@ Allison – Damian is like a lot of people – he didn’t think he cared much for organization or keeping things super clean, until he started experiencing it. It’s been a process and he’s not as meticulous as me for sure, but every time we get the livingroom good and spotless, he comments about how great it feels. He sort of let me designate where things go (because it mattered more to me) and he’s good about putting things back. If he can’t remember where something goes, say in the kitchen, he leaves it (in a designated place) on the counter. It’s a system that works well for us. He recognizes that orderliness is more important to me and I recognize that it’s less important to him and we both respect that. But, it’s also becoming more important to him the longer we co-habitate.

As far as your situation, what if he did all the laundry and folded it up, but left it neatly folded in the laundry bin for you to put away? That way he would do the majority of the work (like the deal says) but then you would get to put the clothes away how you like? Would that be a decent compromise?

@ Lily – Yes, maintenance is SO key! Especially, it sound like form other commenters, with a young child. I’m taking notes! =D

Yeah, even slacking for a day or two can throw a huge wrench into things. That’s the most difficult part for me. I’ll let things slide for 2 days and then be totally depressed at the accumulated mess, haha. That’s just mostly since the bed rest keeps me more immobile than I’d like.

But yes, maintenance and follow through is excellent advice! Also, GREAT little article! Everyone should read this!!

@ Laura O – My kitchen is my big one too, and the room that’s most likely to be sparkling at any given time. It’s totally ‘my domain’, haha. Damian has full reign of the garage, so we’re even. =)

@ Ero San – I’m not sure I agree with you. i know just as many ‘perfectionist’ men as I know ‘slovenly’ women.

I also think that ‘order in chaos’ is still order! I’m not suggesting that everyone put all their stuff in pretty white boxes. That’s just the example of what I do, but everyone should do what works for them. I definitely have friends who’s desks look like Staples (the store) threw up all over them, but they’re *organized* in the mind of the worker, and that’s what matters, ya know? As long as things are clean, the system is irrelevant.

@ Salekdarling – A to-do list is the best place to start. Luck! =)

@ Melisa – Well, I think you said it yourself, starting from a place of clutter is just awful. I’m ALL about what I call ‘paring down’. This goes for all aspects of life, from clothes in the closet to kick knacks around the house to overbooking a schedule. I like to be able to see everything clearly, so I only have as many clothes as I can easily display and I only have as many social obligations as I can calmly keep in mind. This really helps me, and it sounds like you could use a good dose of ‘de-cluttering’. Maybe spend one day the next few weekends, going through stuff and preparing to make a nice big donation to your favorite charity shoppe. Starting with a freshly emptied, clean slate, will go a long way!

Also, as Lily said, maintaining the daily order and following through with intentions (where stuff goes, how often dishes get done, etc) is critical.

Good luck!

Cassie – I’d offer the same advice as above. If clutter is less of an issue to you, I’d focus more on making a cleaning schedule (or at least an idea of the general cleanliness you and your boyfriend wish to maintain), and then *sticking to it*!

@ Amber – They’re Ikea boxes, but you can sometimes find them on Craigslist/at garage sales!

@ Annelise – I used to be a packrat too. It’s hard, but letting go of all that stuff was the beginning of my turnaround. Now I barely hold on to anything. I like it SIMPLE! =D

@ Courtney – That’s a great idea to use empty copy paper boxes. Even just plain file boxes can be so expensive!

Another thing that will help us a lot when we get in the habit is washing dishes when we use them. We have no dishwasher, and not a lot of counter space, so leaving them till later ends up with a huge, daunting pile at the end of the day, clogs up your counter space. I think trying this may help people in a similar situation to ours.

Something that helps me is a 1-2x per day quick tidy up, usually in the afternoon and before bed, because it helps to keep on top of everything.

It’s so true – it’s a conscious decision. Instead of blaming it on being a messy person and acting like you’re helpless in the situation, you have to decide that you do not want to live that way and take steps to make it happen.

Our next home purchase will be some of those cute boxes! They’re so nice, and are great of organization.

That “excessively” organizing thing involving aesthetics, is mostly a girl thing. At least me, I happen to see an order in “chaos” (in my chaos anyways) but most of the things that seem out of place have a good practical reason for being “out of place”.

But that only applies to men-in-the-wild I guess, because now that I live with my GF, her almost-OCD-like behavior of everything on its place and everything MUST be clean and neat has kind of started to take roots in me.

I would ask why does he orders your clothes the way he does, he might have a reason… Although, I do the same thing and my reasoning is to save time when hanging the clothes in the closet. I know where I hung them, so I don’t need to order them by color/size/type/brand.

Have him understand that you have trouble finding your clothes, and suggest a simple yet practical organizing scheme (pants on the left, blouses on the right)… Or just switch tasks again :)