendors, a “green car show”, lots of amazing music, an eco-friendly beer garden, and upwards of 30,000 attendees.




I have a long and somewhat complicated history with Santa Barbara’s Earth Day. It did not start well. But after I wrote that blog, I was invited to sit down with the Earth Day team, to share my thoughts, and talk about how to make the next year’s Earth Day even better.

Which . . . blew me away. All these important people wanted to listen to me — some random vegan from the Internet!

So that was the first time I met the Earth Day team. And since then, I’ve worked with them on various projects, big and small. And I know them to be some of the best organizers and activists I have ever met. You know — the kind of people who read a rather scathing review by a blogger, and instead of getting defensive, they listen, and they reach out, and they strive to grow.

So when I joined SURJ (Showing Up for Racial Justice) a few months back, and I began to work with the Environmental Justice wing of the organization, I knew that I had to reach out to the executive director of the Community Environmental Council (they’re the ones who throw Earth Day), right away.

She had a lot of ideas for our budding Environmental Justice group, and pretty quickly, we decided that we would have a booth at Earth Day. We wanted to cast a spotlight on the intersection of environmentalism and racial justice, which are two seemingly disparate issues that actually overlap in many, complicated ways.

It certainly wasn’t going to make us the most popular booth at Earth Day, but our mesage highlighting Environmental Racism would definitely be one of the most important.

Environmental Racism describes a sociopolitical phenomenon whereby communities of color are disproportionately exposed to pollutants, and denied access to clean air, clean water, and natural open spaces.

Let’s face it: the mainstream environmental movement tends to be very white-dominated. And, much like mainstream feminism, the movement often prioritizes certain issues *at the exclusion* of issues that specifically effect people of color. And we need to change that.

Environmentalism intersects with racism. Environmental justice INCLUDES racial justice.

So that was the focus of the booth. And here’s what’s really neat: the Environmental Justice group consists of maybe like, 8 people total. But really, there are 3 or 4 of us who make up the core team. And I just want to make it really clear — this entire thing was accomplished by basically a tiny handful of people. A few busy people with full time jobs, and families, and lots of other things going on. And I’m not saying that to brag or something. I’m saying it because I think it’s really important to remember.

Projects like this can seem huge. They can seem so huge that they’re downright daunting. And if projects like this seem impossible, it’s hard to motivate ourselves to even begin to attempt them. So I really want to emphasize that we pulled this whole thing off with just like, a tiny handful of humans, sending emails, and doing little bits of leg work, and fitting in 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. Just one small piece at a time. And that’s how this whole big thing came together.

This is Cora — a student at Santa Barbara Community College. One of our core members in the Environmental Justice group also happens to be a professor of Environmental History at SBCC. So, she told all her students that they could do an extra credit project on Environmental Racism! Some of those [amazing] projects became the material that we shared with folks at Earth Day. And Cora is one of those students, who put together a really comprehensive piece on the Flint Water Crisis, providing the historical context of institutionalized racism all the way back to Roosevelt’s New Deal, and then red lining, and on through the years from there. I mean, we all know about Flint’s current crisis . . . but do we all understand that this environmental nightmare is historically, intentionally rooted in racism?

Probably not.

So that’s the kind of message we were trying to share at Earth Day this year. From Flint, to the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, to Standing Rock . . . all the way to the vastly disproportionate number of smog-spouting smokestacks in our neighboring city of Oxnard, CA (which, unsurprisingly, is an 85% community of color). The effects of environmental devastation do not impact all peoples equally, and all those terrible things that environmentalists warn “are coming soon” are actually already happening in marginalized communities.

Environmental justice INCLUDES racial justice.

And surprisingly, so many people were willing to engage with us. Sure, plenty of them just kept right on walking, but so many stopped and talked to us. We had great conversations, and we had hard conversations too. So many hard conversations. And we got a bunch of new sign-ups for SURJ, and we also got tons and tons of signatures on a petition we’re working on to try and get the city of SB to divest from the banks involved in the Dakota Access Pipeline.

Overall, I’d say the weekend was an absolute success. More than protests or petitions, this was real, boots on the ground, community outreach work. It felt meaningful, like a perfect little stone dropped in the middle of a lake. Building a little ripple, watching it grow.

A little stone made from a tiny handful of people. Just a tiny handful.

Just like you and a few of your friends.

Think about it.

♥

A few notes in case anyone has questions:

The local nonprofit Loa Tree very generously offered to sponsor our booth for us. This meant that, in accordance with the SURJ charter, we raised a donation in a matching amount to give to a people of color-led organization. We donated to our local Black Lives Matter chapter, to help fund their current efforts around the Use Of Force policies in the Santa Barbara Police Department.

Hello, I’m wearing shorts! First shorts day of the year, and I’d say that’s probably the first thing on my Love List this week. We had a wonderfully wet winter, just exactly the drought-busting kind of winter we needed, and I never thought I’d be wishing for sunshine and warm weather again . . . but here I am. I am ready for summer!

This week I’m day dreaming of beach picnics and sun dresses and straw hats and swim holes, oh good gravy it’s going to be a great summer! The summer of skateboards and secret waterfalls, back yard mint juleps and seven year old slumber parties. Yes! Bring it on!

Here’s a few little snippets of this week:

And now, it’s time for the one, the only, Le Love List!

I’VE GOT TICKETS TO SEE HAMILTON AT THE PANTAGES IN HOLLYWOOD THIS FALL!!!! // No but seriously, do I even need to add anything else to this list? I’m going to see Hamilton!!! Okay okay, a few more things . . . // Amazing friends who happily sing the entire soundtrack of Hamilton with you, top volume, while driving through Death Valley in the middle of the night, and then months later score tickets to the show itself, and then text you right away to tell you that one of those tickets is yours. EEEeeee! // The tragic impermanence of balloon animals. // How when I come home early, I know exactly where each of my kitties is going to be. They both have their day-nap spots and I find their predictability to be so flippin’ adorable. // These days we are eating out of the garden 2-3 meals per day, and it brings me sooooo much joy. // My passion flowers in full bloom. // One of my coworkers told me that he walked in the March For Science, and he is super introverted and he hates crowds and it was really hard for him. This was his FIRST protest of his entire life, but it was so important to him that he just felt like he had to be there. Love that. // Watching my cats go wild playing with a piece of broccoli. // This week I saw Alicia Garza, one of the three [black female feminist] founders of Black Lives Matter, speak at UCSB. She was *amazing*; passionate, strong, wise, and unflinchingly True. I am still marinating in her words, trying to absorb as much as I can. Feeling so inspired, and hoping I can harness just a fraction of her grace and courage. ♥

Alright guys, now it’s your turn! I really love reading your own Le Love Lists, so please leave them down in the comments below. What are the little things in your life that make you smile this week?

I hope you have a most wonderful week!

♥

So honestly I am exhausted. What a week. What a weekend! I’m completely exhausted, but it’s that delicious, satisfying sort of exhaustion that comes from doing work that feels worth it. In my career, in my activism, and in my personal life and family, I’ve been doing a lot of work that feels so, so worth it.

So I’m exhausted, and I’m totally okay with it. A few photos from this past week:

On Friday night Jeremy took me on a secret date. He told me about it a few weeks ago,
but I didn’t know any of the details. All I knew was that it was out of town, and that I should wear regular clothes. On Friday evening he picked me up and whisked me off, I didn’t even know what direction we would be driving!

And as it was, we didn’t go North along the coast, and we didn’t head south towards LA. Instead, we turned up the old two lane highway and drove into the foothills, towards the Santa Ynez valley. Towards wine country. And we landed at this adorable, fancy little farm-to-table restaurant, where we were given the super, *super*, superstar treatment. Everything pre-arranged, a full multi-course gluten-free vegan meal, and it was so unexpected and amazing. Thank you baby!

And now, it’s time for the one, the only, Le Love List!

Pleiometrics. // Seeing common vegetables prepared in completely new and unique ways. // Rioja. // The thunderous roar of Waits helping Jeremy roll out the garbage cans. // Office supplies. // Getting a Mother’s Day Tea invitation from Waits in the mail. // Powering through. // Secret Date Night. Our secret date ended with a live show, and I was wracking my brain trying to think of who it could be. There’s not any big venues in wine country, so it couldn’t be a big deal headliner. And I don’t even really listen to much music, just old folk and some newer melancholy stuff, but really mostly podcasts these days. Who could it be?

I was never really into them until this one afternoon just almost exactly a year ago, when we had a spontaneous family painting adventure and decorated our washer and dryer. While we were painting, Jeremy put on America’s greatest hits and we listened to the whole thing through, and when it was done I said “Hey, do you mind if we listen to that again?” And so we did. The whole thing.

And they played my favorite song, Ventura Highway, which is my happy song, and I totally cried because I have all the feelings. It was just so magical, and I am so grateful to Jeremy for making it all happen. Talk about surprise! Yes yes, surprise date = success.

Alright guys, now it’s your turn! I really love reading your own Le Love Lists, so please leave them down in the comments below. What are the little things in your life that make you smile this week?

Happy new week, and I hope it’s a good one!

♥