It’s a bit of a long one, and tangential too, but please bear with me because this story encapsulates basically everything I love about being a random lump of flesh floating on a green rock in outer space, about this beautiful Universe, about happenstance and coincidence and chances, about synchronicity and everything sacred, and also, about really nothing at all.

It’s about how my little family ended up traipsing across the wild and desolate California desert, in the middle of literal nowhere, following one of my wildest dreams and hunting for 26-million-year-old crystals. I don’t believe in fate, not for one second. But I do believe that we all have the power to drive forward into our own fantastical futures.

So here’s the story of how I drove us into this one. And it starts on an airplane, in 2013, with this really annoying businessman who kept buying rounds of drinks for the entire row . . .




LA to Portland. It was a late-night flight. He’d probably already had a few in the airport bar. I was excited, returning to Portland for the first time since I’d moved away, and for the Vida Vegan blogging conference no less. I was in for a week of old friends and new friends and great food and so much fun, so even though I’m antisocial by nature (introvert power!), on this particular flight I was feeling a bit chatty. I was seated on the aisle, then in the center seat was a woman, and then next to her at the window was our libatious benefactor. He just kept buying rounds. So we chatted.

The woman. Kim. She’s hard to describe. Kim is VERY intense. Kim has opinions and you’re going to hear them. And she’s a real badass. Of the “No, I REALLY don’t care what you think of me” variety. And you know she means it. At the time, she was working overnight security on the Metro, Portland’s public transit system. Basically, Kim is fuckin’ metal.

We talked all the way to Portland. Don’t ask me why. I never talk to people on planes. Never. Like, as a policy (introvert power!). But something was different that night. I talked with Kim, and sort of with Drunky McDrunkersons, for the whole flight. And by the time we were landing, she and I were becoming Facebook friends. Another thing I just don’t do.

My sister picked me up at the airport, and I went off on my merry way. I never saw Kim again. That was 2013, remember.

But Kim and I stayed Facebook friends for 5 whole years. I followed along with her life and she followed along with mine. We shared a lot of the same politics, and she’s very outspoken. I appreciated that. So even though we’d only met the once, she somehow made it past all of my [many] Facebook friend purges. 5 years!

And somewhere along the way, Kim began posting handmade jewelry. By then she had moved out to Las Vegas, and she was learning how to silversmith — making her own jewelry. And she was fitting the pieces with crystals that she had mined herself, in the desert.

I was enthralled.

Then, one day in February, 2018, Kim posted some photos of these deep purple amethyst clusters that she had collected the day before. I commented on the photos, asking where she found them. “A mountain,” she said. “I can’t say where …”

I replied that I understood, it was just such a dream of mine. Maybe someday. And to my total shock she responded “You can totally come with us! You just can’t put the location on social media.”

Oh my god.

That was in February, and it just so happened that we were deep in the process of planning our Spring Break Desert Road Trip for the end of March. With a little reconfiguring, we might actually be able to make that happen.

Oh my god.




And that’s how it came to be. This thing, that I never in my wildest dreams thought was possible. It actually happened.

That March, Waits and Jeremy and I woke up at dawn in a strange, surreal little truck stop/casino on the California-Nevada border. Our trunk was stuffed with pick axes and shovels and Gatorade, just as Kim had instructed.

We met her, and her husband Brandy, in the parking lot. A reunion after 5 years. And then we were off, caravanning into the desert, to a secret location. To a mountain. In the middle of absolutely nowhere.

We had to hike for miles just to get to the right place. Carrying everything.

Waits was such a trooper. It was a full day of work, dawn to dusk. Hiking and digging, it was aching work under the relentless desert sun. No shade, no respite.

And we loved every single second of it.

It’s hard to describe the majesty and the magic that I felt out there. Absolute quiet. Heat like a heavy blanket. Screaming muscles. Stillness. Standing shoulder-deep in a vein, covered in dust and sweat and sticky prickly plants, broken fingernails and scraped skin reaching deeper into the earth. Wrapping my fingers around something so pure and precious, 26 million years in the making.

It was so powerful. Indescribably powerful. Transcendent.

So, that’s my story.

I never would have imagined, when I accepted that drink from that annoying businessman and started talking to the loud, no-bullshit lady next to me, that the story would have led me to this day.

You just never know. You just never, ever know.

Belize is the most beautiful snorkeling and diving destination you’ve maybe/probably never heard of. The majority of people I talk to have only a very general sense of the country (“Is it somewhere in Central America?” (yes) and “They speak Spanish there, right?” (no) is how the conversation usually goes). I feel like Belize is sort of still a secret, which is why I’m so excited to share my Belizean adventures here. I fell completely in love with this country, and I want to share that love!

Belize is an equatorial paradise, with a rich melting pot of people and culture, lush tropical jungles full of incredible wildlife, pristine Mayan ruins, that crystal clear Caribbean water, and of course — some of the very best snorkeling and diving in the entire world.

The barrier reef off the coast of Belize is the second largest in the entire world. But even though it’s a developing country with limited resources, Belize has taken great care to preserve and protect the integrity of the space. This reef is practically pristine, because there are strict regulations in place to protect it. It’s inspiring!

You can access the reef from many parts of Belize — it essentially spans the entirety of the coastline. We were in the north, staying on the tiny island of Caye Caulker, and we did a lot of research for our snorkeling trip. With over 1,200 reviews and maintaining a 5-star rating on Trip Advisor, Caveman Snorkeling Tours was the clear winner.

We booked the full day tour, which promised a minimum of 7 stops. It didn’t disappoint.


First Stop: The Coral Gardens

Perfect for our first dip and to test our gear, the Coral Gardens is a sprawling and diverse collection of corals in relatively shallow water, with a mellow, gentle current. I didn’t even know you could see so many different types of coral all in one place.

Alas, none of my pics could accurately capture the beauty of the wildlife. So, no flora and fauna photos here.

However I did learn an important snorkeling lesson: your mask will seal fine, you don’t need to make it THAT tight.

Hol Chan is Mayan for “little channel”. The Hol Chan Reserve is Belize’s oldest marine reserve, and was established by Belizean conservationists who were concerned over the unchecked fishing and diving on the reef.

This stop was absolutely incredible: a 45-minute guided snorkeling tour through the reef. We saw barracudas and moray eels and sharks and turtles and rays, dozens of beautiful and brightly colored tropical fish, and about a hundred different types of corals.

Chatto’s Place is a shallow area in the middle of the ocean, where an old conch fisherman (that’s Chatto) used to come every day to clean his catch. Which means that the entire sea floor, in this one particular place, is covered with discarded conch shells.

We didn’t get any pictures from this spot, but it was totally unique.


4: Shark Ray Alley

Another spot in the middle of the ocean, this is an area where all the fisherman used to congregate to clean their catch. The sharks learned to come to the sound of the boats idling there, knowing that the water would be full of the fishermen’s throw-aways. And now, so many years later, they still come.

YOU GUYS! It was an actual sunken shipwreck! I die.

All of my life I’ve dreamed of swimming with manatees. They live all along the coast of Belize, but they’re transient and seasonal, so you never know if you’re going to get to see them. And man oh man, I sooo wanted to see them! Crossed all my fingers and all my toes, and then there at the very end — there they were!

There were two more stops on our trip — one to hand-feed giant tarpons, and one to visit a seahorse preserve (we saw wild seahorses!), but I didn’t take any pictures of those. Bad blogger. Sorry!

All in all, this day was absolutely magical and completely exceeded my expectations.

It was a long day in the sun with tons of swimming, and by the time our boat docked, we were utterly exhausted. Jeremy and I wandered out to the farthest point on the island, found a large stump to sit on, and watched the sun set over the Caribbean.

Perfect.

Most people don’t know it, but Earth Day was actually born right here in Santa Barbara (true fact!), so this city takes the celebration very seriously. It’s a whole weekend-long affair, spanning two full days, filling two entire city blocks, with speakers and workshops and demos and vendors, a “green car show”, lots of amazing music, an eco-friendly beer garden, and upwards of 30,000 attendees.




I have a long and somewhat complicated history with Santa Barbara’s Earth Day. It did not start well. But after I wrote that blog, I was invited to sit down with the Earth Day team, to share my thoughts, and talk about how to make the next year’s Earth Day even better.

Which . . . blew me away. All these important people wanted to listen to me — some random vegan from the Internet!

So that was the first time I met the Earth Day team. And since then, I’ve worked with them on various projects, big and small. And I know them to be some of the best organizers and activists I have ever met. You know — the kind of people who read a rather scathing review by a blogger, and instead of getting defensive, they listen, and they reach out, and they strive to grow.

So when I joined SURJ (Showing Up for Racial Justice) a few months back, and I began to work with the Environmental Justice wing of the organization, I knew that I had to reach out to the executive director of the Community Environmental Council (they’re the ones who throw Earth Day), right away.

She had a lot of ideas for our budding Environmental Justice group, and pretty quickly, we decided that we would have a booth at Earth Day. We wanted to cast a spotlight on the intersection of environmentalism and racial justice, which are two seemingly disparate issues that actually overlap in many, complicated ways.

It certainly wasn’t going to make us the most popular booth at Earth Day, but our mesage highlighting Environmental Racism would definitely be one of the most important.

Environmental Racism describes a sociopolitical phenomenon whereby communities of color are disproportionately exposed to pollutants, and denied access to clean air, clean water, and natural open spaces.

Let’s face it: the mainstream environmental movement tends to be very white-dominated. And, much like mainstream feminism, the movement often prioritizes certain issues *at the exclusion* of issues that specifically effect people of color. And we need to change that.

Environmentalism intersects with racism. Environmental justice INCLUDES racial justice.

So that was the focus of the booth. And here’s what’s really neat: the Environmental Justice group consists of maybe like, 8 people total. But really, there are 3 or 4 of us who make up the core team. And I just want to make it really clear — this entire thing was accomplished by basically a tiny handful of people. A few busy people with full time jobs, and families, and lots of other things going on. And I’m not saying that to brag or something. I’m saying it because I think it’s really important to remember.

Projects like this can seem huge. They can seem so huge that they’re downright daunting. And if projects like this seem impossible, it’s hard to motivate ourselves to even begin to attempt them. So I really want to emphasize that we pulled this whole thing off with just like, a tiny handful of humans, sending emails, and doing little bits of leg work, and fitting in 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. Just one small piece at a time. And that’s how this whole big thing came together.

This is Cora — a student at Santa Barbara Community College. One of our core members in the Environmental Justice group also happens to be a professor of Environmental History at SBCC. So, she told all her students that they could do an extra credit project on Environmental Racism! Some of those [amazing] projects became the material that we shared with folks at Earth Day. And Cora is one of those students, who put together a really comprehensive piece on the Flint Water Crisis, providing the historical context of institutionalized racism all the way back to Roosevelt’s New Deal, and then red lining, and on through the years from there. I mean, we all know about Flint’s current crisis . . . but do we all understand that this environmental nightmare is historically, intentionally rooted in racism?

Probably not.

So that’s the kind of message we were trying to share at Earth Day this year. From Flint, to the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, to Standing Rock . . . all the way to the vastly disproportionate number of smog-spouting smokestacks in our neighboring city of Oxnard, CA (which, unsurprisingly, is an 85% community of color). The effects of environmental devastation do not impact all peoples equally, and all those terrible things that environmentalists warn “are coming soon” are actually already happening in marginalized communities.

Environmental justice INCLUDES racial justice.

And surprisingly, so many people were willing to engage with us. Sure, plenty of them just kept right on walking, but so many stopped and talked to us. We had great conversations, and we had hard conversations too. So many hard conversations. And we got a bunch of new sign-ups for SURJ, and we also got tons and tons of signatures on a petition we’re working on to try and get the city of SB to divest from the banks involved in the Dakota Access Pipeline.

Overall, I’d say the weekend was an absolute success. More than protests or petitions, this was real, boots on the ground, community outreach work. It felt meaningful, like a perfect little stone dropped in the middle of a lake. Building a little ripple, watching it grow.

A little stone made from a tiny handful of people. Just a tiny handful.

Just like you and a few of your friends.

Think about it.

♥

A few notes in case anyone has questions:

The local nonprofit Loa Tree very generously offered to sponsor our booth for us. This meant that, in accordance with the SURJ charter, we raised a donation in a matching amount to give to a people of color-led organization. We donated to our local Black Lives Matter chapter, to help fund their current efforts around the Use Of Force policies in the Santa Barbara Police Department.

Progressives are often accused of acting like “special snowflakes”, which I guess is meant to imply that we’re delicate, and fancy ourselves as oh-so-unique and precious, and which is also made extra ironic considering the insult is often hurled at us by folks who literally lose their shit at hearing the words “Happy Holidays” OH THE HORROR.

But anyway, I like snowflakes. And you know what? They are unique, and each one is special. Every single snowflake is different. That’s what makes them beautiful.

And on Saturday January 21, 750,000 special snowflakes descended on Los Angeles. And 2,900,000 special snowflakes gathered around the globe. And they did what delicate snowflakes do when you add them all together.

They created an unstoppable avalanche.

There is a line from Hamilton: “This is not a moment; It’s the movement”.

And that’s what it felt like we were witnessing on Saturday. The birth of an entire movement. And like any birth, it will be messy, and the contractions will sometimes make us uncomfortable, maybe even be downright painful. But that’s part of the work. And there’s lots of work to do.

In the aftermath of Saturday, there has been a series of pieces written by women of color about how they experienced the marches. And although almost every woman, including the women of color, that I have spoken to or heard from (even in these pieces, to be clear) has said that ultimately, the march they attended was uplifting and positive and felt like solidarity . . . these negative experiences are *also* true. Simultaneously.

And that means there is more work to be done — especially if you are a white/hetero/cis person reading this. There is more work to be done inside our own progressive communities.

Woman in Viral Photo From Women’s March to White Female Allies: ‘Listen to a Black Woman’

When You Brag That The Women’s Marches Were Nonviolent

Women of color are being blamed for dividing the Women’s March — and it’s nothing new

One indigenous woman’s take on the Women’s March

I hope you’ll take the time to read these pieces, and please feel free to leave your own contributions in the comments, if you’ve found a voice you feel needs to be heard. And please, share your own experiences! Did you march?? Was it magical? Tell us all about it.

Solidarity, my reSISTERS!

♥

We cannot fight if we are not strong. We cannot fight if we are not strong. And in this incredibly difficult period, when all of us good people are challenged and demoralized again and again, day after day, self care is an essential exercise for staying strong. We must not get numb. We must not wear down. We must not normalize!

So — we must take good care of ourselves. And the internet is overrun with articles all about self care. “Eat right, get enough sleep, curl up with a cup of tea and a great novel,” is what most of them will tell you. Excellent advice indeed, but probably things you’re all doing already (or know you should be). So, here are some of my more . . . non-traditional . . . suggestions.

All of these are things that I’ve personally done to take extra good care of myself in these post-election weeks:




1) If You Don’t Own A Dog, Go Borrow One, And Give It A Walk.

On the very first morning after the election, I couldn’t bear to get out of bed. I was such a mess. And I was Facebook chatting with my friend Somer from The Abundance Diet, sort of commiserating back and forth in grief and disbelief, when she mentioned that dog snuggles were the only thing getting her through the day.

And I had this instant feeling of “OH MY GOD I NEED A DOG, STAT.” It’s hard to describe, I just — I knew I needed dog energy. You know what I mean? That calm, steadfast, unconditional kind of energy?

So I posted a status update on Facebook, basically asking if any of my dog owning friends would be so kind as to let me kidnap their pooch for an afternoon walk. And I was flooded with responses! Waits and I had a really marvelous afternoon walk with old Blue up there, and it was just exactly what I needed.

Science has shown that petting a dog actually changes your brain chemistry and improves your mood. And science has also shown that getting outside and walking in the fresh air causes physiological, mood boosting biochemical changes as well. So this strategy puts those two things together for a super duper mega dose of LOVE!

Go find a dog. Give it a walk. It’s guaranteed to brighten your day.

That’s right, I’m prescribing drag. Or at least, a raunchy, rebellious, irreverent art form of your choosing. Go see a body-positive cabaret, or a queer choir, or your local community theatre’s showing of The Vagina Monologues, or the traveling Sex Workers Art Show. Catch The Wet Spots on their next tour. Or, go watch some badass babes duke it out at the roller derby.

Basically, seek out performance art that’s subversive. Art that flips gender roles and body “goals” and social expectations of sexuality, femininity, and decorum. That flips them on their goddamn heads! Seek out these spaces and support the arts. I promise that you will find solidarity, strength through connection, and a really raucous good time.

Animals make everything better, and hanging out with animals that really need your love and attention is great soul medicine. At the Human Society (or local no-kill shelter, or farm animal sanctuary, etc) you’ll find animals in need of feeding, walking, snuggling, and more. Waits and I visit the Humane Society at least a few times a month. I love the kitties and the pooches, but he is completely obsessed with the bunnies! It’s pretty adorable.

Spending time with animals has a psychological and psychophysiological effect on our nervous system. And when we feel that we are acting in service of animals, this effect is amplified. So, go and do a good deed for a guinea pig, and let the oxytocin flow!

Lots of self care lists recommend listening to music that moves you, but I am specifically suggesting the folk/protest music of the 1960s. That shit is LIT UP, and it’s incredibly relevant to what we’re facing today. I made myself an epic Spotify play list full of Simon & Garfunkel, Peter Paul & Mary, America, Cat Stevens, Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, etc. I listen to it all the time these days, and it fills me with whimsy, nostalgia, passion, hope, and a deep connection to my fellow warriors of the past, who fought so hard so that I may be here, fighting hard today. Powerful music.

And if by chance you are lucky enough to know some musicians, I strongly urge you to organize a singalong! We’ve had a few so far – one very impromptu one on the steps of the county courthouse on the night after the election, and one at our Wine Bar (pictured above) the week after. Both times, we put out a call for anyone who wanted to show up — with an instrument, or just their voice — to join us in solidarity and song. And it was a deeply moving experience, both times.

Singing peace songs with strangers. I can’t recommend it enough.

Nature is magic, we all know that. Any time you can get yourself outdoors, into nature, into the fresh air, into the wild — it’s time well spent. But again, here I am specifically recommending *elevation*.

The world looks so very different from way up high (I’ve written about this trick before), and sometimes a real, physical change in viewpoint is all it takes to reset your perspective.

Plus, a good Adventure Day always does the body/psyche good. So have at it, my kindred wild-hearted spirited souls. Go adventuring.

And always remember — we’re in this together. #IHaveYourBack

Well, I finished school.

But I don’t really know what to say about graduating. The experience was at once both strangely anticlimactic, and totally transformative. Since I finished mid-year, there was no official ceremony. It was just . . . one day I was working really hard on my final paper, and the next day my committee was saying “Cool, this is good, we’re done here.”

And then I sort of wandered around the department saying good bye to people, not really knowing what to do with myself. I cleaned out my desk, and I picked up my last prescription at Student Health, and I paid my outstanding parking tickets. Then I got in my car and drove away. And I just . . . never went back. That’s it.

At the same time though, I have to acknowledge how completely changed I am. I mean, I am a different human being than I was 3 years ago. Profoundly different. When I entered graduate school, I was a bit of a wreck. I was still figuring out my divorce, freshly landed in Santa Barbara, I had tried to make it work as a freelance writer and as a vegan health coach, but I just couldn’t meet the bottom line of life in oh-so-expensive southern California. I felt like a failure, like I wasn’t good at anything, and definitely like I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grow up.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but my new plan is to just mostly not grow up.

Here’s what I do know: I am smart. For the most part I don’t like *doing* science, but still, I am a scientist. And I do love *teaching* science. I can write a kick-ass grant proposal (100% success rate). I can lead a meeting like a boss. I can manage a project like a pro. I can oversee a team. I bring creativity and playfulness to science education. Most of my peers don’t “get” me. But my mentors and superiors respect me. I do things my own way, sometimes to my delight and often to my chagrin, but in the end: my own way works.

Those are the things I really learned in graduate school. I guess I have a bigger brain now, and I get a nifty piece of paper that says so. But mostly, for me, what this experience has been about self-building. I am confident now. I feel solid, and capable. I feel like I have skills and those skills are valuable. I am valuable.

And right now, with the world crumbling all around us, with the incredible uncertainty of what this coming year will bring, I am so, so grateful for all that I’ve gained in graduate school.

I feel strong. And, I want to grown stronger.

I also don’t really know what to say about Death Valley. Except that, it calls to me. This was my second pilgrimage out there this year, and I know that’s just the beginning of my relationship with this strange, sacred place.

Death Valley is a landscape of extremes. It is one of the hottest, and driest, places on earth. And when you’re standing in the valley, between two mountain ranges towering thousands of feet above you, you’re standing where dinosaurs used to swim. Can you imagine that? It all used to be under water, and dinosaurs used to do the backstroke down the valley, millions of years ago.

If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

My favorite place in the park is Badwater Basin. My partner-in-adventure and I stumbled upon it the first time we visited Death Valley, wandered out barefoot over the great salty flat, felt the crystals crunching under our toes, felt millions and millions of years of stillness surrounding us, and we knew: this is a special place.




When you stand on the salt at Badwater Basin, you’re standing at the lowest point of elevation in the entire western hemisphere. 282 feet below sea level. You are, quite literally, as close to the heart of the Earth as you can possibly get.

It’s a powerful place to practice magic. And I knew that after finally finishing my degree, after this terrible tragedy of a year where everyone good died, including The American Experiment, well — I knew that I had to go to Badwater.

So that’s just what we did. We walked out into the middle of the basin, far, far beyond the end of the path. Far, far, far away from any other people.

We called the corners, and we cast the circle, and we invited the power of the desert.

It’s amazing what you can discover when you open yourself up to the wisdom of the Wild. We learned so much out there. So much. Death Valley did not disappoint us, and we left the desert strengthened for what lies ahead.

Happy Winter Solstice, my dear ones. Happy holidays, and may your new year bring you a little bit closer to the Wild.





♥ ♥ ♥

It’s been a month. It’s only been a month. It’s already been a month.

I know that a lot of us are still struggling to cope, feeling lost, feeling tired . . . feeling fired up!

Because we are on the precipice of a revolution, my friends. Make no mistake about it. The world is turning upside down.

So, I’ve compiled a list: Resources for the New Revolutionaries. It’s pretty extensive and it might take you a few weeks to work through it all. That’s okay. Now is the time for working.

It’ll be like the Monday Monthly Missions we used to do so long ago, remember those? Well, I’m thinking of bringing them back, but instead of green missions, they’ll be Lit Up, Radical Love missions! Missions to lift our spirits and do the real work to get us out of this mess. More on that in the coming weeks . . .

For now, here we go.


Resources For New Revolutionaries

Donate:

It’s quick and it matters. These organizations do important work and they need your support now more than ever. Make sure your donation has maximum impact! Post on social media and tell people where you donated, and why. I’ve seen posts along the lines of “I donated $10 for every one of my family members who voted for Trump.” That sort of thing. Urge your friends to do the same!

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is a champion of individual rights and liberties guaranteed by the Constitution. You can donate to them here.

Planned Parenthood is a no-brainer, as our country’s largest sexual and reproductive healthcare provider. I have been using them as my primary form of women’s health care on and off for my entire teen and adult life (because that’s what happens when you’re a Professional Hustler with a piecemeal career of freelance and part-time gigs). They are invaluable. I like to donate to them whenever I come across someone especially abhorrent on social media. And I make sure to let that person know they’ve inspired me! You can donate to them here.

The Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund (MALDEF) is the nation’s leading Latino legal civil rights organization. And they’re really, really going to need our support. You can donate to them here.

The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) is one that I wasn’t sure I would include on this list, three and a half weeks ago when I started compiling it. Since then, we’ve seen a resurgence in anti-Jewish sentiment, nazi-inspired crime, both violent (like assault) and nonviolent (like graffiti), and the frightening appointment of an antisemitic white supremacist as one of Trump’s closest advisors. I guess I was naive to think that Jews no longer had to fear overt discrimination and persecution in this country. But clearly they do, and the ADL will need our support. You can donate to them here.

This is just a short list, by no means comprehensive, basically just my favorite groups and ones I have personally donated to in the recent weeks. For a much more thorough list that offers excellent organizations covering every particular issue, Jezebel’s got you covered.

Educate:

No matter how progressive you think you are, there is still so, so much to learn. Especially for white people, there’s a lot to learn about race and racism in this country. And all of us, regardless of skin color, need to learn about feminism, about gender and sexuality, about class, about privilege, and about power structures. The following is a pretty comprehensive list of readings for the purpose of self-education. I strongly urge you to read through all of these over the course of the next few months. We are strongest when we truly understand one another.

This doc is ESSENTIAL reading for white folks. It’s very long, so you might need to spend a few weeks with it. But please, read it all. It will change your life. Syllabus For White People To Educate Themselves

Masha Gesson is an openly-gay Russian journalist who has spent much of her life living in, and writing about, autocracies. She understands what is about to happen to America better than most, and she’s written an amazing piece called Autocracy: Rules For Survival, which is required reading for those participating in the resistance.

Concrete Suggestions in Preparation for January 2017’s Change in American Government is an ever-evolving google doc that breaks down, and does a deep dive, into areas such as: Transgender rights, Disability issues, Reproductive rights, Criminal Justice, etc, with concrete examples of how to fight, and resources for education, outreach, allyship, and more. An especially relevant document if one of these issues is something you’d like to focus your activism on.

Lisa over at Organizing For Power put together an amazing Anti-Oppression Reading and Exercises page. It’s another comprehensive list that offers both readings and activities to familiarize yourself with the systems of oppression that are operating unseen all around us, at all times.

And finally, I think you should listen to Rachel Maddow’s podcast every single day. It’s just the audio from her show, and if you can watch the show that’s great too. But I’m an audio person, so podcasting is awesome for me. Plus it’s more portable. Anyway, Rachel’s show is the most intelligent critique of current events that you’ll get from the mainstream media, and I adore her. Daily podcast on Stitcher or on iTunes.




Connect:

These are great organizations to align yourself with. Join their email lists, read their blogs. Stay connected!

INCITE! is a nation-wide network of radical feminists of color working to end violence against women, gender non-conforming, and trans people of color. They support each other through direct action, critical dialogue, and grassroots organizing. Get involved here, or at least sign up for their mailing list.

Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ) is a national network of groups and individuals organizing white people for racial justice. Through community organizing, mobilizing, and education, SURJ moves white people to act as part of a multi-racial majority for justice with passion and accountability. Volunteer for them here, and make sure to sign up for their mailing list.

White Noise Collective is an intersectional organization that encourages exploration of what it means to navigate white supremacy, patriarchy, cisnormativity, heteronormativity, and other oppressive ideologies through the experience of both gendered oppression and white or light skin privilege. Check them out, follow their blog, and join their Action list, too.

Activate!

All of this reading and learning and connecting is important, but these dire times call for radical, revolutionary measures. It’s time to put on your activist pants! 2017 is going to be all about Direct Action, in the form of strikes, protests, and organized campaigns. Rowdy nonviolent opposition is fun, it’s functional, and most importantly, it’s the way that real change is made! Here are some tools to get you started:

This is a step by step guide called Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice: Moving from Actor –> Ally –> Accomplice, which everyone should work through. It’s an amazing resource.

Put your dollar where your politics are! Boycotts and Procotts are a wonderful way of sending a message to companies (best if you follow up with an email letting them know why you did — or why you didn’t — spend your money with them). Here’s an Ethical Purchasing Guide, based on political contributions.

Reaching out to elected officials is a crucial component of the work we’ll need to do in the next four years. The DNC has completely lost touch with its base, and we need to let them hear our radical, left-of-left voices. This is something that I personally have been pretty bad about in the past, but I am resolved to change that as I move forward. Calling and writing is totally intimidating, but I’ve been making a lot of calls over the past month, and it’s actually pretty easy and it takes almost no time. We all need to do it!

Here’s a great article full of tips on how to effectively reach out to your elected officials: How To Make Your Congressman Listen To You

And if you suffer from social anxiety, the kind that makes cold-calling seem like a certain kind of hell, here’s an awesome cartoon infographic for that: How To Call Your Reps When You Have Social Anxiety

And through all of this, dear open-hearted people, remember to please take care of yourselves. Now more than ever, please practice self care. You need to keep yourself healthy so that you’ll be strong enough to fight. We need you healthy and strong! We need you to fight! I’ll be writing my own essay on Self Care For New Revolutionaries, coming soon. But in the meantime, this article is a good start. ♥

Alright, we’ll stop there for now. Stay strong my friends, and stay vigilant. I love you.

♥ ♥ ♥

We had such a wonderful party planned. We wore pantsuits and we got a Trump piñata for the kiddos and there was champagne and miniature hot sauce party favors, because Hillary Clinton loves her hot sauce. It’s been an ugly, ugly election cycle, but my friends and I promised ourselves: election day would be all about celebration. Just joy and laughter and coming together to celebrate. We were so confident . . .

I woke up on November 9th at 2:30 am face planted in my couch. I had fallen asleep there, crying. We had watched the acceptance speech and I wept into Jeremy’s chest. Bitter, ugly, heaving tears. I woke up at 2:30 tangled in my couch, and stumbled to bed. And I woke up again this morning, at a more reasonable hour. I turned over, snuggled into Jeremy, and wept again. Body-wracking tears. I fell asleep crying and I woke up crying.

I spent most of the morning feeling numb. Intermittently weeping. It felt like a nightmare. It couldn’t be real.

I’m sure many of you are feeling the same way.

Jeremy has been researching expatriation. He is really into Belize. I have other friends who are seriously talking about a California secession. California got it right this election, like we always do.

But I couldn’t think about any of that. I couldn’t think. It felt like physical trauma. I didn’t know how to make sense of it, how to accept this, how to move forward.

But then I had to face the world.

Damian had taken Waits the night before, so it was time for me to pick him up at school. The first time that I would see him. And I was trying to figure out how I could look into the eyes of my child, who I have promised never to lie to, and navigate a conversation about this. I felt so despondent.

Until I did it. I picked him up and we sat in the car together and I said, “Trump was elected. How does it make you feel?” He was fighting back tears, trying to be brave for his mama. But he asked me, “When will Trump start making my friends leave?” My sweet 6 year old baby is legitimately worried for the safety of his friends.

And that’s when everything changed for me. I realized that I couldn’t leave, I won’t run away and hide. And I felt my fire returning to my body. Because this isn’t about me. None of this is about me. It’s not about me or my trauma or my tears.

And now, I feel Lit Up from the inside.

And I want you to feel Lit Up too. I am ready to get radical, and I want you to be ready, too. Because when I looked around my party on election night, I was surrounded by Mexican Americans. Gay Americans. And a whole, whole lot of Nasty Women. And that’s what this is about right now.

So please, take care of yourselves, my friends. You will need your strength because a fight is on the horizon, and we ALL need to be there to meet it. We need your body, and your voice, and your action to fight for our black and brown brothers and sisters. Our queer community. Our Muslim friends and neighbors. We need to come together and we need to come strong.

That night there were four of us left by the time Clinton called to concede. So we opened the champagne that we had thought would be for celebrating, and instead we toasted to each other. We toasted to friendship. To community. To finding your tribe and holding them close.

I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot over this past week. Thinking about how she raised me to be a warrior, and to always fight for justice. She died when I was 9 and I know she would have loved so much to vote for a woman president.

But I’m honoring her today, by choosing love. I choose LIT UP, RADICAL LOVE.

And I’m ready to fight for it.

♥ ♥ ♥

And this, my friends, is it. Last weekend we officially opened the doors to Five & 1/4, our brand new weekly pop-up wine bar. And it was such a success! All our hard work and worry and turmoil and set-backs and plans and failed plans and new plans and so many long nights, early mornings, and man, the frigging stress! But we did it. It’s open, and it’s beautiful, and people loved it!

And I bet you’re probably wondering how it all happened, yes? So let me tell you the story.

^^ Well that one right there? He’s a pretty amazing man. And just under a year ago, he opened his first small business, Still – Elevate Your Ethanol (can you guys believe it’s been almost a year already??!) And Still is located in this amazing old building built in 1925, that takes up an entire corner of a city block in downtown Santa Barbara.

And around the corner, in the same building, is a little French creperie called Pacific Crepes. So when Jeremy began renovating the space for Still, everyone from the building came by to introduce themselves. Including Yvan, the owner of Pacific Crepes. And over the weeks and months since then, Yvan and Jeremy have formed a real friendship.

So anyway, Yvan and Jeremy had talked about doing a wine thing together, like a wine night or special events or something like that, but it never really moved beyond the brainstorming stage. And then one day, late last spring, Yvan showed up on the stoop at Still.

“I’ve made a decision!” (you have to imagine his heavy French accent)

“I’ve decided to close my restaurant at 3 from now on!”

And Jeremy was super stoked for him. “Yvan, that’s awesome! You’ll have evenings with your kid, and most people want crepes for breakfast and lunch anyways – that’s a fantastic decision.”

And then Yvan said: “So, I’m giving you my restaurant.”

Seriously.

Essentially, Yvan has been doing the same thing for 18 years and he’s burnt out. He has a 4-year-old at home and he wants more time for himself and his family. And he makes enough during breakfast and lunch to afford the space. So, he was proposing to close every day at 3, and after that we would be free to use the restaurant in whatever way we wanted. As much or as little as we chose.

In the immortal words of this Frenchman: “I don’t give a fuck. I just want it to be clean for me in the morning. Otherwise, I don’t want to think about it at all.”

Can you even believe it?

So anyway, once we had the offer we were off and running. There was never any question as to what our concept would be — we knew exactly what we needed to do because there is a glaring, gaping hole in the Santa Barbara wine scene.

SB is a tourist destination. It’s wine country. And that’s what draws a lot of the tourism . . . which means that almost every single glass of wine you can buy in Santa Barbara is a central coast wine. Period.

Which is great for the tourists — but a little monotonous for the folks who actually live here.

And the interesting stuff – the “old world” style, more rustic, more geeky stuff that Jeremy and I both prefer – well in order to get a pour of that in Santa Barbara, you’re spending upwards of $17-25 a glass. So, ya know, cost-prohibitive.

But that’s where our uniquely modern share-space situation is really an advantage. Because we have almost ZERO startup cost. The kitchen is there. The liqueur license is there. The tables and the silverware and the building and the kitschy art on the walls — it all already exists. And since our business model is so different from the standard in this way, it means we’re able to offer our wines at much lower margins.

Wine for the people!

And that’s what we want. We want everyone to be able to drink a really, really exciting glass of wine, without spending a small fortune. We want to honor all the wonder and fun and sensuality of wine, but leave behind all of the pomp and circumstance. So that’s what we’re doing.

Have you ever had wine from Lebanon? Or a Carricante from the northern base of Mount Etna, where the soil is so full of volcanic minerals that the wine tastes like salt and ore? Like a salty lemon delight?

And we have a Soave that smells and tastes like a tropical fruit salad. It’s bone dry, no sweetness at all, but it literally tastes like passionfruit and papaya in your mouth. I call it the “happy wine” because it just makes me smile when I drink it.

And the Susumaniello! Our most popular red from our opening weekend, it’s so rare that in all of his 15 years in the wine world, Jeremy had never tasted a Susumaniello until he sampled it for Five & 1/4 (all the wine reps love us because they’re finally getting to open all those bottles they’ve never been asked to open before). Our Susumaniello strikes that perfect balance between musty barnyard and ripe red fruit, and it’s my absolute favorite red that we sell.

The point is, we want everyone to taste these weird and wonderful wines, because that’s what wine is about, right?! About hanging out. Breaking bread. And experiencing something new, together.

And that was that.

And it kind of turned into a theme. We open at 5:15. And our list will always include one white and one red which will sell for $5.25 per glass (I told you, we mean business about keeping our prices affordable), and they won’t be crap “house wines” either. We work hard, search high and low, to find those rare gem value wines.

Our liqueur license requires us to serve food as well, so we do. Small plates, entirely plant-based (although it’s kept a secret for now, and we chose “accidentally vegan” dishes that wouldn’t raise any suspicions). This has actually been the hardest part of the whole venture, since it’s just Jeremy and I. No kitchen staff, no prep line, no nothing. We had to get real creative.

We’re starting small, with 8 whites, 8 reds, 1 bubbly, and 5 little nibblies to choose from. But we have lots of plans to expand. This is only the beginning!

I wish I’d taken more pictures of the space, and the food, and the wine, but well – it was a busy weekend. I’m sure I’ll have more to share soon, since this is sort of my life from now into the indeterminate future.

Five & 1/4 is open every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 5:15 – 10(ish). Maybe some day I’ll see you there?

Until then — cheers!

Hi Guys! Wow, so okay, I seem to have taken an un-planned blogging break. And honestly, I think I’m going to continue with that for the next few weeks. BUT, I didn’t want to just leave all y’all hanging, and also I have this incredibly amazing new project to share with you, so I figured I’d pop in for a quick update.

I’ve been trying to write this post for weeks – literally weeks – and things keep coming up and pushing it down the seemingly unending to-do list. I have so much going on right now, I may be busier than I’ve ever been before.

Anyway, before we get into all that, YOU GUYS WE ADOPTED A COMMUNITY GARDEN.




And by “we” I mean Waits’s preschool. One of the teachers found this abandoned secret garden (!!!) in her neighborhood, hidden along the railroad tracks, tucked behind a park. And she went to the city and was like “What’s up with that?” and they were all “Oh yeah, it was built in the 90s and then completely abandoned and has been sitting empty ever since.” and she was like “OOH ME ME!!” and they said “Well, okay”.

So that’s how that happened.





It’s a quarter of an acre, with [somehow, magically] a healthy little orchard of 6-8 dwarf trees (with amazing avocados, see??), but other than that’s it’s all dirt, dirt, trash, weeds, and more dirt. There’s a LOT of work to do, and we are so excited to do it!

The surrounding community is very underserved, primarily Spanish-speaking, and there’s just nothing like this there. Our plan is to get it cleaned up as quickly as possible to remove safety hazards, and then open the gates to the children of the community. It’s going to be so amazing.

I’ve already started about a billion fall seeds in my back yard, everything from leeks and shallots and red onions and chives, to birdhouse gourds and beets, to mustard greens and Chinese cabbage. We’re so lucky that we have a year-round growing season here in southern California, so we’ll be able to get things going right away. My outdoor table is totally covered with seed pots!






I’ll blog our progress as it unfolds. I’m so excited to share this amazing project with all of you!

Aside from the garden, I’ve got so many things that are keeping my busy these days, sometimes it’s hard to keep my head straight.

The biggest thing is that the project I’ve been heading for the past year has finally come to fruition. And even though it’s something I’ve been working on for so long, and I know I’ve mentioned bits and pieces in Love Lists and such, for the most part I realized that I’ve never formally written about it! But basically, last summer I wrote a grant proposal, trying to get funding to turn a face-to-face biology course that I TA for and that my advisor teaches, into a fully-online class. And, the grant was granted! I was appointed project manager and we set about converting this course into an online product. And we’ve been working on that for the past year — updating material, building the website, filming lectures, creating quizzes and examinations and figuring out how to administer them online, and conceptualizing and designing new learning activities that would not only replace, but actually enhance the students’ experience. It was so much work and it was my baby, and man, it’s been so cool to just literally build a thing where no thing was before.

And anyway, 2 weeks ago it went live. We are running our first class, and so it’s been a wiiiiiiild couple of weeks, as I’m sure you can imagine. Hello, unforeseen bugs and tech issues and troubleshooting — oh my!

But it’s fun. And stimulating. And so, so rewarding.

So I’m obviously super tied up with school/work, but on top of that, Jeremy and I are working on our next business venture, which is slated to open in the next few weeks. I KNOW. And I just can’t wait to tell you all about it! It’s a logical next step following from the barware and mixology shop that Jeremy opened last year, Still, and it’s not something we planned but something that sort of fell into our laps, and when opportunity knocks . . . ya know??? Still is mostly Jeremy’s thing, with me just being the vintage buyer and helping out here and there where I can. But this next business is both of ours, and it’s going to be so cool!

Did I mention I was busy?

Plus Waits and I packed up all of our worldly possessions and moved out of my house, and into Jeremy’s. So that took up some time.

And Harley is very sick. He hasn’t had another seizure since that first one back in July, but his brain tumor has progressed very quickly, and his health is deteriorating more and more each day. We’re trying to spend as much time as we can with him, before the end.

So why am I even telling you all this? I don’t know, really. But I just feel like – it’s always been so important to me to be honest and open in this space. It felt weird to be away, and to not tell you guys about it all.

So there it is.

My life is very full right now. Lots of beginnings, and also endings. And in a week and a half, my little boy will be starting kindergarten, and everything will change and it will never be the same again. So I’m going to continue taking some time to just hunker down with my family, and spend these last few weeks of summer in our own, real-life, quiet space.

Thank you all for continuing to visit me here, and to read, and to leave your wonderful comments. This little community we have created means more to me than you could ever know. And I have so many wonderful things to share this fall.

Looking forward to catching up with you then.

♥
~Sayward