But this time . . . not so much. So now, the question becomes not ‘What will I do with all this newfound knowledge?’, but instead ‘Why didn’t I have an earth-shaking voyage?’ Here are my three theories:

Animal Poison – I wasn’t a veg*n the last time I did this, and I was carrying a load (a lifetime!) of contamination. Really, I could spend the rest of the night writing about the toxins hidden in meat and dairy, both the ‘man-made’ (antibiotics, etc) and the ‘natural’ (cholesterol, etc), and the myriad health risks that come with consuming them. I suppose that now is not the place. Suffice to say: 1) read The China Study, and 2) I suspect I simply had less to let go of.

Chemical Poison – For a long time I ate organic ‘when I could afford it’ . . . which wasn’t very often. After my last cleanse I tried to eat as organic as possible, without worry towards the cost. Over the course of the year I’ve evolved my habits and loosened my [perceived] purse strings (it’s really, really not much more expensive), and incorporated more organic standards. Then during my raw month, and ever since, I’ve eaten almost exclusively organic. And now a year later, I think I just have less chemicals to expel. Organic matters!

Emotional Poison – Cleansing is more than just a physical healing; it’s also a deeply personal experience. Your body is discharging its built-up waste, while simultaneously, your mind is surrendering its pent-up negativity. Cleansing repairs the whole package. And last time I cleansed, I was immersed in one of my toughest times.  A quarter-life crisis, if you will.  Since then I’ve put in a lot of work, a lot of intentional growth. And though I’m nowhere near the end, my direction is much more clear. Perhaps regaining my strength and stability made for a more mellow journey.

Do I sound like I’m saying this was easy breezy?  Because I certainly don’t mean to imply that it was. I’ve had my rough spots for sure, my splitting headaches and fuzzy teeth and tearful outbursts. But compared to the last go-around? Well there’s just no comparison, really. Still, it’s a valuable experience. There’s always something to learn.

Last time my body had been through hell and was screaming out for change. So I set six ambitious intentions for myself: 1) Drastically cut down salt.  2) Eat organic as often as possible.  3) Eat less meat (ha!)  4) Eat less dairy (!)  5) Sugar for special occasions only.  6) Reduce coffee and alcohol intake.

And this time around, instead of screaming, I feel like my body is singing. Singing ‘thank you’ for those life choices I made. The past year has brought so much positive change, and what I have learned from this cleanse is that I’m on the right path.

So my new intention is simply this:

Keep on being good to myself.  It’s working.

Lot’s of love to everyone out there, especially my fellow cleansers.  We did it!

I feel like I could continue this cleanse indefinitely. I really don’t feel hungry, and my energy is good enough – not great, but okay. I didn’t get it last time, but now I feel like I understand how people can fast for forty days. I see that it’s possible.

But me? No way! I miss food too much. I find myself extremely jealous when my husband eats dinner (partial cause of the cranky, I’ll bet), and I’m excited at the prospect of produce season and farmers markets coming up. Mostly, I believe that the main reason this cleanse has been so easy for me this time around, is simply that I don’t need it as much. So why continue with something unnecessary? More on that in tomorrow night’s final wrap-up . . .

Bed time! I’ve been sleeping like a baby these days, and loving every snuggly minute of it!

Another short one, ’cause there’s just not too much to say. Today I felt great, barely aware that I haven’t eaten in 8 days. I actually got a ton of stuff accomplished, which was awesome,  and I didn’t fatigue as long as I kept up with my drinks. A few times I let too much time lapse, and my blood sugar would crash. This wasn’t a big deal except for my poor husband, who had to then bear the brunt of my cranky.

I got my salt yesterday, and was back on track with my SWF this morning. I can’t believe how much is still coming out . . .

I got some limes today to use in place of lemons. A nice change. I’ve been drinking a lot of peppermint tea, which I did last cleanse as well. I like to make my lemonade drink with half the maple syrup, reserving half the sweet stuff to add to my tea. That way I keep all my proportions correct (2 pt lemon:2 pt maple:dash cayenne) but I still get my yummy tea!

Muahaha!

Wow, today.

The day started off strange, because I was out of salt.  We tried to get to the market in time last night, but didn’t quite make it.  So although I drank my senna tea late last night, I didn’t do a SWF this morning. So, no BM at all today.   =(

Later this morning, I had some BIG emotions come up.  I mean BIG!  I mean, it’s okay – that’s part of this process.  But man . . . I haven’t cried that hard in quite some time.  It kind of laid me out, kept us in bed for a long time this morning, trying to sort through it all.  And we did (I love my husband!!!).  Lot’s of progress today, and lots to look forward to!

The rest of the day was bike rides and long phone calls with family, massive spring cleaning and puttering with my plants, enjoying married life and straight up relaxing.  I feel sort of new after this morning, sort of raw and fresh and maybe even a little dazed.  Also appreciative.  That’s what this is all about, you know?

Ahh, I love starting off the new week with a perfectly clean house. 

Today was the first day that I have wanted food.  I’m not even hungry really, but I just want those flavors in my mouth. *sigh*

Tonight we were both so beat that we’ve just been laying around like wilted vegetables, haha. It’s good to do sometimes!  I’ve got a bit of a headache, which can happen when I get too much sun.  Ah well, totally worth it for a spectacular Saturday with my husband. Today was a good day.   =)

Another awesome day, and I can’t believe I’m halfway through this already. I started my morning with yet another SWF,  and now that it’s been a few days since I’ve eaten, that salt water just runs right through me! It was making a mighty exit after just half an hour. And what continues to amaze me, is that stuff keeps coming out.  

Skeptics will say that the body is self cleansing, that the colon is shallow and free of debris, and that IF you had buildup along the intestines you would know. And they’ll tell you, that what you put in, comes right out again. But if that’s true, why is there poop still coming out of me?  I haven’t put any food in for 5 days, and there’s still *plenty* of poop coming out. It’s not bile or bacteria or dead cells being shed. This is old food, easily identified as old food, and quite honestly it looks and smells as if it’s been in there for a long time. This is cleansing, folks! EWWW!!!

Today was a gorgeous warm and breezy spring day here in Portland. The sun was out and I took advantage, working by the window, walking the dogs, and running my errands early. I was fine and full of energy when I was out and moving about. However, when I was trying to work I was pretty much a mess. I could NOT, for the life of me, get focused! Bah . . .

In the early afternoon I ran out of maple syrup, but I tried to finish up my work before running back out to the store.  Big mistake.  By the time I was on my way home form the co-op, I was having actual, for-real hunger pangs.  I let my blood sugar drop too low, for the first time on the fast.

Did you know that hunger, real hunger, is not experienced in the belly?  It’s felt in the chest, like a pressure beneath the sternum.  I’d always read that, but had never understood it, until today.  The strangest thing is that it wasn’t painful, or even uncomfortable really.  Just a very odd sensation, constantly reminding that something was wrong.

I made it home fine and fixed up a drink, but even with my blood sugar back to normal, I’ve been sort of strange all night.  Not bad really, just a bit . . . off.  But it didn’t stop me from making Damian dinner, from playing new games, and from having an awesome brainstorming session for long-term planning and development of this little blog!  We’ve got some really awesome ideas in the works and I just can’t wait to unveil them. But now, Damian has promised me a back rub, and I’m going to cash in!

Lots of love and lots of luck!

I woke up this morning bright eyed and bushy tailed, feeling well rested and mentally alert. I felt totally normal. It’s strange, because last time around my first three days were very difficult, and my fourth day was the hardest. I can only guess that my habit changes over the past year are contributing to this easy detox. For example, I wasn’t even vegan the last time I cleansed. And now I’ve been vegan for almost a year, and this whole March I was RAW. Could this cleaned-up lifestyle be responsible for my mellow cleanse? I suppose it’s possible, but I sort of doubt it. It’s not like I eat that well, and sweets and treats certainly find their way into my tummy. I’m only human!

Whatever the reason, I’m having a really easy time of this. That’s not to say it won’t get worse (I’m quite sure that it will), and I’m really just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like any minute I’ll get faint and flushed, headachy and my tongue will fuzz up with icky sticky funk. For now I’m stuck in this sort of limbo, not quite ‘normal’ enough to go at life full steam, but not so deeply affected as to gain some grand new insight. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I’ve introverted as much as I’d like, and I don’t feel like I’m learning as much as I expected. Ah well, it’s only the fourth day. Six more chances to see . . .

And I’m not without my symptoms. I still get short-lived stabby stabby headaches. My tongue and teeth are the slightest bit fuzzy. My B.O. is rockin’ like crazy and I’m pretty sure my breath is less than optimal. I’m having spots of acne pop up, nothing major, just little blemishes here and there and everywhere. These are all standard signs of toxin release, so I’m not surprised. I’ve also had some emotions come up, like impatience and frustration and envy and resentment. But I’m in a wonderful place of presence and honesty. It’s great to be able to meet these feelings as they arise, to explore them through to understanding, and to accept them. So, maybe I am learning something after all. Hmm . . .

It’s late and I’m spent.  Love and luck!

Today I feel so much better! I got about 11 hours of sleep last night, and woke up feeling energetic and happy. Best of all, no headache! I really just wanted to curl up and snuggle with some hot tea, but alas, I went straight for the salt water.

I drank my 32 oz down first thing in the morning. About 25 minutes later I had a normal BM, and about 20 minutes after that the SWF was ready to bid me adieu. Quite enthusiastically, I might add. It’s such a strange sensation, totally unique and certainly comical, and I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Alright, so I guess we’re doing this.” Bring on the Master Cleanse!

My energy was much better today. I was able to focus and I worked for quite a long time. Afterwards, I took the pooches on a nice long walk, which I’d been procrastinating all day but actually felt really awesome. The wind had died down a bit by the evening, and with This American Life in my ipod, I was good to go. Around dinnertime I cleaned out the fridge.  I’d tried to eat all the perishables before yesterday, but I’d failed. Lucky chickens!  They got a big bunch of cilantro, some old carrots, half a giant tomato, and half a head of cauliflower.  MmmMMm . . . cauliflower . . .

But don’t think the day was all peachy keen.  I had my headache coming and going randomly at random intervals. I had trouble focusing whenever I went too long without the drink, and I definitely feel less ‘present’. I’m not always the most present person to begin with, so this can be sort of difficult.  Less important when I’m by myself, but it does interfere if I’m trying to run errands or talking on the phone or something. And late tonight, my hearing went all wonky and my right ear was ringing for 10 minutes or so.

But all in all, I can’t complain. I feel amazing considering I haven’t eaten in 2 days. Perhaps my RAW trial sort of prepared me for this, and I’ll just have less to detox. Or, perhaps it’s just taking a while and it’s about to come crashing down on me in all its poison-purging fury. My tongue has *just* started getting gooey this evening, and my molars are starting to feel filmy as well. So who knows?

I don’t know how it got so late! I had all this energy, but now I’m fading fast. Love and luck to you all!

"Sing to me muse, of the rage of Achilles" - Homer

Hoo-boy!  And so it begins.  I’ll probably keep this short, because I do NOT feel very well right now.

It’s a shame, too, because last night I was feeling so good.  I had a lovely last meal of a homemade burrito, delicious molasses cookies, and icy IPA.  I read an inspiring book, chatted with friends, and stayed up a little too late just for fun.  I even scrawled the opening line of the Iliad across my bathroom mirror to serve as inspiration on this journey (that’s Tom Waits in the corner, but he always lives there).  And so, I went to bed feeling so positive about this.

And then I woke up.  Almost immediately, I felt cloaked in negative thoughts, so much that I wanted to cry.  Instead, I pulled myself out of bed and prepared my first SWF, all the while trying to figure out where all that sadness was coming from.

One of the most enduring outcomes of my last cleanse was working through all the emotions that came up.  When people talk about releasing toxins, it’s not just the physical they’re referring to.  A lot of deeply buried, unexpected emotional distress can surface in this process.  It’s so healthy to work through that baggage, face it, and let it fall away.  But you sort of have to go through hell in order to get there.

Today I just felt burdened.  I was able to get my stuff done – I exercised for the first time in 10 days (we’ve had a lot of house guests), I walked the dogs and ran some errands and did some writing.  But I’ve been carrying a splitting caffeine headache with me all day, and it pretty much prevented me from getting any actual work done.  I kept napping just trying to escape it.  When the headache subsides, I’ll be free to dig in to this melancholy.  Until then: deep breathing, turning inward, moving forward.

So far today no fuzzy tongue or teeth.  One small BM.  Quite a few thoughts of food, but nothing I’d call a craving and no real hunger at all.  Just the unconscious thought surfacing “I should eat black beans”, and the conscious response “Nope.”

Okay, nappie time again.  Love to you all, and the best of luck!